TDM 12

[goldmods]

【 Thank you for choosing the Golden Peacock, 5-star resort and casino. You are currently registered as a WILDCARD in our system.

As a token of appreciation to all of our guests, the house and resort have worked in collaboration with the all powerful system that transmigrates souls between worlds to bring you a special excursion! All are invited to participate in our limited time event, Tits out! A Sex Dungeon! where guests can shop, craft, adventure, treasure hunt, and battle.

During this event, sexual encounters with WILDCARD guests are worth double the payout, so please keep an eye out for our new arrivals! Other supplies, such as typically banned weapons, are also available.

We appreciate our low rank guests temporarily adjusting their living quarters to accommodate this delightful experience. Extra thanks to you for your generosity! 】

WINDING MARKET

A ROOKERY COMES SPRAWLING

A CHARMING MARKET

► The Rookery floods the main lobby and begins construction on the eve of November 15th. This wandering group of merchants has decided to set up shop! From November 15th through January 1st, the Rookery will be operating a marketplace on the ground floor of the Golden Peacock. This marketplace operates at all hours and does not close.

► This once luxurious lobby has transformed into a rustic market. Wooden shops line the walls where eager merchants promote their wares. These little stores are stocked with handcrafted goods, specialty products, and artisanal treats. Unlike general Golden Peacock establishments, shops in the marketplace are willing to haggle and trade.

► Not all of these booths are occupied. Guests interested in selling their crafts or services are welcome to open up shop. The merchants of the Rookery will also hire resort guests looking for work.

CEDAR AND PINE

► This simple marketplace embraces small town charm. The scents of wood and pine meld with freshly baked bread and leather. The echo of a blacksmith striking metal resounds through chatter and laughter. Shopkeepers call and wave from their booths to lure in potential customers.

► Weather simulation has been introduced to the first floor. Snow falls from an artificial sky dotted with lights. This snow looks, feels, and tastes like the real thing. The temperature correspondingly drops to a brisk chill, so bundle up!

► Merchants decorate their shops with winding ribbons, baubles, and bells at the beginning of December. A massive pine tree graces the central square and patrons are invited to decorate it with sparkling ornaments.

Rumor of a gifting tradition spreads, with merchants jumping on board to offer gift wrap with every sale. If you don't give someone you care about a thoughtful present then you must not really like them at all!

SPECIALTY SHOPS

LIMITED TIME WARES

PREPARE FOR DUNGONEERING

► One of the biggest stores in the marketplace is the armorer's shop. It isn't safe to go adventuring in an unexplored dungeon without protection! Come one, come all. The best armor in town is here. The marketeers in the armorer's shop swear their supplies are the best in the business. Well-crafted! Quality materials! Enchanted to ward off the elements!

All available armor is extremely slutty. Every piece has been styled to emphasize the wearer's assets and barely covers anything. Tight, sexy, and functional. Isn't it a win/win for all? Let those tits battle and breathe!

► Guests that follow the sound of clanging metal will find the blacksmith. The front of the shop offers a basic selection of knives, swords, and shields for purchase. While the quality of these weapons is mediocre at best, guests may not want to pass up the opportunity to purchase a weapon while the house is allowing it.

Weapon aficionados may meet with the blacksmith to discuss enhancing the current selection. Special materials can be found in dungeon chests or collected from monsters to improve weapon quality. Guests willing to collect these materials and have the chips to spare can commission superior products.

► Several leather shops are competing for business. One specializes in enchanted leather pouches, another focuses on offering high quality boots. Leather journals make beautiful gifts. What lasts longer than leather clothing? Nothing! Or how about a leather hair accessory for that person with long, flowing locks?

Those browsing through these many leather shops best keep their wits about them. Not all of them are selling real leather! Some greedy merchants are trying to pass off plastic junk as the real thing. A few bold charlatans willing to lie about enchantments to customers that appear uneducated about magic. Do your best to not get swindled!

DRIED AND BAKED SUNDRIES

► The dried goods shop is the most popular amongst adventurers. Those preparing to head down into the dungeon can't leave without supplies, after all! One can find a broad selection of jellies, jams, preserves, cheese, jerky, nuts, and seeds. While they aren't the tastiest, they'll survive for several days in a backpack, which is exactly what every adventurer needs!

► The universe-renowned baking mogul, Mama Brot, has opened a shop selling her famous pretzels. These soft pretzels, nicknamed breastzels, come in both sweet and savory variations. They are deliciously plush and melt in the mouth. It's said that one bite of one of her pillowy breastzels will send you straight to heaven. Dessert and bread connoisseurs cannot miss out!

Guests eager to get their hands on some of Mama Brot's breastzels have their work cut out for them. The shops restocks with fresh breastzels every morning, but the line to purchase starts queuing two hours beforehand. Supply runs out quickly every time Mama Brot decides to whip up a new batch. Good luck!

► Small bakeries peppering throughout the marketplace kick off December with a flurry of decorated cookies. Guests will find cookies and biscuits cut into different shapes, painted with icing, smeared with jam, and drizzled with chocolate. Hot chocolate booths also pop up, their baristas encouraging guests to gather and enjoy the snow by the center market tree with a cozy drink.

JOBS & QUESTS

A MAKESHIFT TAVERN

CALLING ALL ADVENTURERS: A SLAYER QUEST AWAITS!
Are you looking to make big coin? Do you have the strength and endurance to take on the dungeon? Then we want YOU to join our guild's quest to sLay!

The dungeon is teeming with sexy monsters that need sLaying. All you need to do to sLay is to fuck them real good! Once satisfied, these sexy monsters may drop quality loot. Join in the hunt to sLay and consolidate drops with our guild! We're happy to make trades or buy.

Yaaassss sLay all day!

JOB POSTING ONE! BIG PAYOUT FOR EASY WORK!

I am a pharmacist looking for some brave adventurers willing to go down into the dungeon and collect dongle flower milk for me. I need at least 10 bottles! This is an important ingredient in one of my popular prescriptions. I am not athletic enough to go get it myself and my supplies are running low.

Please deliver all dongle flower milk to the medical shop in the northwest corner of the market. Please note, I need FULL bottles. Do not skimp or I won't pay!

JOB POSTING TWO! HELP A WOMAN'S GROWING BUSINESS!

I am a young lady looking to expand my make-up business. I heard rumors that there's water in the dungeon that could make an AMAZING base for make-up products. But it sounds like it's super scary in there and I don't want to go. Please, someone, help!

You can bring all bottles of dungeon water to the make-up booth in the southeast corner of the market. I'm willing to pay in chips or trade some of my current products. My face masks and nail polishes are really good!

JOB POSTING THREE! PLEASE DON'T ASK WHY!

Hello. I need many dungeon slime cores, so I am looking for everyone and anyone willing to go slime hunting and gather some for me. We can negotiate pay based upon the number of slime cores brought. Do not inquire what the slimes or their cores are needed for.

