TDM 12

[goldmods]

【 Thank you for choosing the Golden Peacock, 5-star resort and casino. You are currently registered as a WILDCARD in our system.

As a token of appreciation to all of our guests, the house and resort have worked in collaboration with the all powerful system that transmigrates souls between worlds to bring you a special excursion! All are invited to participate in our limited time event, Tits out! A Sex Dungeon! where guests can shop, craft, adventure, treasure hunt, and battle.

During this event, sexual encounters with WILDCARD guests are worth double the payout, so please keep an eye out for our new arrivals! Other supplies, such as typically banned weapons, are also available.

We appreciate our low rank guests temporarily adjusting their living quarters to accommodate this delightful experience. Extra thanks to you for your generosity! 】

WINDING MARKET

A ROOKERY COMES SPRAWLING

A CHARMING MARKET

► The Rookery floods the main lobby and begins construction on the eve of November 15th. This wandering group of merchants has decided to set up shop! From November 15th through January 1st, the Rookery will be operating a marketplace on the ground floor of the Golden Peacock. This marketplace operates at all hours and does not close.

► This once luxurious lobby has transformed into a rustic market. Wooden shops line the walls where eager merchants promote their wares. These little stores are stocked with handcrafted goods, specialty products, and artisanal treats. Unlike general Golden Peacock establishments, shops in the marketplace are willing to haggle and trade.

► Not all of these booths are occupied. Guests interested in selling their crafts or services are welcome to open up shop. The merchants of the Rookery will also hire resort guests looking for work.

CEDAR AND PINE

► This simple marketplace embraces small town charm. The scents of wood and pine meld with freshly baked bread and leather. The echo of a blacksmith striking metal resounds through chatter and laughter. Shopkeepers call and wave from their booths to lure in potential customers.

► Weather simulation has been introduced to the first floor. Snow falls from an artificial sky dotted with lights. This snow looks, feels, and tastes like the real thing. The temperature correspondingly drops to a brisk chill, so bundle up!

► Merchants decorate their shops with winding ribbons, baubles, and bells at the beginning of December. A massive pine tree graces the central square and patrons are invited to decorate it with sparkling ornaments.

Rumor of a gifting tradition spreads, with merchants jumping on board to offer gift wrap with every sale. If you don't give someone you care about a thoughtful present then you must not really like them at all!

SPECIALTY SHOPS

LIMITED TIME WARES

PREPARE FOR DUNGONEERING

► One of the biggest stores in the marketplace is the armorer's shop. It isn't safe to go adventuring in an unexplored dungeon without protection! Come one, come all. The best armor in town is here. The marketeers in the armorer's shop swear their supplies are the best in the business. Well-crafted! Quality materials! Enchanted to ward off the elements!

All available armor is extremely slutty. Every piece has been styled to emphasize the wearer's assets and barely covers anything. Tight, sexy, and functional. Isn't it a win/win for all? Let those tits battle and breathe!

► Guests that follow the sound of clanging metal will find the blacksmith. The front of the shop offers a basic selection of knives, swords, and shields for purchase. While the quality of these weapons is mediocre at best, guests may not want to pass up the opportunity to purchase a weapon while the house is allowing it.

Weapon aficionados may meet with the blacksmith to discuss enhancing the current selection. Special materials can be found in dungeon chests or collected from monsters to improve weapon quality. Guests willing to collect these materials and have the chips to spare can commission superior products.

► Several leather shops are competing for business. One specializes in enchanted leather pouches, another focuses on offering high quality boots. Leather journals make beautiful gifts. What lasts longer than leather clothing? Nothing! Or how about a leather hair accessory for that person with long, flowing locks?

Those browsing through these many leather shops best keep their wits about them. Not all of them are selling real leather! Some greedy merchants are trying to pass off plastic junk as the real thing. A few bold charlatans willing to lie about enchantments to customers that appear uneducated about magic. Do your best to not get swindled!

DRIED AND BAKED SUNDRIES

► The dried goods shop is the most popular amongst adventurers. Those preparing to head down into the dungeon can't leave without supplies, after all! One can find a broad selection of jellies, jams, preserves, cheese, jerky, nuts, and seeds. While they aren't the tastiest, they'll survive for several days in a backpack, which is exactly what every adventurer needs!

► The universe-renowned baking mogul, Mama Brot, has opened a shop selling her famous pretzels. These soft pretzels, nicknamed breastzels, come in both sweet and savory variations. They are deliciously plush and melt in the mouth. It's said that one bite of one of her pillowy breastzels will send you straight to heaven. Dessert and bread connoisseurs cannot miss out!

Guests eager to get their hands on some of Mama Brot's breastzels have their work cut out for them. The shops restocks with fresh breastzels every morning, but the line to purchase starts queuing two hours beforehand. Supply runs out quickly every time Mama Brot decides to whip up a new batch. Good luck!

► Small bakeries peppering throughout the marketplace kick off December with a flurry of decorated cookies. Guests will find cookies and biscuits cut into different shapes, painted with icing, smeared with jam, and drizzled with chocolate. Hot chocolate booths also pop up, their baristas encouraging guests to gather and enjoy the snow by the center market tree with a cozy drink.

JOBS & QUESTS

A MAKESHIFT TAVERN

CALLING ALL ADVENTURERS: A SLAYER QUEST AWAITS!
Are you looking to make big coin? Do you have the strength and endurance to take on the dungeon? Then we want YOU to join our guild's quest to sLay!

The dungeon is teeming with sexy monsters that need sLaying. All you need to do to sLay is to fuck them real good! Once satisfied, these sexy monsters may drop quality loot. Join in the hunt to sLay and consolidate drops with our guild! We're happy to make trades or buy.

Yaaassss sLay all day!

JOB POSTING ONE! BIG PAYOUT FOR EASY WORK!

I am a pharmacist looking for some brave adventurers willing to go down into the dungeon and collect dongle flower milk for me. I need at least 10 bottles! This is an important ingredient in one of my popular prescriptions. I am not athletic enough to go get it myself and my supplies are running low.

Please deliver all dongle flower milk to the medical shop in the northwest corner of the market. Please note, I need FULL bottles. Do not skimp or I won't pay!

JOB POSTING TWO! HELP A WOMAN'S GROWING BUSINESS!

I am a young lady looking to expand my make-up business. I heard rumors that there's water in the dungeon that could make an AMAZING base for make-up products. But it sounds like it's super scary in there and I don't want to go. Please, someone, help!

