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peacockstop2025-09-15 09:00 pm
goldmods) wrote in peacockstop2025-09-15 09:00 pm
Entry tags:
TDM 011
【 Thank you for choosing the Golden Peacock, 5-star resort and casino. You are currently registered as a WILDCARD in our system.
We are thrilled to announce that the Golden Peacock will be embracing autumn with a special outing. Current and new guests are invited to join us for a refreshing outdoor experience where participants can unplug, unwind, and connect with nature. During this time, all Watches will be disabled to the most basic functions (texting, calls, checking chip account) in order to encourage guests to disconnect.
Please look forward to two weeks of finding yourself amongst the trees. We hope you enjoy your stay, and have a fan-CAMP-stic time. 】
CAMPING
GETTING OFF THE GRID
As the resort moves into what it claims is autumn, the days grow shorter. The projected sun in the Vale sets in the afternoon, after which a faint chill falls. Then there’s the most excessive transformation of all – a portion of the Vale has transformed into a campground complete with a scenic lake, seemingly overnight. Statues nearby have been dressed up with flannel jackets and suspenders. Folksy banjo fills the air without any discernible source.
A section of the campgrounds have been reserved for tents. These tents vary in size, shape, and supplies. All tents, regardless of quality, are supplied with sex toys and lube. Staff and long-standing guests all agree — pretending to live in the wilderness and 'rough it' for a while is thrilling. This is what the peasants feel like all the time!
A section of the campgrounds have been reserved for tents. These tents vary in size, shape, and supplies. All tents, regardless of quality, are supplied with sex toys and lube. Staff and long-standing guests all agree — pretending to live in the wilderness and 'rough it' for a while is thrilling. This is what the peasants feel like all the time!
HOME ON THE RANGE
Welcome to the Peacock Campgrounds! Nicknamed the Stomping Grounds by long-standing guests. Rustic and right off a sparkling lake, guests will find everything they need to live in the wilderness. Staff have expertly set up fire pits, benches, hammocks, and a wooden shed to act as a tool depository. There's even an outhouse, which is a real novelty to many of the long-standing guests. Do they just... squat over that hole and do their business? How wild!
Unlike previous resort-sponsored excursions, guests are expected to manage without the help of staff. That pile of wood won't be replenished once used; guests will have to go chop down trees and split their own. Food won't magically appear in their tents regardless of rank. Camping is all about living off the land. Though staff make themselves scarce to make the experience feel real, they lurk in the shadows, discreetly providing necessary tools and fixing broken equipment so guests won't struggle too much. It isn't fun if it's real hardship, after all!
Unlike previous resort-sponsored excursions, guests are expected to manage without the help of staff. That pile of wood won't be replenished once used; guests will have to go chop down trees and split their own. Food won't magically appear in their tents regardless of rank. Camping is all about living off the land. Though staff make themselves scarce to make the experience feel real, they lurk in the shadows, discreetly providing necessary tools and fixing broken equipment so guests won't struggle too much. It isn't fun if it's real hardship, after all!
ACTIVITIES
TWO WEEKS OF ROUGHING IT
Camping can't be all about survival. Where's the fun in that? Before 'leaving', the staff arrange activities and events for guests to enjoy. A wooden bulletin board outlines times for group hikes, camping experiences, and wilderness delights. Adirondack chairs line the edge of the lake and a few tire swings hang over the water, tied to strong tree branches. For the first week and a half the weather is pleasant and sunny. Perfect for camping.
At night, acoustic guitars and other wooden instruments come out so that guests can make music around the bonfire. Projected stars dapple the night sky, forming various constellations sourced from guest worlds. The moon enters a different phase each night, shining a gentle silver across the campgrounds. Why not pull your sweetheart in and cuddle beneath the night sky? It's so romantic.
At night, acoustic guitars and other wooden instruments come out so that guests can make music around the bonfire. Projected stars dapple the night sky, forming various constellations sourced from guest worlds. The moon enters a different phase each night, shining a gentle silver across the campgrounds. Why not pull your sweetheart in and cuddle beneath the night sky? It's so romantic.
HOWLING
CALL OF THE WILD
Temperatures drop drastically at night as the camping excursion nears its end. Nights become so chilly that morning dew frosts over, crunching beneath guest feet. Every day the light and its warmth set a little bit earlier. Staff remain elusive and do not provide warmer blankets or clothes for guests, leaving them to cuddle for warmth or find other ways to sleep comfortably during nightly cold snaps.