Please bring all slime and slime core deliveries to back door of the Dried and Baked Sundries shop. Thank you!

JOB POSTING FOUR! I WANT COLLECTABLES!

If you're going into the dungeon, I want collectables. If you find that fabled treasure room, bring me back something cool and shiny. I'm willing to pay good money! I don't care what it is as long as it's hard to get and I can brag to my friends about it.

You can find me drinking in the tavern. I'll be wearing expensive velvet and a tiny hat with a feather.

PULL UP A CHAIR

► As a watering hole for adventurers looking for a place to kick back and relax with a hot beer, the tavern is a hot spot at all hours. Crude and sticky, there's never a dull moment at this establishment! Fights break out every night, drinking competitions are the norm, and it's the best place to gather information.

The tavern doubles as an inn, offering a dozen rooms above the bar for adventurers to cool their heels. A night's stay is relatively cheap and costs only a handful of chips.

► Guests can pick up jobs and quests from the tavern's request board. Postings vary in difficulty and payout. Anyone is welcome to pick them up and they can be completed for as long as the dungeon is active.

► Jobs and quests can be completed through the dungeon prompts below. They may be done multiple times. These job posters need a lot of supply!

► Guests can also list their own jobs and quests to the tavern's request board. While the board is typically meant to attract adventurers for hire, guests can advertise their own services this way. The bartender really doesn't care what goes up. She's too busy breasting boobily behind the counter in a corset that hikes her cleavage against her throat.

A WHOLE NEW BASEMENT

GOOD LUCK, NEW ARRIVALS

A TRENDY RENOVATION

► Low rank guests will be delighted to find that the basement has been completely renovated! Basement and maintenance floors have been converted into a realistic dungeon complete with gray stone, torchlight, and the echo of crawling monsters. Low rank suites have been temporarily adjusted to match the aesthetic.

► The communal bathroom has also been styled into a medieval latrine. Low rank guests can now enjoy bonding together over a communal trench and chamber pots. A helpful sign has been posted on the door advising guests to be wary of slimes coming up through the piping.

► Low rank guests that aren't happy with their living arrangements can check out the rooms above the tavern. They need only chat with the bartender and pay a fee for each night they wish to stay. It's up to them whether or not they think a dungeon filled with monsters or a raucous tavern is better for their beauty sleep.

NEW ARRIVALS

► New arrivals find themselves waking in various locations throughout the dungeon. Unlike low rank guests who have dungeon suites, new arrivals wake randomly in the upper and lower levels of the dungeon. Anywhere is fair game.

► New arrivals are considered dungeon monsters. In fact, wildcards are the number one hunted monster for the extremely popular sLaying quest! They'll have to keep on their toes if they don't want to be sexily sLayed.

► Stepping away from resort standard, wildcards wake dressed to embody their role as an erotic dungeon monster. The house knows that its guests have eclectic tastes, so monster costumes range from skimpy strategically placed furs to full body suits.

► What are dungeon monsters without drops? Wildcards will also wake with a pouch of valuables for adventurers to collect. These items can vary from useful ores, gemstones, and chip vouchers to random items like condoms, vegetables, and shiny rocks.

UPPER DUNGEON

START THE DESCENT

FLOOR 1

Heading down the stairs from the marketplace leads to the first floor of the dungeon. This is where all low rank suites have been condensed. Corridors are generally dry and well lit, with twisting ivy and torches lining the walls. Some guests say that it’s an improvement over the previously dreary, dirty basement.

Only a handful of monsters are brave enough to come close to the surface. The ones that do have low IQs and are easily defeated.

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► Barrels, crates, and chests can be found in corners and intersections. Low value materials, like perishables and basic clothing, can be found inside. This may or may not include the personal items of low rank guests misplaced during renovations. Whoops!

Watch out! Mimic chests love to hide amongst these crates. Opened mimic chests chase nearby guests, desperate to thrust their slimy tongues into any reachable orifice. They’re also quite dumb, happily repopulating areas where other mimics have been beaten. It isn’t uncommon to find a new one where an old one had been just yesterday!

► Sprigs of mistletoe grow over doors and dangle from the ceiling. Nothing happens when someone passes alone. The enchantment is only triggered when two or more people intersect. Those who cross under the mistletoe may find themselves unable to leave its proximity. As if an invisible bubble has appeared, attempts to leave will be rebuffed.

The mistletoe enchantment can only be broken by kissing. Some mistletoe may be satisfied with a brief kiss while others may require its victims to use tongue. Get ready for some smooching!

FLOOR 2

Multiple stairways across the first floor lead down to the second. As guests head down, they will find the temperature dropping and light dimming. The stairwell opens up to a reveal crumbling archways, staggered levels of ruins, and rich moss blanketing over stone.

This dungeon floor has several gaps between ruins and multiple pockets of open space. Old wooden bridges creak in the wind. Leaves flick across, carried on steady breeze. Treasure chests and harpy-like monsters can be found throughout the ruins.

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► Adventurers need to cross multiple bridges to make it to the next portion of the dungeon. However, they will find that they cannot cross these bridges alone. All bridges in this area vanish the moment someone steps out solo. Luckily, falls to the ground are cushioned by a thick blanket of moss.

Adventurers must step forward together, hand-in-hand, in order to cross. Guests that stop holding hands while crossing, hesitate, or mistrust one another will find the bridge vanishing from beneath their feet.

► Wind speeds spike dangerously at random intervals and send the floor into sub-freezing temperatures. During these times, it is advised that adventurers take cover, because they might end up blown away. There are sporadic abandoned campsites in caves and alcoves where guests can wait out the wind.

These campsites serendipitously offer a cozy bedroll. One cozy bedroll. With howling winds knocking out torchlight, the only way to keep warm is to cuddle up and share body heat. Oddly enough, the furious winds only calm down after adventurers snuggle. Weird!

FLOOR 3

Lush vegetation dominates the third floor. Pathways are challenging to follow beneath overgrown flora. Ancient trees twist between crumbling pillars. This dungeon forest is teeming with sexy floral monsters that blend with the brush and provoke adventurers with sensual whispers. Isn’t it amazing how accurate they are in pinpointing your kinks?

Monsters on this floor love to tease and fondle guests passing through. Adventurers cutting through the forest may end up groped by branches, leaves, and flowers. Or more! These floral monsters can get very handsy.

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► Treasure chests can be found throughout the dungeon forest. The floral monsters will try to protect them, but none of the monsters in this area are particularly strong. Wood nymphs seduce guests away from chests and vines will lash out to slap their hands. Chests on this floor are valuable, offering high-quality potions like elixirs and panaceas.

Not all potions are good. Some bottles are decoys that cause unwanted effects. The three most common decoys are love potions, hatemance potions, and flora potions.

LOVE POTION: A magical liquid designed to make the person who drinks it fall in love with the first person they see.