You can bring all bottles of dungeon water to the make-up booth in the southeast corner of the market. I'm willing to pay in chips or trade some of my current products. My face masks and nail polishes are really good!

JOB POSTING THREE! PLEASE DON'T ASK WHY!

Hello. I need many dungeon slime cores, so I am looking for everyone and anyone willing to go slime hunting and gather some for me. We can negotiate pay based upon the number of slime cores brought. Do not inquire what the slimes or their cores are needed for.

Please bring all slime and slime core deliveries to back door of the Dried and Baked Sundries shop. Thank you!

JOB POSTING FOUR! I WANT COLLECTABLES!

If you're going into the dungeon, I want collectables. If you find that fabled treasure room, bring me back something cool and shiny. I'm willing to pay good money! I don't care what it is as long as it's hard to get and I can brag to my friends about it.

You can find me drinking in the tavern. I'll be wearing expensive velvet and a tiny hat with a feather.

PULL UP A CHAIR

► As a watering hole for adventurers looking for a place to kick back and relax with a hot beer, the tavern is a hot spot at all hours. Crude and sticky, there's never a dull moment at this establishment! Fights break out every night, drinking competitions are the norm, and it's the best place to gather information.

The tavern doubles as an inn, offering a dozen rooms above the bar for adventurers to cool their heels. A night's stay is relatively cheap and costs only a handful of chips.

► Guests can pick up jobs and quests from the tavern's request board. Postings vary in difficulty and payout. Anyone is welcome to pick them up and they can be completed for as long as the dungeon is active.

► Jobs and quests can be completed through the dungeon prompts below. They may be done multiple times. These job posters need a lot of supply!

► Guests can also list their own jobs and quests to the tavern's request board. While the board is typically meant to attract adventurers for hire, guests can advertise their own services this way. The bartender really doesn't care what goes up. She's too busy breasting boobily behind the counter in a corset that hikes her cleavage against her throat.

A WHOLE NEW BASEMENT

GOOD LUCK, NEW ARRIVALS

A TRENDY RENOVATION

► Low rank guests will be delighted to find that the basement has been completely renovated! Basement and maintenance floors have been converted into a realistic dungeon complete with gray stone, torchlight, and the echo of crawling monsters. Low rank suites have been temporarily adjusted to match the aesthetic.

► The communal bathroom has also been styled into a medieval latrine. Low rank guests can now enjoy bonding together over a communal trench and chamber pots. A helpful sign has been posted on the door advising guests to be wary of slimes coming up through the piping.

► Low rank guests that aren't happy with their living arrangements can check out the rooms above the tavern. They need only chat with the bartender and pay a fee for each night they wish to stay. It's up to them whether or not they think a dungeon filled with monsters or a raucous tavern is better for their beauty sleep.

NEW ARRIVALS

► New arrivals find themselves waking in various locations throughout the dungeon. Unlike low rank guests who have dungeon suites, new arrivals wake randomly in the upper and lower levels of the dungeon. Anywhere is fair game.

► New arrivals are considered dungeon monsters. In fact, wildcards are the number one hunted monster for the extremely popular sLaying quest! They'll have to keep on their toes if they don't want to be sexily sLayed.

► Stepping away from resort standard, wildcards wake dressed to embody their role as an erotic dungeon monster. The house knows that its guests have eclectic tastes, so monster costumes range from skimpy strategically placed furs to full body suits.

► What are dungeon monsters without drops? Wildcards will also wake with a pouch of valuables for adventurers to collect. These items can vary from useful ores, gemstones, and chip vouchers to random items like condoms, vegetables, and shiny rocks.

UPPER DUNGEON

START THE DESCENT

FLOOR 1

Heading down the stairs from the marketplace leads to the first floor of the dungeon. This is where all low rank suites have been condensed. Corridors are generally dry and well lit, with twisting ivy and torches lining the walls. Some guests say that it’s an improvement over the previously dreary, dirty basement.

Only a handful of monsters are brave enough to come close to the surface. The ones that do have low IQs and are easily defeated.

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► Barrels, crates, and chests can be found in corners and intersections. Low value materials, like perishables and basic clothing, can be found inside. This may or may not include the personal items of low rank guests misplaced during renovations. Whoops!

Watch out! Mimic chests love to hide amongst these crates. Opened mimic chests chase nearby guests, desperate to thrust their slimy tongues into any reachable orifice. They’re also quite dumb, happily repopulating areas where other mimics have been beaten. It isn’t uncommon to find a new one where an old one had been just yesterday!

► Sprigs of mistletoe grow over doors and dangle from the ceiling. Nothing happens when someone passes alone. The enchantment is only triggered when two or more people intersect. Those who cross under the mistletoe may find themselves unable to leave its proximity. As if an invisible bubble has appeared, attempts to leave will be rebuffed.

The mistletoe enchantment can only be broken by kissing. Some mistletoe may be satisfied with a brief kiss while others may require its victims to use tongue. Get ready for some smooching!

FLOOR 2

Multiple stairways across the first floor lead down to the second. As guests head down, they will find the temperature dropping and light dimming. The stairwell opens up to a reveal crumbling archways, staggered levels of ruins, and rich moss blanketing over stone.

This dungeon floor has several gaps between ruins and multiple pockets of open space. Old wooden bridges creak in the wind. Leaves flick across, carried on steady breeze. Treasure chests and harpy-like monsters can be found throughout the ruins.

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► Adventurers need to cross multiple bridges to make it to the next portion of the dungeon. However, they will find that they cannot cross these bridges alone. All bridges in this area vanish the moment someone steps out solo. Luckily, falls to the ground are cushioned by a thick blanket of moss.

Adventurers must step forward together, hand-in-hand, in order to cross. Guests that stop holding hands while crossing, hesitate, or mistrust one another will find the bridge vanishing from beneath their feet.

► Wind speeds spike dangerously at random intervals and send the floor into sub-freezing temperatures. During these times, it is advised that adventurers take cover, because they might end up blown away. There are sporadic abandoned campsites in caves and alcoves where guests can wait out the wind.

These campsites serendipitously offer a cozy bedroll. One cozy bedroll. With howling winds knocking out torchlight, the only way to keep warm is to cuddle up and share body heat. Oddly enough, the furious winds only calm down after adventurers snuggle. Weird!