The moon hits its apex on the final night of camping. Unlike the other nights, this full moon shines blood red. The Vale stills under this ominous sign, silent. Snowflakes begins to fall, spreading an endless clean sheet across the campgrounds. That reflected pink hue is inescapable.
The moon hits its apex on the final night of camping. Unlike the other nights, this full moon shines blood red. The Vale stills under this ominous sign, silent. Snowflakes begins to fall, spreading an endless clean sheet across the campgrounds. That reflected pink hue is inescapable.
OOC NOTES
▶ BLANKET CW: altered states; eyes (descriptions only, incl. eye injury); exhibitionism; hunting (incl. hunting fantasy creatures); orgies; public sex; survival; temperature play; tentacles; transformation; violence
▶ All characters on the TDM are WILDCARDS, which means they have not yet been assigned a card value. Suits will not manifest until characters are accepted into the game.
▶ All TDMs are game canon. This TDM acts as the game's September event. Camping will ICly begin September 15th and end October 3rd.
▶ Current characters may top level on the TDM. Any current characters posting to the TDM should note they are current in their subject header.
▶ The top level directory is for new characters only. We want to make sure new characters are prioritized and receive attention! If you would be interested in a game invitation, you can note that in your comment header.
▶ Smut threads that take place on this TDM can be used for rewards. If both parties in the smut thread join the game, you may retroactively apply the character's initial card values to your 52 bank. If one character does not join the game the thread will not be applicable toward rewards (as that character would not have a card value). The character that does join would still receive a small payout for the encounter. Hopefully it was a fun thread regardless!
▶ We ask you to kindly add content warnings to your threads as appropriate.
▶ If you do not currently have permissions and kinks listed in your character’s journal we suggest leaving a note in your top level of any limits or boundaries for other players to reference.
▶ All characters on the TDM are WILDCARDS, which means they have not yet been assigned a card value. Suits will not manifest until characters are accepted into the game.
▶ All TDMs are game canon. This TDM acts as the game's September event. Camping will ICly begin September 15th and end October 3rd.
▶ Current characters may top level on the TDM. Any current characters posting to the TDM should note they are current in their subject header.
▶ The top level directory is for new characters only. We want to make sure new characters are prioritized and receive attention! If you would be interested in a game invitation, you can note that in your comment header.
▶ Smut threads that take place on this TDM can be used for rewards. If both parties in the smut thread join the game, you may retroactively apply the character's initial card values to your 52 bank. If one character does not join the game the thread will not be applicable toward rewards (as that character would not have a card value). The character that does join would still receive a small payout for the encounter. Hopefully it was a fun thread regardless!
▶ We ask you to kindly add content warnings to your threads as appropriate.
▶ If you do not currently have permissions and kinks listed in your character’s journal we suggest leaving a note in your top level of any limits or boundaries for other players to reference.
no subject
[How to prepare plants. He can't see the prince cooking for himself back home. Too much freedom given to someone normally on such a tight-bound leash.]
This place's tech must've blown your head open. [All the technology advances, fires purely for entertainment rather than survival, ready food without much preparation needed, stores instead of markets, the list goes on.]
no subject
It's the mention of tech that earns a breath almost like a laugh, chopsticks dropping back to poke at the leaves of his salad a little. )
It did. It still does, sometimes, honestly. There are things I still learn here and there and wonder how I ever did it before. Like, the fact that I can message you so quickly!
( Calling for help, saying hello, sending his thoughts. All of that used to be done by letter, take days, or weeks, or months in some conditions. Not to mention, when he was on the run, there wasn't any way to check on if his family was truly all gone or not... He hums thoughtfully. )
Is there anything convenient you have at home that isn't here? Hiyori once told me about "cell phones" as something similar to the Watch.
no subject
Hmph. A lot of technology was created trying to replicate magic and fiction with science. [Enchanted mirrors allowing two people to communicate over long distances. A handheld spellbook producing information on demand. The intense desire to somehow relegate monotonous chores and actions to some magical device instead. Esikko can probably appreciate the comparison.]