HATEMANCE POTION: A magical liquid designed to make the first person who drinks it fall into hate, coupled with passionate sexual desire, for the first person they see.

FLORA POTION: Liquefied chlorophyll designed to temporarily transform anyone who drinks it into a sexy monster. Monster need not be plant-based.

► An invasive species, the dongle flower, can be found in large number in the center of the forest. This flower’s fleshy petals phallically cone into one another and stand erect from a small cluster of leaves at its base. This flower is mostly known for its milk, which can be collected by pumping its petals. Those unfamiliar with this breed of flora may mistake it for a human penis, but closer investigation will confirm that it is indeed a plant.

Getting to close to the dongle flower comes with risks. This flower is notorious for ejaculating its milk when stimulated. Dongle flowers in close proximity may trigger one another and cause a chain of milk ejaculations. Dongle flower milk has analeptic properties that heighten virility, sensitivity, and sex drive. The more milk, the more potent.

LOWER DUNGEON

HALFWAY DOWN

FLOOR 4

A slope leads the way down to the fourth floor. Adventurers must be careful with their footing to avoid taking a spill because the path is steep and uneven. Why are these stones sticking up so much, anyway?!

Guests not watching their step may end up triggering a trap. After a trick stone sinks beneath their weight, a rumble echoes throughout the dungeon. This echo the ominous prelude to a giant boulder crashing down and rolling after them! (There is a nipple painted on the boulder.)

Those that don’t want to get squashed by the boulder may have to throw themselves off the ledge. Depending on where they decide to jump ship, they will end up in a different chamber designed to test their mettle.

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► CHAMBER ONE: An unfurnished room with no windows or doors. This chamber is deep, making it difficult to try and scale the walls back up to the path. Lone adventurers will end up stuck until someone else joins them, because the trap will not trigger until two or more guests are inside.

Once at least two guests are trapped, spikes spring from two opposing walls. They slowly begin to close in and a booming voice declares: BE EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE OR DIE!

The floor will give way for guests that comply. Those that do not and cannot get out of the room on their own will be spiked. They may escape with injuries or die. If the latter, they will revive in the Broken Wing clinic.

► CHAMBER TWO: This chamber is divided into multiple parallel rooms. These rooms are designed to facilitate a specific kink between the guests trapped inside. They might be furnished with toys or vacant with only a gloryhole in a partition. Regardless, every room has a door locked shut with a bulky padlock.

After two guests have entered a booming voice declares: EXPLORE KINK OR REMAIN TRAPPED FOREVER!

Padlocks will drop and doors will open for guests that comply. Those that do not are doomed to be trapped forever… or figure a way out through demolition. That disembodied voice is going to be really salty when adventurers realize that last option exists.

FLOOR 5

Water commands the fifth floor. Adventurers must tread through dark and damp tunnels that lead into flooded chambers. Pools and rivers run throughout, with some areas reaching depths of 50 feet. Treasure chests are submerged but are worth the effort, offering ores, metals, and rare stones that can be used to enhance weapons with the blacksmith.

Reverse mermaids live in these waters. They enjoy swimming alongside adventurers and spreading their legs to show off how good they are for fucking.

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► Slimes ooze along the ceiling and plop into the water. They float along like jellyfish, but will direct themselves toward adventurers they sense nearby. Slimes vary in size and color, though the majority are small enough to cup between two hands. The mother slime, a giant slime hidden deep in the depths, occasionally appears to absorb adventurers into her gelatinous body.

Small and deceptively cute, these little monsters are attracted to adventurers and eager to ooze all over them. Different colored slimes and their secretions cause various physical reactions. Slimes can be mixed to create combination effects.

CLEAR SLIME: Clear slime is an aphrodisiac that can also be used as a lubricant.

PINK SLIME: Pink slime amplifies shyness and embarrassment.

PURPLE SLIME: Purple slime triggers sexual aggression and sadistic tendencies.

YELLOW SLIME: Yellow slime may enhance dominate or submissive inclinations.

MOTHER SLIME: Secretions from the mother slime trigger a breeding rut/heat. The more contact one has with the mother slime, the more intense the rut/heat.

► The water in this dungeon has unique properties. Adventurers that soak for long periods of time may find their skin clearing up, their hair becoming shinier, and their features becoming dewy and radiant. This water is imbued with beauty magic that intensifies the sexiness of those who drink or bathe in it. Everything they do, even sneezing or scratching an itch, will be tinted in a pink glow of attractive glamor.

Guests that soak for too long run the risk of becoming powerfully distracting. Beauty can be bewitching, so take care to not charm other adventurers into becoming obsessed admirers, lest you become an unwitting Helen of Troy!

Drinking the water comes with an additional potential side effect. The drinker's voice has a 25% chance of becoming hypnotic. They may be able to entrance others or cause them to orgasm through dirty talk alone.

FLOOR 6

Drying off won't be a problem after getting down to the sixth floor! The temperature jumps to a sweltering degree and light glints off silvery glass. Orange and red flicker and dance. Stepping into the yawning mouth of this massive floor reveals a giant pit of blazing fire beneath a twisting mirror maze.

Muscular minotaurs prowl, prepared to kidnap adventurers and whisk them away to their dens. This maze is also equipped with traps and enchantments designed to redirect guests back to the beginning entrance. Adventurers will need to use creativity and ingenuity to navigate this labyrinth while battling intense heat.

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► Guests can take cover in small chambers at maze corridor intersections. These rooms are also sweltering but, happily enough, there are magical air conditioners available! Two plates on opposite sides of the room must simultaneously be stepped on in order to activate the ice enchantment.

Comfort comes with a price. Something strange happens when magic sparks: the adventurers standing on the activation plates have swapped bodies! They won't be able to switch back immediately, either, because the ice enchantment has a cool down period. Their options are to either wait it out or go find another room with an unused ice enchantment!

► Adventurers that successfully navigate their way through the maze will find a long corridor leading to a massive shining door. They've found the exit down to the treasure room where riches upon riches are waiting. Money, money, money!!

Guests that let their guard down while walking to the door may end up shot with an arrow! In classic dungeon fashion, holes in the wall open and launch arrows all the way down to the entrance of the treasure room.

Getting shot by an arrow will trigger lust at first sight! Forget about everything else and look at your fellow dungeon crawler. Aren't they so erotic? Don't you really want to fuck them right now and forget about all that treasure? Or perhaps they're still rocking around in your swapped body. Isn't it suddenly tempting to fuck yourself?

TREASURE ROOM

IT DEFINITELY ISN'T CURSED

FLOOR 7: THE BOTTOM FLOOR

The final floor of the dungeon is a massive chamber glittering with precious gems, metals, and enchanted valuables. Piles and piles of gold coins are stacked as far as the eye can see. Treasure chests line the walls, overflowing with sparkling jewelry. Anyone that’s ever wanted to swim in piles of gold can finally make their dream come true.