FLOOR 3

Lush vegetation dominates the third floor. Pathways are challenging to follow beneath overgrown flora. Ancient trees twist between crumbling pillars. This dungeon forest is teeming with sexy floral monsters that blend with the brush and provoke adventurers with sensual whispers. Isn’t it amazing how accurate they are in pinpointing your kinks?

Monsters on this floor love to tease and fondle guests passing through. Adventurers cutting through the forest may end up groped by branches, leaves, and flowers. Or more! These floral monsters can get very handsy.

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► Treasure chests can be found throughout the dungeon forest. The floral monsters will try to protect them, but none of the monsters in this area are particularly strong. Wood nymphs seduce guests away from chests and vines will lash out to slap their hands. Chests on this floor are valuable, offering high-quality potions like elixirs and panaceas.

Not all potions are good. Some bottles are decoys that cause unwanted effects. The three most common decoys are love potions, hatemance potions, and flora potions.

LOVE POTION: A magical liquid designed to make the person who drinks it fall in love with the first person they see.

HATEMANCE POTION: A magical liquid designed to make the first person who drinks it fall into hate, coupled with passionate sexual desire, for the first person they see.

FLORA POTION: Liquefied chlorophyll designed to temporarily transform anyone who drinks it into a sexy monster. Monster need not be plant-based.

► An invasive species, the dongle flower, can be found in large number in the center of the forest. This flower’s fleshy petals phallically cone into one another and stand erect from a small cluster of leaves at its base. This flower is mostly known for its milk, which can be collected by pumping its petals. Those unfamiliar with this breed of flora may mistake it for a human penis, but closer investigation will confirm that it is indeed a plant.

Getting to close to the dongle flower comes with risks. This flower is notorious for ejaculating its milk when stimulated. Dongle flowers in close proximity may trigger one another and cause a chain of milk ejaculations. Dongle flower milk has analeptic properties that heighten virility, sensitivity, and sex drive. The more milk, the more potent.

LOWER DUNGEON

HALFWAY DOWN

FLOOR 4

A slope leads the way down to the fourth floor. Adventurers must be careful with their footing to avoid taking a spill because the path is steep and uneven. Why are these stones sticking up so much, anyway?!

Guests not watching their step may end up triggering a trap. After a trick stone sinks beneath their weight, a rumble echoes throughout the dungeon. This echo the ominous prelude to a giant boulder crashing down and rolling after them! (There is a nipple painted on the boulder.)

Those that don’t want to get squashed by the boulder may have to throw themselves off the ledge. Depending on where they decide to jump ship, they will end up in a different chamber designed to test their mettle.

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► CHAMBER ONE: An unfurnished room with no windows or doors. This chamber is deep, making it difficult to try and scale the walls back up to the path. Lone adventurers will end up stuck until someone else joins them, because the trap will not trigger until two or more guests are inside.

Once at least two guests are trapped, spikes spring from two opposing walls. They slowly begin to close in and a booming voice declares: BE EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE OR DIE!

The floor will give way for guests that comply. Those that do not and cannot get out of the room on their own will be spiked. They may escape with injuries or die. If the latter, they will revive in the Broken Wing clinic.

► CHAMBER TWO: This chamber is divided into multiple parallel rooms. These rooms are designed to facilitate a specific kink between the guests trapped inside. They might be furnished with toys or vacant with only a gloryhole in a partition. Regardless, every room has a door locked shut with a bulky padlock.

After two guests have entered a booming voice declares: EXPLORE KINK OR REMAIN TRAPPED FOREVER!

Padlocks will drop and doors will open for guests that comply. Those that do not are doomed to be trapped forever… or figure a way out through demolition. That disembodied voice is going to be really salty when adventurers realize that last option exists.

FLOOR 5

Water commands the fifth floor. Adventurers must tread through dark and damp tunnels that lead into flooded chambers. Pools and rivers run throughout, with some areas reaching depths of 50 feet. Treasure chests are submerged but are worth the effort, offering ores, metals, and rare stones that can be used to enhance weapons with the blacksmith.

Reverse mermaids live in these waters. They enjoy swimming alongside adventurers and spreading their legs to show off how good they are for fucking.

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► Slimes ooze along the ceiling and plop into the water. They float along like jellyfish, but will direct themselves toward adventurers they sense nearby. Slimes vary in size and color, though the majority are small enough to cup between two hands. The mother slime, a giant slime hidden deep in the depths, occasionally appears to absorb adventurers into her gelatinous body.

Small and deceptively cute, these little monsters are attracted to adventurers and eager to ooze all over them. Different colored slimes and their secretions cause various physical reactions. Slimes can be mixed to create combination effects.

CLEAR SLIME: Clear slime is an aphrodisiac that can also be used as a lubricant.

PINK SLIME: Pink slime amplifies shyness and embarrassment.

PURPLE SLIME: Purple slime triggers sexual aggression and sadistic tendencies.

YELLOW SLIME: Yellow slime may enhance dominate or submissive inclinations.

MOTHER SLIME: Secretions from the mother slime trigger a breeding rut/heat. The more contact one has with the mother slime, the more intense the rut/heat.

► The water in this dungeon has unique properties. Adventurers that soak for long periods of time may find their skin clearing up, their hair becoming shinier, and their features becoming dewy and radiant. This water is imbued with beauty magic that intensifies the sexiness of those who drink or bathe in it. Everything they do, even sneezing or scratching an itch, will be tinted in a pink glow of attractive glamor.

Guests that soak for too long run the risk of becoming powerfully distracting. Beauty can be bewitching, so take care to not charm other adventurers into becoming obsessed admirers, lest you become an unwitting Helen of Troy!

Drinking the water comes with an additional potential side effect. The drinker's voice has a 25% chance of becoming hypnotic. They may be able to entrance others or cause them to orgasm through dirty talk alone.

FLOOR 6

Drying off won't be a problem after getting down to the sixth floor! The temperature jumps to a sweltering degree and light glints off silvery glass. Orange and red flicker and dance. Stepping into the yawning mouth of this massive floor reveals a giant pit of blazing fire beneath a twisting mirror maze.

Muscular minotaurs prowl, prepared to kidnap adventurers and whisk them away to their dens. This maze is also equipped with traps and enchantments designed to redirect guests back to the beginning entrance. Adventurers will need to use creativity and ingenuity to navigate this labyrinth while battling intense heat.

