【 Thank you for choosing the Golden Peacock, 5-star resort and casino. You are currently registered as a WILDCARD in our system.
Due to a high volume of check-ins, temporary accommodations have been made in our mid-rank suites for all new arrivals. We ask current mid-rank guests to welcome any new arrivals that may temporarily be assigned to their room while we process reservations.
Exciting news! The Phoenix Casino has undergone a renovation. Guests are invited to come enjoy refreshed facilities, games, and lounges. We don't think you'll ever want to leave!
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▶ BLANKET CW: alcohol; anonymous; BDSM; confessions; costumes; dubcon; entrapment; gambling, hierarchy; pet play; power dynamics; public sex; punishment; sex toys; supernatural
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[....Curse his deep attraction to older men giving him orders. Dodger grimaces at first, but his eyes slide half-shut with the hand moving through his hair. The sensation just makes it feel... correct, to give Jayce what he asks for.]
I don't want to... spread that information further than it's already gone.
[He leans back against Jayce's hand, and lets out a quiet sigh as his eyes close.]
I want him to be afraid of me. I want him to be afraid of what I'll do to him if he talks about it. But he's already died here, I can't do worse than that. And his pet heroes will kill me right afterward.
[Jayce tsks, using his fingernails to lightly scritch against Dodger's scalp.]
You're really sounding like you're trying to be a fantasy villain. Next you'll be doing some kind of maniacal laugh.
In the interest of not wanting you dead, please don't kill him. You don't actually want him dead, you want him to stop telling people your secrets- whatever it is. I'm trying not to pry, but you really better not have like... flayed bodies on the walls, or something.
[Dodger hums softly, relaxing into the touch. It's slow, like a dog settling against its will.]
Not here, no.
[It is sort of funny, though, being called a villain. It's been a while, but... it's not the first time. He grew up reading superhero comics, so did the hero he'd been fighting back home.]
I am a villain. And a monster, terrorist, whatever other words people want to use. Trying to be better here doesn't make the trail of blood behind me go away. Doesn't bring back any of the people I killed for money, or just to feel something.
[But in this relaxed state, there is regret in his voice. Quiet resignation, that he's done horrible things for someone who likely didn't care if he lived or died. Someone who might not have even been aiming for the goal Dodger thought he was. It's all pointless and he's probably going to keep losing connections, the more other people learn about the sort of person he is.]
Show me someone who says they're proud of everything they've done and I'll show you a liar.
[Himself included. He doesn't elaborate on that part, though.]
There's no going back for any of us. You're right, the trail doesn't go away. But it can fade if you stop adding to it. That's a choice you have to make, over and over again. It can start any day- it can start now.
[Dodger tips his head, really considering it. He doesn't think it's that simple, he thinks- maybe the reason Esikko makes him so angry is because nothing else does here, and that anger just needs somewhere to go. He can't imagine it actually fading out, he can't imagine who he'd be without the urge to hurt and kill.]
And what if I backslide again?
[He leans back, to properly study Jayce's face.]
I haven't killed anyone since September. But I could start up again. It's easy for me, humans are... fragile. So if I lose my temper, or I piss someone off that won't let me go, or I get hungry and there's nothing else to eat, are you going to tell me I made the wrong choice?
[They're small choices, compared to the sort of terrorism he was doing back home. But he can't imagine he'll find a good reason to bomb the resort. He's worried, more than anything, about the fact that some people don't make a distinction between survival and malice. And he's not above pretending something was self-defense... but well, he just needs to pick at this.]
[Jayce’s brow is furrowed because … well, he doesn’t have the perfect answer. And he’s about to work on a solid defense for Dodger— the difference between self-defense, survival, and murder— but there’s one thing he gets hung up on. Maybe he’s misunderstanding.]
[Hm. So that's the limit, for Jayce. Dodger shrugs, and leans forward to press a kiss to Jayce's neck. A moment of thought passes, and he lets his teeth graze along the older man's skin.]
Jayce is slower to respond this time, that thought still on his mind, his hand eventually sliding to Dodger's shoulder.]
You don't go into wanting to make a change in yourself already finding excuses why you could backslide. Start by telling yourself you're not going to regress.
[Dodger hums softly, and presses one more kiss to Jayce's skin before he actually leans back to answer.]
I backslid once and no one will let me fucking live it down. Fuck me for worrying about it.
[Although it is true, he really hasn't given Jayce the full story.]