Guests can take whatever they can carry. They have to make their way back up through the dungeon with it, so hopefully they came prepared!

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► Brave adventurers that managed to come this far deserve worthwhile gains. Those who enter the treasure room are welcome to pick up special treasures from the following selection. None of these items are game breaking, so players can pick up multiple or mix and match.

ECHO STONE: A small stone that fits in the palm of a hand. When tapped, it sends out a soft pulse that outlines nearby exits, hidden passages, or alternate routes in shimmering light.

EARRINGS OF FATE: A matching pair of diamond studs. If shared between two people, the wearers can sense each others’ location all times.

CLOAK OF INVISIBILITY: Shimmering silver fabric as smooth as water. Wearing this cloak grants invisibility.

THONG OF BRONZE: A bronze thong. Wearing this thong increases power, endurance, and speed, but only when worn alone.

RING OF PROTECTION: A simple gold ring enchanted to protect the wearer. While this is useful during battle, it also can act as birth control and prevent sharing diseases.

CLICK LOCK LOCKET: A simple golden heart-shaped locket. The wearer can open the locket and give themselves temporary body modifications for up to two hours at a time.

MECHANICAL MOUSE: A mechanical mouse that registers its master with a drop of blood. A little friend that can scout, transport small items, and fit into tiny spaces.

BRASS COMPASS: A small brass compass with delicate gears. It doesn’t point north. Instead, it points to the carrier's deepest desire or the object they seek the most.

FEATHER OF FLIGHT: A delicate feather that feels lighter than air itself. Grants the ability to fly for a short period but the user must have it in their possession and activate it. Works in bursts, such as allowing them to jump across wide gaps or avoid a deadly fall.

HAND OF LUCK: A small, silver broach shaped like a human hand, fingers outstretched in a gesture of good fortune. The hand grants increased luck to the user, influencing dice rolls, odds, or even the outcome of risky decisions. However, it only works once per day. When it activates it may make other things worse.

► An iridescent door glitters at the back of the treasure room. Written on an aged scroll pinned to the wall is an explanation that this door can send adventurers home. They will have abandon their companions for this opportunity, because one who uses the door must pass through alone. The scroll explains that the door will only work once within a span of several hours, making it impossible for anyone else to immediately use it. There is also the risk that it will never work again.

Of course, the door isn't really sending anyone back to their world. Guests that decide to take the leap will find themselves walking straight into their suite upstairs. The scroll didn't specify which home!

OOC NOTES

INVITES | RESERVES | APPLICATIONS

▶ BLANKET CW: alcohol; altered states; anonymous; aphrodisiacs; BDSM dynamics; body swap; breeding kink; classic tropes; costumes; cum play; dubcon; death; enchantments; erotic plants; erotic monsters; entrapment; hypnotism; noncon; temperature play; traps; weapons; violence; voice kink

▶ All characters on the TDM are WILDCARDS, which means they have not yet been assigned a card value. Suits will not manifest until characters are accepted into the game.

▶ All TDMs are game canon. This TDM acts as the game's November event and is designed to provide content for players through the mods' December break. The marketplace and dungeon will ICly conclude on January 1st.

▶ Current characters may top level on the TDM. Any current characters posting to the TDM should note they are current in their subject header. The top level directory is for new characters only. We want to make sure new characters are prioritized and receive attention!

▶ Smut threads that take place on this TDM can be used for rewards. If both parties in the smut thread join the game, you may retroactively apply the character's initial card values to your 52 bank. If one character does not join the game the thread will not be applicable toward rewards (as that character would not have a card value). The character that does join would still receive a small payout for the encounter. Hopefully it was a fun thread regardless!

▶ We ask you to kindly add content warnings to your threads as appropriate.

▶ If you do not currently have permissions and kinks listed in your character’s journal we suggest leaving a note in your top level of any limits or boundaries for other players to reference.

NAVIGATION • LOG • NETWORK • OOC • MEME

Comments

dr. veritas ratio | honkai: star rail | new player/new character

[abust]

LOWER DUNGEON
FLOOR 6: MUSCULAR MINOTAUR MADNESS

[ a loincloth. he has awoken in all manner of ways and has ventured on numerous expeditions to all variety of planet in the cosmos, but he has never woken up so disgracefully. the… horns affixed to his head are already begging a headache. a great, double-headed axe is beside him. a labrys and most certainly another prop to this oh so ornate costume. 

it is a flimsy loincloth. that is his immaculate costume. a flimsy imitation of a minotaur. 

ratio is thoroughly disgusted to find that not only is the blade frankly impressively dull, the knob end of it tapers into an astonishingly detailed phallic shape. both ends feature this.... addition. on further examination, the seemingly elaborate fine details engraved into the dulled blades are of an explicitly sexual nature, featuring genitalia drawn as design.

it takes surprisingly little time to understand the bizarre circumstance he has been thrown into, that he is a vile monster mean to kidnap innocent adventurers. he understands the small pouch at his side is prizes any brave adventurer should be seeking, as well as diving further to some grandiose treasure room. thrilling. how utterly cliche. 

veritas ratio, being the good doctor that he is, has deigned to stalk the floor to aid the foolish. if he’s kidnapped someone, it’s only to safeguard them from their own idiocy by squirreling them into the den like cave he awoke in until they recover. ]

( ooc: ratio will be helping adventurers through the mazes!! and criticizing their lackluster intelligence and berating their poor decisions nonetheless!! he will help anyone succumbing to heat exhaustion (removing some clothes would help greatly) and similarly will be quick to rescue anyone struck by any arrows and may take an arrow to defend someone else!! ) 

FLOOR 5: SLIMES

[ the sweltering heat of floor six is left and ratio is pleased to trespass into the damp domain he finds. the sights are perverse, baffling things he won’t soon forget. he’s dripping wet, taking a short rest at a shallow pool of water to wonder of the sights, the torchlight flickering off the water and off the bodies of the impressive collection of slimes coating the ceiling of the tunnel. there seems to be a mass of them here, more than the odd one here or there he’s observed on the way here. some crawling along the ceiling and others following him like a puppy after it’s master. the variety of colors is fascinating and ratio laments not having the time to study the creatures. 

he has quite a healthy perch he has seated on, a patch of smooth stone not submerged in water and even while he tries to rest after a dip in the pool, he finds the ones in the pool of water seem to make their way towards him and countless expeditions have spared him the naivety of assuming harmlessness. paired with extensive education he’s well versed in exercising caution interacting with what he does not know. he keeps a respectful distance, no matter how harmless they may appear or how they may gravitate towards him, looking very much like jellyfish floating in the water.

he makes an enchanting image, wet hair brushed back, immaculately sculpted body damp and glistening under the torchlight with little left to imagine with him only in a loincloth. the combination of red and amber in his eyes nearly glowing in the firelight of one of the few torches he's found and appreciates. he's far from realizing the mere action of simply cooling off in the waters of this floor has glamoured him.