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► Guests can take cover in small chambers at maze corridor intersections. These rooms are also sweltering but, happily enough, there are magical air conditioners available! Two plates on opposite sides of the room must simultaneously be stepped on in order to activate the ice enchantment.

Comfort comes with a price. Something strange happens when magic sparks: the adventurers standing on the activation plates have swapped bodies! They won't be able to switch back immediately, either, because the ice enchantment has a cool down period. Their options are to either wait it out or go find another room with an unused ice enchantment!

► Adventurers that successfully navigate their way through the maze will find a long corridor leading to a massive shining door. They've found the exit down to the treasure room where riches upon riches are waiting. Money, money, money!!

Guests that let their guard down while walking to the door may end up shot with an arrow! In classic dungeon fashion, holes in the wall open and launch arrows all the way down to the entrance of the treasure room.

Getting shot by an arrow will trigger lust at first sight! Forget about everything else and look at your fellow dungeon crawler. Aren't they so erotic? Don't you really want to fuck them right now and forget about all that treasure? Or perhaps they're still rocking around in your swapped body. Isn't it suddenly tempting to fuck yourself?

TREASURE ROOM

IT DEFINITELY ISN'T CURSED

FLOOR 7: THE BOTTOM FLOOR

The final floor of the dungeon is a massive chamber glittering with precious gems, metals, and enchanted valuables. Piles and piles of gold coins are stacked as far as the eye can see. Treasure chests line the walls, overflowing with sparkling jewelry. Anyone that’s ever wanted to swim in piles of gold can finally make their dream come true.

Guests can take whatever they can carry. They have to make their way back up through the dungeon with it, so hopefully they came prepared!

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► Brave adventurers that managed to come this far deserve worthwhile gains. Those who enter the treasure room are welcome to pick up special treasures from the following selection. None of these items are game breaking, so players can pick up multiple or mix and match.

ECHO STONE: A small stone that fits in the palm of a hand. When tapped, it sends out a soft pulse that outlines nearby exits, hidden passages, or alternate routes in shimmering light.

EARRINGS OF FATE: A matching pair of diamond studs. If shared between two people, the wearers can sense each others’ location all times.

CLOAK OF INVISIBILITY: Shimmering silver fabric as smooth as water. Wearing this cloak grants invisibility.

THONG OF BRONZE: A bronze thong. Wearing this thong increases power, endurance, and speed, but only when worn alone.

RING OF PROTECTION: A simple gold ring enchanted to protect the wearer. While this is useful during battle, it also can act as birth control and prevent sharing diseases.

CLICK LOCK LOCKET: A simple golden heart-shaped locket. The wearer can open the locket and give themselves temporary body modifications for up to two hours at a time.

MECHANICAL MOUSE: A mechanical mouse that registers its master with a drop of blood. A little friend that can scout, transport small items, and fit into tiny spaces.

BRASS COMPASS: A small brass compass with delicate gears. It doesn’t point north. Instead, it points to the carrier's deepest desire or the object they seek the most.

FEATHER OF FLIGHT: A delicate feather that feels lighter than air itself. Grants the ability to fly for a short period but the user must have it in their possession and activate it. Works in bursts, such as allowing them to jump across wide gaps or avoid a deadly fall.

HAND OF LUCK: A small, silver broach shaped like a human hand, fingers outstretched in a gesture of good fortune. The hand grants increased luck to the user, influencing dice rolls, odds, or even the outcome of risky decisions. However, it only works once per day. When it activates it may make other things worse.

► An iridescent door glitters at the back of the treasure room. Written on an aged scroll pinned to the wall is an explanation that this door can send adventurers home. They will have abandon their companions for this opportunity, because one who uses the door must pass through alone. The scroll explains that the door will only work once within a span of several hours, making it impossible for anyone else to immediately use it. There is also the risk that it will never work again.

Of course, the door isn't really sending anyone back to their world. Guests that decide to take the leap will find themselves walking straight into their suite upstairs. The scroll didn't specify which home!

OOC NOTES

INVITES | RESERVES | APPLICATIONS

▶ BLANKET CW: alcohol; altered states; anonymous; aphrodisiacs; BDSM dynamics; body swap; breeding kink; classic tropes; costumes; cum play; dubcon; death; enchantments; erotic plants; erotic monsters; entrapment; hypnotism; noncon; temperature play; traps; weapons; violence; voice kink

▶ All characters on the TDM are WILDCARDS, which means they have not yet been assigned a card value. Suits will not manifest until characters are accepted into the game.

▶ All TDMs are game canon. This TDM acts as the game's November event and is designed to provide content for players through the mods' December break. The marketplace and dungeon will ICly conclude on January 1st.

▶ Current characters may top level on the TDM. Any current characters posting to the TDM should note they are current in their subject header. The top level directory is for new characters only. We want to make sure new characters are prioritized and receive attention!

▶ Smut threads that take place on this TDM can be used for rewards. If both parties in the smut thread join the game, you may retroactively apply the character's initial card values to your 52 bank. If one character does not join the game the thread will not be applicable toward rewards (as that character would not have a card value). The character that does join would still receive a small payout for the encounter. Hopefully it was a fun thread regardless!

▶ We ask you to kindly add content warnings to your threads as appropriate.

▶ If you do not currently have permissions and kinks listed in your character’s journal we suggest leaving a note in your top level of any limits or boundaries for other players to reference.

NAVIGATION • LOG • NETWORK • OOC • MEME

Comments

tseng | ff7r | q◊

[nonvoting]

— a second encounter with mistletoe;
UPPER DUNGEON - FLOOR 1.

Ah—careful.

[ it's a brief, mild warning as tseng comes through a doorway and nearly runs smack into your character. he's been exploring the dungeons, mentally mapping out the locations of various chests and some of the "monsters" that he's encountered, although by now he's aware both that the so-called dungeon monsters are in fact just new arrivals and that the chests don't always drop the same loot when they respawn. still, doing this sort of recon work is his bread and butter, and it helps to keep his skills sharp.

unfortunately, when he tries to take a step back to make room in the doorway—or rather, to allow the other party to step through first—he finds himself with his back pressed to an invisible barrier that seems to encircle the entire doorway. ]

...I see. [ he glances around, then up to spot the sprig of mistletoe above him. there was a plant like this last winter, too, and tseng remembers what it's supposed to do.

wryly: ] You're familiar with this flower?

— ladies and gentlemen, that's bukkake;
UPPER DUNGEON - FLOOR 3.