...I tried to kill Bloemrose. On Christmas. He started some dumb fucking argument, I took the bait, and then... he blocked me, and I lost my temper. And I just wanted him to unblock me, I just didn't- I didn't want to not be able to message him. Because I needed him. So I went to talk to him and- it went wrong, and he used this spell on me that shut my powers off and it fucking hurt, and-... and I just wanted to slam his head into the wall, as much as it took for him to shut the spell off. But it- if he'd stopped, if he'd let me talk to him, I wouldn't have-...
[He grimaces. He's not actually sure if he would have calmed down.]
...I don't know. It's the first time I lost control since I got here. I don't like feeling the way I do around him, but I don't- I don't want him to just be off-limits forever, either.
[Now this is getting at something Jayce feels more comfortable being able to discuss. There's codependency here, but unlike his form of totally normal and healthy codependency, Dodger's got something else going on.]
You say you need him. Why? You're supporting yourself and you have a wonderful partner.
[They're both finally leaning far enough away from each other they can keep eye contact, and that's vital here.]
Let's say he is off-limits forever. No contact. What does Bloemrose add? What do you lose?
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peacockstop2026-03-15 02:11 pm
no subject
I don't want to... spread that information further than it's already gone.
[He leans back against Jayce's hand, and lets out a quiet sigh as his eyes close.]
I want him to be afraid of me. I want him to be afraid of what I'll do to him if he talks about it. But he's already died here, I can't do worse than that. And his pet heroes will kill me right afterward.
no subject
You're really sounding like you're trying to be a fantasy villain. Next you'll be doing some kind of maniacal laugh.
In the interest of not wanting you dead, please don't kill him. You don't actually want him dead, you want him to stop telling people your secrets- whatever it is. I'm trying not to pry, but you really better not have like... flayed bodies on the walls, or something.
no subject
Not here, no.
[It is sort of funny, though, being called a villain. It's been a while, but... it's not the first time. He grew up reading superhero comics, so did the hero he'd been fighting back home.]
I am a villain. And a monster, terrorist, whatever other words people want to use. Trying to be better here doesn't make the trail of blood behind me go away. Doesn't bring back any of the people I killed for money, or just to feel something.
[But in this relaxed state, there is regret in his voice. Quiet resignation, that he's done horrible things for someone who likely didn't care if he lived or died. Someone who might not have even been aiming for the goal Dodger thought he was. It's all pointless and he's probably going to keep losing connections, the more other people learn about the sort of person he is.]
no subject
[Himself included. He doesn't elaborate on that part, though.]
There's no going back for any of us. You're right, the trail doesn't go away. But it can fade if you stop adding to it. That's a choice you have to make, over and over again. It can start any day- it can start now.
no subject
And what if I backslide again?
[He leans back, to properly study Jayce's face.]
I haven't killed anyone since September. But I could start up again. It's easy for me, humans are... fragile. So if I lose my temper, or I piss someone off that won't let me go, or I get hungry and there's nothing else to eat, are you going to tell me I made the wrong choice?
[They're small choices, compared to the sort of terrorism he was doing back home. But he can't imagine he'll find a good reason to bomb the resort. He's worried, more than anything, about the fact that some people don't make a distinction between survival and malice. And he's not above pretending something was self-defense... but well, he just needs to pick at this.]
no subject
… Get hungry?
no subject
Just a hypothetical.
no subject
[The rest didn't seem like hypotheticals.
Jayce is slower to respond this time, that thought still on his mind, his hand eventually sliding to Dodger's shoulder.]
You don't go into wanting to make a change in yourself already finding excuses why you could backslide. Start by telling yourself you're not going to regress.
no subject
I backslid once and no one will let me fucking live it down. Fuck me for worrying about it.
[Although it is true, he really hasn't given Jayce the full story.]
...I tried to kill Bloemrose. On Christmas. He started some dumb fucking argument, I took the bait, and then... he blocked me, and I lost my temper. And I just wanted him to unblock me, I just didn't- I didn't want to not be able to message him. Because I needed him. So I went to talk to him and- it went wrong, and he used this spell on me that shut my powers off and it fucking hurt, and-... and I just wanted to slam his head into the wall, as much as it took for him to shut the spell off. But it- if he'd stopped, if he'd let me talk to him, I wouldn't have-...
[He grimaces. He's not actually sure if he would have calmed down.]
...I don't know. It's the first time I lost control since I got here. I don't like feeling the way I do around him, but I don't- I don't want him to just be off-limits forever, either.
no subject
You say you need him. Why? You're supporting yourself and you have a wonderful partner.
[They're both finally leaning far enough away from each other they can keep eye contact, and that's vital here.]
Let's say he is off-limits forever. No contact. What does Bloemrose add? What do you lose?