the tell-tale distant splash of someone or something approaching has his head jerking towards the noise. the small distraction is unfortunately enough to give the little slimes time to catch up to the previously elusive doctor if he's not careful. ] 

(ooc:  COLOR YOU WANT TO SEE? let me know! or give me a number 1-6 and i’ll make it random for us! )

UPPER DUNGEON
FLOOR 2:

i. ONE BEDROLL
[ as truly fascinating as the promise of treasure is — it’s not — ratio is venturing in the opposite direction. he began his venture dripping with sweat from the intolerable, hellish heat of the sixth floor. he has begun to regret ever cursing the sweltering inferno, because the loincloth provides no protection from the freezing gusts. he does not like to taste defeat, but he is no fool. he takes cover before he is no more. his teeth are chattering by the time he ducks into the safety of a cave that is simply too convenient that shelters a campsite that is similarly simply too convenient. the frigid winds snuff out the torchlight before he can even take advantage of it, his rather mortal eyesight treating him poorly in the dark cave and dim lighting. 

he knows he is not alone, but he sees nothing more than shades of darkness as he approaches both the bedroll and the other seeking shelter. ] 

I am more than willing to share, [ he grits out, teeth chattering. ] I hope you do agree that sharing a bedroll is far more welcome than succumbing to hypothermia.  

ii. HANDHOLDING
[ knowledge is something that ratio seeks like a man in the desert seeks water with a boundless thirst. after numerous floors of various challenges, ratio has hit quite the perplexing puzzle. this bridge that simply refuses to let him cross. the soft bed of bed moss below has caught him countless times now. humiliating. 

ratio could merely climb to the other side, it does appear to be quite possible. rather stubbornly, he has not done that, but returned to where he began. he has thwarted numerous tricks and puzzles at this point and this disappearing bridge is nothing a scholar couldn’t handle. he surmises quite quickly the root problem in his equation: he is alone. a dungeon that feasts on sexual encounters would hardly stand for that, undoubtedly. 
that doesn’t mean he looks approachable as he waits, shivering in the dim lighting. a nearly naked man. the axe likely doesn’t help appearances. he’s not purposefully stood in the shadows, but truly, the winds are cold and he is in a loincloth. the oversized axe he brings with him has a dildo on either end of it. this monster is truly not frightening. 

he might be a bit of a surprise when he demands the next person that approaches the bridge, ] You’ll want to stop where you are.

FLOOR 1: MISTLETOE

Excuse you. [ ratio has spent an unbelievable amount of time to get to this floor to be held hostage by a sprig of greenery. the withering look he’s leveled onto the unfortunate party to be trapped in his proximity is brutal. ] What is it now?

[ he has learned well by this point. this dungeon has very specific tastes for answers. he crosses his arms soundly over his very much bare chest. he still clothed in just a simple loincloth. some incredibly fake horns attached to his head. ] Well. 

I presume neither of us wish to stand here all day. Give me your hand.

  [ this scholar has learned one trick. however, it’s not the correct answer this time. ]

COMMUNAL BATHROOM

[ it will not come to l great surprise to anyone that knows the esteemed doctor veritas ratio that when he surpasses all odds and innumerable struggle and makes it to the top, a bath is in order. 

the bathhouse is terribly public and while ratio spends some iota of time thinking of the inevitable germs of such communal things, it does not keep him away. as such, anyone that finds themselves requiring a bath will find ratio in the depths of a lukewarm bath in a wooden tub. pathetic accommodations, but he will make do.

he is not just taking a quick wash, he has stretched himself out in the tub, leaned against the wooden wall, arms casually resting on the rim. the loincloth has been tossed aside, yet the horns remain well attached, and the double-dildo labyrs is set beside the tub. after such an arduous journey, he is eager to put it all behind him and erase this throbbing headache it has given him. he has procured his favored book and is deeply engrossed. 

oh, and it just so happens to be the only tub available. only barely large enough one can presume it is meant to be shared.
 
ratio looks to be in no mood to be getting out soon. if anyone has problems with the 'monster' in the tub, they are free to take it up with him. ]

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE.

write your adventure with the good doctor! OR: see a floor you’d like to encounter ratio on? leave me a number and i’ll get to it! 

OOC

new character, new player!! i am incredibly rusty, please be gentle! playing him pansexual and a top, i always assume early 30s for ratio... annnd i do not presently have a permissions/kink post open but like…… go wild!!!! no seriously though, i’m very open. if you have any questions/concerns just shoot me a pm! 

mistletoe

[lunarnocturne]

Ah, pardon? [Despite being clad as a sexy dragon complete with claws, horns, and tail, Flins' polite reply comes out evenly enough no matter how much Ratio glares at him. He regards the other man with confusion before he notices the dainty plant poised overhead. Thinking he's perhaps barring the way, he goes to move aside... only to find himself firmly rooted in place.] Oh. Hmm... Well, this is a predicament, isn't it?

[He sounds... almost amused? Certainly not mad or even annoyed, unlike his fellow prisoner. He's moments away from trying something when Ratio demands his hand, leading to raised brows and a curious expression. But he assumes from the other's irritability that this might not have been the first occurrence for him and that he knows the trick to escaping, and thus obligingly holds out a clawed hand.]

My apologies for contributing to our dilemma. This place does love its little social gimmicks, doesn't it?

[abust]

[ the… polite reply does soothe some of his ire, but the absurdity of their situation does little to do anything other than grate his already agitated nerves. his headache is compounded by the needlessly revealing outfit inflicted on the other half of the victim to this game. he does suppose he is at least fortunate enough to not have a tail.

and claws. ratio’s brow ticks up at the extended hand and poorly imitated dragon claws he finds there.

he exhales a very long suffering sigh and makes an effort to be tolerable. he is not the only one experiencing a truly awful day.] No, my apologies — it has been a very long day.

[ he has seen all manner of things he wishes he could scrub from his brain. a sexy mockery of a dragon is nothing. he reaches out with his own perfectly human, if well-manicured hand. mindful of the claws, he slots their fingers and hands together. ]

On one of the previous levels, I found that this was the solution. [ he explains, feeling exceptionally foolish holding hands as they are. nevertheless, he looks up at the mistletoe and tries to take a further step away and finds his back still hitting an invisible wall. another headache. ] …however, it appears that is not the correct answer this time.

[lunarnocturne]

[There's a reason he tends to maintain a pleasant and polite attitude outside of it being in his nature: it tends to grease the wheels socially more often than not. If it doesn't serve to put others at ease, then at least it often makes them feel foolish or like a jerk for being rude to him. And frequently it gives him an upper hand when dealing with unruly individuals.

Thankfully it seems this one is at least willing to make the effort and meet him halfway, something he always appreciates. So with a hum of acknowledgement, he inclines his head in a bit of an apology. Clearly the other man is frustrated, and not unduly so. While Flins himself doesn't mind these shenanigans too terribly, he can easily see why they would get under others' skin.