[ after having avoided contact with the goop that splattered from the slimes tseng took out in the lower dungeon, and having given a wide birth to the water in the pools of sexiness, it's actually almost insulting to tseng that what finally gets him is more or less flower cum.

he's not trying to retrieve it, although he did see the job posting that asked for someone to do so. in fact, tseng is trying not to pay them any mind at all on his way back up to the ground floor of the resort after having spent quite some time exploring the tunnels and chambers below. but just as he's making his way along a narrow path lined on either side by the phallic flowers, something in the distance makes a loud clanging noise—tseng's knuckles brush along the underside of the flower as he draws one knife—and the flower, embarrassingly, jizzes immediately.

it definitely gets on tseng, although luckily it mostly lands on his neck and chest with only a little splattering as far up as his jaw. maybe it also gets on your character, unlucky enough to be caught in the chain reaction prompted by this one flower's unfortunate premature ejaculation. ]

—Ramuh. [ he wipes his face and chin with the back of one hand. ] I'm not sure I want to stick around and find out what this does.

[ or maybe your character runs into him somewhere between the third dungeon and the ground floor, and is interested in helping him out with what's obviously becoming an, er, growing problem? ]

— wildcard & ooc notes;

[ permissions here, kinks here! super open to gen or smut, as well as to wildcards if neither of the above prompts appeal. i am also interested in doing the be emotionally vulnerable or die! prompt but would rather do that with close cr for whom it will actually have an impact, so if that describes you feel free to hmu and we can plot something ehehehe. otherwise i welcome everyone, come at me! ]

floor 1: mistletoe

[swordhardy]

[ While Tseng scouts for the sake of recon, Rokurou scouts for the sake of finding monsters to fight. As a war daemon lacking battle enrichment for months, exploring even an erotic dungeon scratches a long frustrating itch. Hunting mimics on the first floor is both fast and rewarding because they're so silly, popping up in the same spots over and over.

It's during his now-daily mimic crushing routine that he's caught beneath the mistletoe. What had been simply passing some guy turns into slamming into an invisible barrier. Rokurou snorts, nose red, rubbing and turning his gaze onto... a total babe. Then, he follows the man's gaze upward to the cluster of leaves above them. ]

Augh... that? [ he sniffs, ] I've seen it around the resort before. It's decor, isn't it?

[nonvoting]

[ although rokurou's face is familiar to tseng, either from the occasional chirpy posts or just from having seen him around the resort, he doesn't immediately draw the connection between this man and the person he'd spoken to on the two-truths-and-a-lie post not long ago. to be fair, he's more distracted by the mistletoe, which seems to have a similar effect this year as it had last year—is this just a natural part of mistletoe? or another "gift" from the resort?

he sighs wryly and finally lowers his gaze from the flowers to rest on rokurou again. he's good-looking, at least. if tseng is going to have to unexpectedly kiss someone he's at least glad it might be pleasant. ]

Something like that, [ tseng says. ] I saw it last year around this time as well, so I believe it may be seasonal.

[ for the time being, tseng doesn't mention how he'd gotten free of it last year. after all, he can't be sure that tactic will work again, and he doesn't want to suggest making out only to find out that's not what's needed this time around. ]

I take it you're not familiar?

[swordhardy]

I guess I didn't notice it last year...

[ Rokurou scrubs his nape, looking up at the mistletoe with a suspicious squint. Having been in the resort this long, he isn't surprised that a strange plant would cause something annoying to happen, but this time it's a bit inscrutable. It just doesn't want them to leave? Surely there's something else going on with it. He has no plans to turn into a starved skeleton here in this dungeon corridor.

He turns his attention back onto the other man. It seems that they're the same height, because their eyes are level. Brilliant gold meets rich brown and remains there. It's a face he recognizes for similar reasons, though his very recent bid to get a clear picture of the guy who knows Matoba well enough to bid against him has him fresh in his mind. Handsome, masculine, mature. Dark haired and fair skinned. He could be from the Rangetsu clan, if they weren't on their last dredges of black sheep scions. ]

You know what it wants, then?

[nonvoting]

I have an idea. [ tseng flicks another glance up at the offending plant, then returns his attention to rokurou. he feels like he's being assessed, which is interesting; it's now on tseng to figure out why. ] Last time, it held me in place until I kissed someone.

[ and if the pattern holds, well. the invisible barrier around them may just be waiting for them to suck on each other's tongues, or whatever. tseng's gaze drops briefly to rokurou's mouth, considering; he has no objection to the prospect, but it takes two, as they say.

maybe rokurou will be into it too, or maybe he'll want an opportunity to swing his sword around at the barrier a bit first. far be it from tseng to stop him if he wants to try a show of force, so long as he keeps the business end of the blade away from tseng himself. ]

wildcard as discussed~🌺

[aflowers]

[ By the time Tseng lands in the locked room with her, Aerith is annoyed. she's beem trapped in here, alone, for quite a while now, since she dodged that boulder by falling in here. The first hour or so was spent trying to find an exit, the second pacing in frustration. The effort wore her out, and since then she's been sitting down, fiddling with her watch in hope of signal—

She's thinking about starting to look for an exit again when, all of a sudden, she's very much not alone. Relieved, she stands—and then runs to Tseng's side as soon as she recognizes him, crouching down by him as he sits up. ]

Hey, am I glad to see you. This room—

[ BE EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE OR DIE! a voice declares, and Aerith looks at Tseng, wide-eyed, as the walls suddenly spring spikes, and what's more, start to close in on them. ]

—is gonna kill us, apparently!

[ Emotional vulnerability, huh? She can do that, it's not a problem for her, but... where to even start with Tseng, someone with whom she's always had an entirely too-complicated relationship? ]

[nonvoting]

[ if tseng had one gil for every time he's been trapped in a space and threatened with large pieces of metal... he'd have two gil, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice. he hits the ground hard, shoulder-first, and rolls so that at least he doesn't break anything, and when he finally comes to understand which way is up the first thing he sees is aerith's face. surprising—it's been some time since he saw her—but anything tseng might like to say to her is forestalled by the resonant voice that fills the room, issuing an ominous declaration. ]

—Shiva, [ tseng curses under his breath as he forces himself to his feet. he takes aerith's hand and pulls her up, too, drawing her toward the center of the room so they're at least as far as possible from the encroaching spikes.

what a perfect dilemma. being emotionally vulnerable with aerith is likely the most difficult thing tseng could ever be asked to do, second only to letting her die, which is what will inevitably happen if he refuses the room's conditions. after what happened with the heart, tseng doesn't doubt that the house will follow through on its threats.

he looks down at aerith, brows furrowed. ]

I don't... know how to do this with you, [ he finally says. in a way, that admission is in itself quite vulnerable for tseng—albeit not as much as the house wants, most likely. ] I may have to follow your lead.