Especially when so much is being shown already. Heh...] I can only imagine. It's my hope to make it no worse, though it seems I may have failed there.

[He indicates the mistletoe above them with a shrug. What's done is done; now they need to work on figuring out a means of escape. Thankful that Ratio seems to have an idea, he glances at their interlaced fingers curiously.]

Ah, I see. That makes sense. This place does seem eager to instigate physical contact. [With that failing, though, he frowns and lets out a thoughtful hum.] It seems they're smart enough to not use the same trick twice. Allow me.

[With his free hand, he conjures a ball of blue flame and flicks it towards the offending plant, hoping to set it ablaze. While it seems to catch alight, it doesn't actually burn. Alas!]

Fascinating. But unfortunate.

[abust]

You are not the cause. [ ratio’s very cutting glance at the mistletoe makes it abundantly clear that their circumstances are the fault of this trap and, more specifically, the entity responsible for this entire pitiful production. he is not known for his bedside manners, but ratio can hold his tongue where it’s due, and this man is as much as victim as he is.

fortunately, he seems to be much more tolerant than ratio is. he barely seems ill with being tethered in an invisible cage.

ratio feels uncommonly and uncomfortably foolish holding hands whilst trying to step outside of their invisible box. it feels more pathetic yet when his theory has failed and they’re stood there, ridiculously. holding hands.

he raises a brow with tepid intrigue when flins offers an attempt. the soft blue light of the flame is inspiring, but ratio can hardly claim to be surprised when the plant resists it. unfortunate indeed. ]

Very. The traps I’ve encountered have been unfairly resistant to sabotage, [ ratio laments as he pulls his fingers free from their unsuccessful attempt. he utters a soft hmm as he regards the man before him. flins is correct, he hasn’t seen the same solution twice and the solutions have only been intimate. this will be no different there. ]

I hope you’re not opposed to trial and error.

[lunarnocturne]

Quite so. Still... [He feels rather foolish for having fallen into such a simple trap in the first place, truthfully. It's quite embarrassing and made even more so by the ridiculous attire he's been forced into. It's almost enough to incite ire within him. Almost. It's only the hope for a simple solution that has him remaining calm and composed, though his frown deepens as his attempt to attack the mistletoe fails.

It's becoming quite the vexing little matter; he rather wishes the damnable thing came with instructions so they could simply proceed to grant its request and be done with it. Sadly, things are never that simple in life.

Heaving a put upon sigh, he straightens up and regards Ratio thoughtfully. If holding hands isn't what the plant is after, what will work? He's somewhat hesitant to entertain various ideas, although they can't help coming to mind all the same.]

That does not surprise me. We do appear to be in a dungeon designed to facilitate intimate interactions. [As they let go of hands, he merely nods in agreement, holding a clawed hand to his chin thoughtfully.]

Not at all. That's the fastest way to discover our means of escape. Do you have any ideas for our next attempt? I'm rather afraid what comes to mind is quite... crude. [Given the suggestive nature of the props and everything else, he has an inkling what lengths this place might go to. He only hopes that's not the case with the mistletoe.]

[abust]

Oh, of course. [ ratio has a drove of ideas of what may work. the first matter was merely seeking consent to proceed, though he truly doubts anyone would want to remain stood fast here for the remainder of their time. he does so regret not affixing his bust onto his face before this collision, but he is not attached to the idea of his immaculate bust adorned with tacky horns.

crude is certainly a fair description of a number of the possibilities. he may not enjoy the carnal nature of these little puzzles, otherwise he might have found the little brain teasers fascinating. ] 

Now that I know I have your full cooperation, we can start with the least offensive of possibilities. 

[ truthfully, he's already begun. he only wanted approval before continuing for much the same reason flins already seems aware of. one would have to be particularly obtuse to not expect something crude. not terribly long ago, he had some miraculous reverse mermaid begging for fortification. ]

An embrace would be my next suggestion. Do excuse me.  [ now that he does have cooperation, he voices the suggestion and is already uncrossing his arms from his chest. he is not, particularly, a fan of close-contact. least of all with strangers. regardless. his hand extends, his fingertips curl around flins' waist and he pulls him slightly towards him, his other arm curling around the man's thin waist as the idea of personal space is effectively snuffed out. it is not the most bizarre situation he has been in today. ]

Minotaur please hahaha this is too funny

[softstoneheart]

[ cooling off the space with an ice spell? Who needs that, amirite? Fire is Topaz's element, so a little heat and breasting boobily through the quest won't be enough to throw off her mental processes. She likes the challenge mostly, even if treasure hunting without Numby isn't nearly as fun.

Dungeon crawling is a little like a video game, which she can appreciate: even if someone as cautious as her can spot the traps immediately. They're easy to avoid. But for first time in well over a year, missing her partner finally gets the better of her. She pauses to heave a sigh.

While breasting boobily.

It's at that moment, she catches sight of the well-renowned and respected doctor and gives a friendly wave. She doesn't hide how she gives him a quick glance over from top to bottom, but after that, her gaze is fixed politely on his face. ]

So they got you too, huh?

[ But then that leads to an even bigger question: ]

Wait. Wait wait wait. Why are you here?

he does not find this funny ):

[abust]

[ a familiar face is not expected in the twisting labyrinth, but it is, admittedly, a pleasant surprise. where there is trouble in his life, seeing the ipc should come as no surprise. veritas ratio is an imitation of a minotaur, but as a real human — it is quite warm. he may be perspiring more than he would care for and what he would truly like is a bath.

topaz, however, is what he gets. he approaches leisurely, swiping his hair out of his face. she is not dressed as an x-rated monster. he can only be jealous. that doesn’t mean he has the decency to be shy. ]

Indeed. [ they have “got” him. he scarcely knows what she is doing asking him, when she is here as well. ]

To kidnap virginal damsels or some nonsense.

[ his incredibly dry tone imparts the impression that he is not doing that. ]

What are you doing here?

Re: he does not find this funny ):

[softstoneheart]

[ The virginal damsels like earns an amused snort. ]

Good thing I'm not a virgin.

As for why I'm here, it's kind of a long story.

[ While she isn't dressed as an erotic dungeon monster, her treasure hunter outfit is more like a glorified leather bikini with a cape. Thankfully, it doesn't hinder movement, so she approaches, light and nimble on her feet, not setting off a single trap. ]

The TL;DR is that Aventurine and I were intercepted by this multi-universe nexus, designed to harvest the energy created by people from universes that wouldn't have otherwise met interacting.

And yet, despite the get ups and that weapon of yours, the energy they're seeking isn't sexual.

[abust]

[ he’s all ears for an explanation, as fascinating as this all is. it’s incredibly performative. while topaz isn’t a virginal damsel or quote-unquote monster, she’s dressed no less ridiculous. she may be faring better in the sweltering heat, regardless.

there is certainly very poor support for her breasts.

ratio similarly politely keeps his gaze above the chest, brows only climbing marginally more at the mention of aventurine. he regards his own (unsanitary) axe, the hefty thing sat dildo down on the ground. it does very little to support topaz’s claim. ]

Not sexual? They mostly certainly had me fooled.

[ he can only imagine that’s only loosely the case, a byproduct of sexual contact or similar. he’d be surprised if so. ]

I do hope the IPC intends to reimburse for this.

[softstoneheart]

Okay, yeah: that's one of many things that hasn't been clearly explained. What sustains this place is the reaction caused by impossibility or improbability. Using the Imaginary Tree as a reference, if we say that each branch is a universe growing infinitely without touching others, there's great energy making those branches converge.

What hasn't been figured out is what makes sex— even the act of just watching other people going at it— the most effective interaction.

Basically, the goal is not sex: but it's also NOT not sex. But the person who had passed this info onto me has since turned to stone.

[ She shudders and shifts uncomfortably. She still remembers the last time they chatted and them seeing what had happened to his partner, Sazanami-kun. And now they're together. ]

I've really been slacking in terms of research.

Anyway, the IPC isn't responsible for this. And even if they were there's no way to prove anything that happens here happened. It exists outside of space-time: To that point, new arrivals have claimed they just saw people who have been imprisoned here for months. Furthermore, known people from our universe stated the mission I have yet to go on has already been successfully completed.

[ she adds with a grumble: ]

It'd be a really cool thought exercise— if we weren't like, stuck in it.

One bedroll + one human furnace

[philancer]

[ The snowy marketplace up in the lobby had been such a nice nostalgic reminder of home, the familiar smells, the bite of a chill in the air.

This, though? This bitter cold and howling wind was far more like the reality of Gautier territory, the kind he didn't exactly miss. But at least he was an expert in surviving it, and as a person who typically ran pretty warm, even in the deep of winter, the little cave and bedroll had likely been enough to get through this next patch of nasty weather.

Another body shivering into his cave made the chances even better, even if his expression is mildly concerned as he glances up to eye the unfamiliar figure that staggers in out of the shadows. ]

Pretty sure hypothermia is always the bad end. [ And then he spots what the stranger is wearing and gives a surprised snort of laughter as his eyes widen slightly. ] I see the House is having their fun again. Get in here before you turn to a icicle.

[abust]

[ if he were better equipped for the frigid temperament of this floor, ratio may not have been so very ill with it. as it is? his fingers and toes burn in a way that he worries will become frostbite if he refuses shelter, however it may come. occupied or not. there is the matter of the idiotic sLaying, as he has heard, but it is far removed from his present concerns. 

the snort of laughter is not unkind. ]

Please, [ ratio sounds absolutely suffering, ] D-Do not remind me.

[ the winds outside are so loud they nearly swallow his words in their howling. his hair is a windswept disaster, and he shudders audibly, his teeth chattering as he quickly makes work of the distance between them. the freezing winds had caught him unawares and now the promise of warmth is enough to outweigh any discretion. apologies, he says through his chattering as he does, he peels back the bed roll just enough to allow himself room to squeeze within. the warmth is almost scalding, more a testament to his own dire condition. the relief is immense and he is not ashamed for their abrupt intimate proximity... and his state of undress. ]

... apologies for intruding.

[ two grown men barely fit. they are becoming very familiar quite suddenly. ] 

I am, ahem, Dr. Veritas Ratio...

[ and this man is terribly warm. ]

[philancer]

[ Helping to part the bedroll just long enough for the other man to crawl inside - and hopefully not let all the heat escape in the process - Sylvain tries to squish himself to one side as much as possible.

This man is also not terribly small.

But once the man - doctor, apparently? - has wiggled in, he's quick to drag him close. Very familiar indeed, but he has first hand experience with the best way to drive off dangerous cold. Body heat's an eve better way to stave it off than a mere bedroll. ]

Don't worry about it, I've been in worse spots. I'm not easy to scandalize anyway. Welcome to my cave, Dr. Veritas Ratio. You can call me Sylvain. Since we're getting so up close and personal.

scrub a dub tub

[tohell]

[ You know what kills the mood for any poor, unexpecting soul, just trying to squeeze in a long soak after an even longer day? Somebody else popping up, nearly out of thin air, to chuck an object directly into their bath. Is it a toaster? A gaggle of live crabs? Obscene instruments of desire that ( one can hope ) are fresh from their shiny micro-plastic producing packaging?

Strangely enough, none of the above. What lands in Veritas Ratio's tub is simply more water. Which would be of no consequence, when he's already soaking in the stuff. Except, this time, it's piping hot. ]

Gird your loins if you've gott'em! [ That may not be the intended meaning, but no funny little idiom that allows for a double entendre is safe from J misusing it for his own ends. As for that announcement? When it comes three seconds after the fact it's more a declaration than an effective warning. But when dealing with a creature who routinely does worse than essentially turning the good doctor's bathwater into Man Soup, it's leagues more than expected.

Where did J find a bucket full of scalding water? He made it, of course! Not the liquid itself, mind you. That's sourced from the highest caliber reservoir.... of the leaky old, rusted over faucet nearby. The heat, though, is of his own making. A little fireball or two conjured by hand can do wonders at getting things brewing to a steaming boil. He's got another one going, ready for round-two if the water still isn't up to snuff. ]

How is it now, hmm? It was practically frigid out of the faucet. [ He could find out for himself, if J didn't have one hand full of fire while the second is busy rooting around in a satchel for some rather suspiciously unlabeled bottles of unknown liquid and ominously colored powder. A pinch of the latter is thrown into Ratio's bathwater with the flourish of a chef seasoning a pot of stew, filling the air with an aroma palatable for any other situation than this.

Ratio may have been better off with the toaster. ]

[abust]

[  it has been a tremendously long day. this respite is much needed and though the soap was rather sparse, ratio is content. as he soaks, he is mentally trudging back through his day and the plethora of information he has collected that... amounts to very little. nonetheless, he loves a challenge. 

perhaps it is his own fault for letting his guard down in this abominable place. no, there is no question. it was a very poor decision. 

he is engrossed in thought, staring fiercely at the book before him, when all of a sudden there is a torrential downpour of scalding water assaulting his senses. in an undignified sputter, he is swiftly abandoning his previously peaceful bath, his book discarded back into imagination. in a graceless splash of scalding water, finds his way to his feet, dripping heavily into the bath and looking as pitiful as a drowned rat. naked. his body understandably flushed from the scalding water.

he raises a hand, pushing back the drenched curtain of bangs obscuring his vision. he finds the bath water pooled around his legs an entirely suspicious color and, more importantly, the reckless fool responsible right in front of him. his fingers itch to call on a piece of chalk to throw squarely at his head. ]

Pray tell, [ he asks through grit teeth. ] Whatever gave you the idea I was cold? 

fancy seeing you around here doc :) handholding

[waged]