[aflowers]

[ Tseng takes charge of things while Aerith is still pointing out that the room is going to kill them, dragging her right to the center of the room where they'll be safe for the longest possible time—not that, she notices, they have a lot of it, from the way the walls are moving in on them.

She takes a breath, and there are already words on her lips when he speaks, admitting that he doesn't know how to start. And so, she smiles, and holds both of his hands in hers. She can lead the way, that's fine, even if...

Well. She's already quite open about a lot of things, isn't she? There are very few things that she's kept entirely to herself... and somehow, she has a feeling what it is the house wants her to say to him. ]

That's okay. I can go first. But... [ Her smile falters a little. ] What I'm gonna tell you.. you won't like it, and you're gonna want to ask me about it. But you have to follow my lead first, okay? I don't think this will stop until we've both revealed something.

[ She doesn't wait for confirmation from him. Really, she doesn't think they have the time to wait for it.

(Or maybe the truth is just that she's afraid she'll lose her nerve.) ]

I think I told you once that I'm kind of... enjoying myself, being here. Just trying to take each day as it comes. [ And if she didn't, she's telling him now. ] The truth is.. of course I want to go home to Gaia. But every day I have here is a borrowed one. I..

[ And she pauses, taking a deep, shuddering breath. These words... she's only said them out loud once, and never to someone from home, so—

Damnit, the walls..! ]

I'm... I think I'm going to die, Tseng. No, I'm.. I'm sure I'm going to.

[nonvoting]

[ aerith is right: there are a thousand things tseng wants to say, to ask her immediately on the heels of that revelation. his expression shifts only minutely, but the fact that aerith can see the changes at all is sign enough of how deeply rocked tseng is by that confession. after all, he has spent more than half his life as aerith's guardian, her protector and also her jailer; the idea that he could fail in this task, that aerith might die as a result, feels like an unpleasant wave of nausea coming over him.

without thinking, tseng brings a hand up to cup aerith's face along the soft line of her jaw. in midgar he would never have allowed himself to touch her this way—wouldn't have even allowed himself to consider it a possibility. tseng might have been her protector, but aerith had always been out of his reach, as distant and beautiful as a star. ]

We are going to talk about this, [ he says, instead of any of the thousand questions crowding his lips. they don't have time right now, and it's more important to tseng that aerith lives than that he has his dread assuaged. ] Don't think we won't.

[ he owes her a truth in response, though. she already knows most of the secrets tseng has kept from others—the truth of who he is, what he does, what horrors he's responsible for. she saw fall of the plate and the coup in its aftermath, and probably knows even more than tseng does about what is still yet to come.

but he does have one secret, something he's never admitted to anyone. tseng leans forward enough to press his lips to her ear, so that when he murmurs it's just loud enough to be heard over the grind of stone on stone. ]

I don't think I want to go back to Gaia, [ he admits. it feels like the bottom of his stomach dropping out, like free fall. ] I think—everything in the world I've ever loved is here.

wildcard!

[worldbent]

[Tseng had been an interesting partner to happen upon in the upper dungeon tunnels. What Matoba lacked in physical prowess, this man could certainly shore up, he reasoned, offering his bow and his abilities in exchange. Just what awaited them in these runny tunnels was yet to be seen, but a curiosity either way. And surely, they both come with a quest in mind...]

[But of course, a labyrinth brought with it unknown challenges. And when they'd had to take a leap to dodge the trap they triggered, landing in what seemed to be a holding cell, Matoba expected the spikes, but not the booming voice.]

BE EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE OR DIE!

[Though perhaps he should have.]

Hmm.

[A hum over the din of gears whirring and spikes beginning to encroach. The gaze that swings back to Tseng is calculating, sly, and- frankly- amused. It's no secret between them that Matoba's "trust" only extended as far as either of them felt they could predict the others' priorities- and asking to expose such vulnerabilities was certainly a risk that he might not calculate as worthy.]

[Normally. But, this was an interesting circumstance.] What do you think, Tseng-san? What is "emotionally vulnerable" to you?

[Maybe they can rules lawyer this one.]

[nonvoting]

[ at first, the only response tseng offers is a long-suffering sigh and a pinch of fingertips at the bridge of his nose. this place gives him such a headache sometimes. tseng doesn't doubt that the voice overhead means every word it says, and that the pair of them will indeed end up as mincemeat on the dungeon floor unless they play this little game; what he does doubt is matoba's willingness to go along with it at all. ]

Have you ever found yourself on the business end of a metal skewer? [ tseng asks. if he had a gil for each time... ] I can assure you it isn't enjoyable.

[ at the very least, tseng moves to center himself—and matoba, if he comes along—in the middle of the room, as far as possible from the slowly-approaching spikes. tseng has no fear of death. he's been trained his entire life not to hesitate in front of a bullet or a blade. but if he is going to die, he wants it to at least be in service of something greater than himself, and not for an inability to connect to his own emotions, or whatever.

he brushes a stray piece of hair back out of his face, knocked loose by the plummet from the staircase that brought them down into this particular chamber. to answer the question: ]

To share with another person something that could hurt you and to trust them not to hurt you with it, I suppose, [ tseng says slowly. could it be a matter of sharing secrets? a secret for a secret is a tradeoff matoba would accept, he guesses. ] How would you define it?

[worldbent]

Hmmm. Surprisingly, not.

[Claws, teeth, scythes, swords- many other manners of evisceration, but not the pike in particular. He blinks, and then tilts his head in Tseng's direction.] You have?

[Actually, maybe he shouldn't be surprised by that. He moves along from the point easily and trails after Tseng, not without a curious glance back at the spikes.] Perhaps I could send a servant to inspect the mechanism? Although I doubt they could manage to operate any machinery themselves. Could it be magic? Hmm...

[Much more willing to consider the possibility of stopping the machine than to simply give in to the voice's demands- Tseng was certainly right to worry. But he does glance back at his appraisal with a bit of a nod to his head, deliberation alight in his eye.] Yes... More or less. Giving another the ability to hamstring you.