( how long had aventurine been waiting them, just sufficiently far that his presence didn't disrupt the deep thinking a familiar face seemed to be going through? well... frankly, he doesn't know either. it feels equally long and not at all, but what aventurine does know is that it's... amusing. entertaining, even. that it'd be all the way in the golden peacock that the one and only veritas ratio would find something that truly cracked at his brain. had him the memory, it'd be fairly reminiscent of a certain eventful day back in penacony, in the halls of dewlight pavilion.

only when aventurine decides to put ratio out of his misery is when he's at last noticed, though not yet recognized. that too is fine. it will certainly make for an interesting meet-up, when ratio is wearing nothing but a loincloth and aventurine is... well. at least he has more than one piece of cloth in him, which counts for something. adventurers aren't all physical types, and as the assigned mage of the party, at least he gets an intricate cape over his bare shoulders, and shorts that... aren't the most flattering, but that's peacock standard. )

Or else? I will fall onto a bed of moss like you have, Doc? ( because he saw that too, sorry. ) I can't remember the last time I saw you so troubled to find an answer to something. Need a hint?

did aventurine enjoy watching ratio embarrass himself ):

[abust]

he had been warned. topaz had mentioned as much, that errant name dropped in a wealth of information. and yet he still feels surprise when he recognizes the face before him, the adventurer he stopped no mere stranger. he recognizes secondly that the gambler is no more clothed than himself, his gaudy attire traded for skimpy shorts and a cape. his gaze snaps rather respectfully back up to aventurine's face.even his nose is spared the usually insufferable amount of fragrance aventurine wears. embarrassing

 lastly, he recognizes his failures have been spied upon. ugh. ]

The gambler himself...

[ ratio's approach ceases at a close distance, coming to stand beside him, and despite the ire aventurine hopes to inspire poking at his failures, the scholar does not fall for the easy bait of being teased. a familiar face is, shamefully, a relief. ]

I'm well aware there's no means of crossing alone. My humiliating falls have proven that with immeasurable certainty. 

[ he gestures at the innocuous bridge before them, appearing rather solid and as if it would not just disappear without a singular notice. ]

 Now. Do you care to lend yourself to my trials? 

yes it's in his top 5 favorite memories of ratio now 😊

[waged]

Oh? Don't tell me you're going to send me off to my death now?

( metaphorically speaking!!!!! he's no less suicidal than the last time ratio saw him, sorry, but at least it's just a joke!!! about falling off a bridge into a mossy nothingness!!

but at least, if there's something else that is still the very same in spite of how long it has been that aventurine saw ratio is the trust he has in the man - perhaps even above his luck, fickle and nonlinear as it may be. he looks between the bridge and ratio, as though studying his options, though it's all theatrical. the answer has long been decided, and surely the both of them know that, right? )

Not like I can cross it by myself now, can I? Sure thing. What's your plan?

wow ratio is out here being a gentleman

[abust]

[ he is fairly certain he has gray hairs from aventurine's last stunt and unlike the other, it was not so long ago for him. so, no. the joke is not hitting. aventurine is getting a look. ]

You know very well I'm not. 

[ they are stood side by side, the bridge in front of them. quite the sight they must make, each dressed as ridiculous as they are. ratio watches those uncanny eyes of aventurine's peering between the bridge before them and him, looking very clearly as though he were calculating. he's not so naive to believe the very casual tone aventurine takes. his trust has never been a thing given easily, but ratio has never betrayed any faith aventurine has placed in him. ] 

I don't intend to take you tumbling to the moss. My plan is fairly painless.  [ as harmless as those falls were, not a scratch on his body, he would not drag aventurine along into his disgrace. if he didn't have a plan, he would not propose what he does. aventurine's trust was quite hard won. ratio's holds out his hand, palm up and clearly inviting something to be pressed into his hand. he clarifies: ]  Your hand, if you please.

needs to be more mean aven likes it more 😔

[waged]

( of course not. not a man who is known universe-wide as a doctor first and foremost, and even through his own self-deprecating joke does aventurine eat at himself for suggesting such a thing. no. out of everyone he knows, ratio would be the last person to ever willingly put him in danger, huh.

doesn't mean the hand is any more welcoming. sure, aventurine has been around for - quite too long, but old habits die hard, and trauma just don't leave people. his eyes may fall on that offered hand, waiting for another that doesn't come as soon as it should have. like there are stakes to weight in this, whether it's appropriate to take that hand and whether doing so would amount to something catastrophic or not.

it's just a hand. in a - what's more likely than not - sex dungeon. aventurine should know better.

so in spite of the hesitation, or because of it, he takes the hand. )

Alright. Scared I'm gonna run off? ( another joke! because! that's just how he operates, unfortunately. ) Or is it that you think your ticket to the other side is the company of a proper guest?

communal bathroom

[indigently]

[ Kaveh, unfortunately, needs the bath, still dealing with the residue of the slimes on his skin. Unfortunately, the room that he's stumbled into has a bath clearly occupied by a man with horns... who, of course, is reading, because that's totally a sensible thing to do in the bath.

He sighs and strips off the barely-there armor he's wearing, leaving him naked—and cold—as he pads over to the tub and gives the stranger a Look. ]

Do you mind moving your legs, please? I need to get this slime off my skin.

[ He doesn't mind sharing! He just needs some room to sit, too. ]

i’m sorry kaveh

[abust]

[ the swiftest way to rid his mind of useless clutter is in the same manner of cleaning his body. a… troubling thing when he doubts the hygienic nature of the tub he’s claimed, but it is far better than nothing at all. he wishes, so very much so, that he had placed on his headpiece before sinking into the tepid water.

then, at least, he wouldn’t have to see his peace and solitude be so frankly interrupted.

ratio pays the man utterly no mind as he disrobes, engrossed in his own thoughts, the book before him bearing all the weight of his thoughtful stare. it is only when his tub is approached does his mouth twitch in a frown. he is utterly unfazed by the look he receives, not even looking up from the book.

despite the polite request, ratio does in fact not move his legs. ]

Please, do wash the grime from your body before entering the tub. You can find soap and washcloth at the sink.

[ he very helpfully gestures at such. ]

After you’ve done so, then by all means…

so difficult

[indigently]

[ Kaveh stares. What is it with all these book-obsessed men who are insistent on being as difficult as possible? It's freezing now that his clothes are off, and the slime residue isn't helping, and now this jerk— ]

You do know that—

[ He cuts himself off, fists clenched by his sides. No, it's fine. He's fine. Just... just see if he helps this guy out once the dungeon crawl is over and he has the entire resort at his disposal...!!! Hmph—

Sulking in his own mind, he stalks over to the basin and wets the washcloth, soaping it up before starting to clean himself off. He shakes and grumbles the whole time he's doing it, but eventually it is done. He comes back to the bath, colder than even before, and glares at the inhabitant. ]

Well? I'm clean.