Ah. [A realization,] Are you going to lecture me on trust again?

[nonvoting]

[ matoba doesn't ask about the particulars and tseng doesn't offer them, although they're not exactly a well-held secret. just something to talk about at another time, when they're a little less in danger of imminent death.

indeed, tseng is unsurprised that matoba's first instinct is to try to dismantle the equipment rather than just do as they're asked, nor is he surprised that matoba immediately and correctly identifies that the behavior isn't earning him any points in terms of tseng's assessment of his willingness to be trusting. still, he only arches an eyebrow at the question and says, ] I'm not a fool.

[ and matoba knows it. tseng isn't in the business of chasing lost causes, which he understands the topic of trust to be. for all that in another world matoba might have made a good turk, matoba is not one of his men, and tseng will temper his expectations accordingly.

he also by now knows that exorcism magic isn't always particularly fast. instead, tseng pushes up a sleeve so he can cast a quick assess spell using the materia affixed to his wristband; unsurprisingly, it has very little new information to offer, but tseng still relays what he sees to matoba: ] The mechanism has no weaknesses that Assess can identify, and it's immune to most types of magic.

[ so that is what it is. tseng blinks away the lingering afterimage of the assess and turns to look at matoba instead. he doubts he needs to express his own opinion of this situation; they both know that the decision is ultimately with matoba. either he chooses to be vulnerable, or they both die. ]

bukkake the musical

[cartographie]

[ Unfortunately for Nami, but not for Tseng, it isn't the chain reaction he's caught up in that gets her splattered. Instead, she ends up in a similar mess, knocking a cluster of flowers with her hip as she swerves to avoid one already shooting its "milk" in all directions, only to get hit with a massive amount of splatter as the dongle flowers appreciate the contact far too much, leaving her bare midsection streaked with the stuff – thanks to the warrior outfit the staff foisted on her before letting her enter the dungeon. ]

Oh, gross.

[ The dongle spooge gets wiped off with her hand, which she shakes off as best as she can, ignoring the flowers left ejaculating in her wake after being hit with residual goo. In fact, she's so determined to pay them no mind, that she's oblivious to the fact that she isn't alone, right up until her attempts to dodge more flower milk send her colliding into Tseng's side instead. ]

Watch it– [ That initial bristle fades in an instant when she recognizes him, her annoyed expression turning almost sheepish as she shakes her head, trying to dismiss the abrupt way they've intersected ] Oh. Tseng. Don't tell me you're trying to milk these things.

[nonvoting]

Absolutely not, [ tseng says, with the faintest wrinkle in his nose to suggest what he thinks of that proposition. listen, he has nothing against accepting side quests, but there's no amount of chips in the world that would get him to jack off a flower. ] I wasn't even trying to touch them.

[ he reaches out to take nami by the upper arm, pulling her out of the way of yet another spurt of flower jizz. intellectually, it's almost impressive how easy these things are to trigger, but even just in that brief touch of his hand to nami's skin tseng can tell that the single splatter that hit him is starting to have an effect, and he's not about to find out what happens if either of them get a double dose. ]

We should get out of here, [ he suggests, doing his best to compartmentalize the beginnings of his physical responses—at least until they're out of immediate danger. ]

[cartographie]

[ The hand he takes her arm with feels good, good in the way that sends those mental alarm bells ringing as the unmistakable reality of being under the resort's headier influence sinks in. ]

We should. [ Nami's heart beats hard against her ribs as she echoes his words and lets herself be guided away from yet another flower in the throes of a messy climax. She breathes out a shaky breath, and gently twists free of his hold, shaking her head at him. ]

That feels too good. We need to move.

[ Before she starts wanting his hands in other places, and for him to be the one leaving cum streaked across the expanse of her breasts, rather than yet another dongle flower after she makes a wrong turn in her attempt to beat a hasty retreat and ends up causing a smaller orgasmic deluge of floral delight. ]

[nonvoting]

[ the little zip of pleasure through nami's nerves manifests as little more than a shiver, but tseng is attuned enough to her that he notices. well, at least he's not the only one in trouble as a result of the flowers, and at least nami is a partner he knows and trusts—there are worse people to be stuck with in a horny dungeon, tseng thinks.

still, she's right that they should move. tseng follows close behind, trying his best to evade the flowers, although it isn't always possible—like nami, he's hit by a couple more climaxes, one that blessedly only dirties his clothes and one that unfortunately gets his throat and collarbones. he'll worry about the effects of those later—for now, tseng is more focused on the clearing he can see ahead, past the clustered flowers, full of soft-looking moss-covered rocks and a pleasantly flowing stream nearby. ]

There— [ tseng points, although he's sure nami saw it already. ] Go on, hurry.

[ at this point he's not sure whether cleaning up will do them any good, but it's better to try than not, he guesses. ]

floor 1: mistletoe

[aertire]

[The brown-haired woman he'd been idly adventuring with and sharing idle chatter seemed to have been on her own reconissance mission, judging from the way that she was taking copious notes on just about everything they saw, writing in a book with a quill pen.

Incidentally an observant man might swear she hadn't been carrying either earlier and her rather short, tight leotard-and-skirt combination seemed to offer no place where she could have possibly hidden them. Odd.

When Tseng stops in place, so does she. She looks up at the sprig and, sure enough, takes up her quill and book, starting to sketch the mistletoe.] No, I can't say I've ever encountered something like this before. What is it?

[She has, by now, stepped completely inside the zone; not that she's noticed anything.]

[nonvoting]

[ tseng is indeed very observant, but also very circumspect; although it doesn't escape his notice that the quill and notebook seem to be appearing and disappearing at will, he doesn't call attention to it. it's clearly not something his companion means to hide, at any rate. ]

I don't recall its name, but it was also present in the resort at this time last year.

[ and last year, it had been much more insistent in cementing tseng's feet to the floor. this time he still seems able to walk around, a theory that he tests with a few steps forward through the doorway and across the threshold. color him disappointed, but not surprised, when he eventually comes face to face with an invisible barrier.

keeping one hand pressed to its surface, tseng slowly circles back to the doorway, finds the place where the barrier meets the wall, and then goes back through the door to find where it continues. it's an unbroken circle, as best he can tell. ]

We're trapped, [ he finally says, sounding resigned. ]

[aertire]

[Raziel sketches the mistletoe some more until she's satisfied with the accuracy of her drawing - if he takes a peek, she's actually quite a competent artist.] Hm... I wonder where it came from? It's certainly, ah, jaunty? There's a festivity about its presentation, especially.

[Wait. What'd he say? She turns back to him, frowning.] Trapped? What do you mean? The door's right-- [Bonk. Ever see a graceful woman plant face-first into an invisible force field? You have now, Tseng.]

[nonvoting]

[ ...well, let it not be said that tseng didn't try to warn her! but he's also not going to stop her from finding out face-first, either, if she wants to test the assertion. his lips press together, but he manages at least to keep most of his amusement off his expression. ]

Trapped, yes. [ sorry about your nose, raziel. ] I had a similar experience last year, but I didn't think it would repeat.

[ now he'll expect mistletoe at every winter holiday... fool him twice, etc. tseng pinches the bridge of his nose briefly. ]

Last year, the solution was to kiss.

wildcard

[paperpusher]

[By now, Natori has figured out how to get the eyes on his unsettling mask to open, but that can only take him so far. It's not particularly unexpected-- the House demands vulnerability, tied up in a backhanded reminder that they already know whatever he might share. But just because something is predictable doesn't mean it's easy.And so: even though it's been a few days, the mask is still stuck on his face just like it has been since the morning of his birthday, from the moment he'd processed what was lying next to him in his too-small bed. Only two of the eyes are open, and they're not the ones at his actual eyeline; instead, it's the one at the bottom near his mouth and then the one immediately above it on the right. Uncomfortably asymmetrical, though it's not impeding his vision any; he's rifling through one of the loot chests without any difficulty, trying to recreate his wardrobe for the third time now and taking the opportunity to grab the most normal-looking clothes he can find.

Thankfully, they've avoided the mistletoe (Natori's mouth is inaccessible, they would have had a very tough time of it); instead, Natori's checking out one of the chests along Tseng's respawn mapping route. This time, he's finally in normal, nondescript clothing, which does make the mask stand out some in comparison. He looks up and over when Tseng comes by-- or at least, he angles the mask towards Tseng to speak.]

Ah, Tseng-san. [Even if Tseng doesn't recognize his voice, the lizard is sitting out on his exposed forearm, Natori's sleeves rolled up to stay out of his way for his looting dungeon crawl. Tseng is a good sport about rolling with all of the weirdness, and Natori's pretty sure that if he were to be extremely blasé about the mask, Tseng would follow his lead, and they could exchange polite small talk without ever addressing it. For a moment of sheer contrarianism, Natori considers doing that, just to spite the hotel for trying to force his hand this way. But he's aware that it'd just be spitting in the wind. Instead, he reaches up to absent-mindedly ruffle his bangs, halfway to the motion before he realizes that they're pushed behind his mask. Annoying.] ...Actually, do you have a minute? I've... received a 'gift' from the House.

[nonvoting]

[ lucky for natori, he's not even close to the most unsettling thing tseng has ever seen in his life, or even in the resort, although that's not to say that the mask isn't weird as hell. he can tell that there's an actual person behind it, and not one of the various denizens of the dungeon, but he doesn't know natori well enough to recognize him by his frame and the way he carries himself—it's only when natori speaks that the lightbulb goes off. ]

Natori? [ the lizard crawls into view, and tseng's guess is confirmed. he is pretty good at rolling with weirdness, so at least to start with tseng doesn't ask about the mask, but he does come around to get a better look at it out of curiosity, and when natori adds the bit about receiving a "gift" he does let his eyebrow lift. ] I can see that. What happened?

[ he does, in fact, have a minute. tseng isn't down in these dungeons on a mission, just exploring and finding what he can find. if there's something he can do to help natori out with whatever he's got going on...

well, tseng still has the pointedly awkward memory of their last encounter living in the back of his mind, but he's not going to let that affect his professionalism. ]

[paperpusher]

Well, my birthday was on the 12th, [he says dryly, pushing himself to his feet and stepping away from the half-looted chest.] I'd heard that the House takes it upon itself to arrange for some sort of celebration. I shouldn't be surprised that it's just stealing something I already own.

[Natori taps the mask where it sits over his temple.]

It's just a display piece from one of the Natori branch houses-- most likely a representation of a significant ayakashi that the house took down. [Not exactly true; it's a display piece, yes, but there's a reason the House likely took this one and not any of the others, even besides the opportunity to count.] But all six of the eyes are supposed to be open. I woke up to find it on my pillow, with the eyes closed, and the next thing I knew it was on my face. I haven't been able to remove it, and I'm guessing it won't come off until I get the rest open. I have an idea of what does it, so...

[Alright. Here goes. He takes one more steadying breath (even now, he can't help slipping in a bit of a performance) and admits:] When we were in that elevator around Halloween, your reflection suggested some... [Will it still work if he's too circumspect about it? Better to be safe.] Edging. If that's something you'd actually like to do, I'd be... interested in giving it a try.

[It's actually a little easier having the mask on; Natori's instincts in moments like these is to avoid eye contact, but it's not as though Tseng can see his eyes. He can keep the mask angled towards Tseng's face and still look over Tseng's shoulder in the middle distance-- he already knows he doesn't need direct eye contact for this to work.

Except... after a beat, he idly touches what should be the next eye to open if they follow the established pattern.]

...It didn't open?

[nonvoting]

I see. Happy belated birthday.

[ honestly, the mask being a birthday gift makes perfect sense to tseng. he's more than passingly familiar with the whims of the house as it relates to their birthdays, or at least the first birthday spent in the resort—and he knows that the house likes to drive people to lengths they might not otherwise reach on their own. there must be some criteria natori will have to meet in order to remove the mask, and judging by the misaligned eyes staring him down tseng suspects that it will involve either opening or closing all of them.

the rest of the explanation only serves to prove tseng right, although his eyebrows climb when natori goes straight from "this is a relic from my exorcist family" to "i'd be interested in trying edging." maybe the mask is pushing him to be more open, more vulnerable?

not that it seems to work. tseng shakes his head once, confirming natori's guess. ]

No, no change. [ tseng considers it for a moment. ] If the point is to be honest about something, either you're not telling the truth or you're not telling enough of the truth.

[ isn't that something. that natori had chosen this topic of conversation at all probably means that he is, and was, interested in what tseng's reflection (and by extension, tseng himself) was suggesting back in the elevator, so what exactly is the problem? ]