Aa, we have mobile phones in my world. We also have robots and holograms, but they aren't common items. These watches are similar to smart watches in my world.
no subject
( There's a long pause as Esikko hums in thought and considers that information. Technology replacing or replicating magic— he can understand that fairly well. In the middle of a kingdom going through quite a bit of violent modernization, it was a little hard to get behind the idea of technology. But it's convenient, he can't deny, and there are parts of it that benefit everyone. He's aware of that much.
After a long stare at the fire while eating some salad, he lowers his plate to his lap, chopsticks still tucked between the fingers of his left hand. )
That sort of rapid increase in technology was being shoved down our throats, where I'm from. At the expense of tradition, or memory, or culture, or land... Plenty of other kingdoms were crowding around my family and urging us this way and that. I hated the sort of changes I saw, back there.
But here, it's just convenient. ( He tilts his head a little. ) I suppose it helps that I wasn't here to see what was lost for the sake of this change, right?
no subject
He finishes his salad and sets the plate on his knee in perfect balance, then leans forward and tugs one of the skewers from the fireside. Hot, but not enough to burn his fingers. Then again, he has some resistance. Esikko's going to either get the pieces Bakugo pushes off the skewer or he'll be given a hot pad if he wants to grab his own from the firepit.]
Aa. Technology doesn't usually have room or need for sentimental stuff. [Tradition, memory, culture, land, all of it gets sacrificed in the name of progress and innovation.] Most people in my world don't write letters anymore unless it's tradition. [Their U.A. letters were printed on paper and delivered rather than handwritten. Understandable, since hand writing so many letters would be crazy.]
Haa? Bullshit! If we knew how this place changed, we'd have more information on how it works! [Always looking to stick it to the resort.]
no subject
I meant that it's less personal, to see technology here, you know. ( Calmly, over the rim of his mug, he glances over. ) Of course I'd want more information.
( There were those letters, a while back, he recalls... Information on people who had been in the resort for quite some time. Then there was that eyeball he just saw in the caves, and that heart that a handful got to see, and the roots he yanked up himself... But it's true they don't have much "history" to work off of here. )
Do you think this place is in a real "space?"
( It's a question out of nowhere, he realizes, and so he watches Bakugo carefully, fingers of one hand running around the edge of his mug. ) I always imagined it as some sort of "in-between." Though perhaps that's because we've rarely ever seen true outdoors, here.
The boat may have been different, but I was too busy being seasick to really focus on if it was anything real.
no subject
Huh? Why the hell's it any less personal seeing it here? [While the resort's technology is more removed from Esikko, he isn't seeing his own world changing due to technological advances, he's witnessing result and evolution to the face. And interacting with it constantly. Pretty damn personal.]
Aa. [Always ready to talk about the resort, as much as he hates it. He's used to having his beliefs challenged, though no one has any concrete evidence to prove their theories over his own.] This thing exists in its own dimension, world, realm, whatever the fuck you wanna call it. Even that damn ocean was created by the resort.
We're inside it. And some day, we're gonna rip it open and leave this fucking place whether it wants us to or not.
no subject
He accepts the plate with a quiet thanks, considering the House, instead. This, he thinks, anyone can understand. They're all stuck here, and even the ones who don't want to go back home can agree on a mutual enemy. He's sure he imagines the burning feeling at his neck where that transgressor mark lies, but he rolls his head a little all the same to address it, picking up a piece of meat. )
We're in the belly of some beast. ( So, he agrees. A different realm is what he's always thought, too, from what he's found. But the realm... does it expand past the House? He can't tell. )
But we haven't been dissolved yet. So, you're right. ( With a little curve of his lips that almost hints at a smile, he pops the meat into his mouth. And after: ) I can't wait for the chance to get back to a real plan.
Mm, but don't worry. I'm laying low, for now.
no subject
Aa. It uses us for sustenance and entertainment. [He spits the last word in annoyance before swallowing down his bite. And chomps the rest of his potato chunk from its clinging place. Pretty damn sure the resort isn't hanging out in someone else's world. Likely residing in its own to avoid getting noticed as it pilfers from other dimensions and worlds.]
But it keeps sending people home and bringing in new victims. [Suggesting it's picky or has some reason to throw perfectly good "food" away. Most people do what it wants; getting rid of someone who refuses to cooperates the only way ditching someone makes sense.] The heart was the last big piece of information we got.
no subject
( Some are sleeping around actively before they vanish, others fade out. Some are problematic and full of digging into things, others behave like good little guests. Some feel satisfied, others hate it here. He's tracked details on as many disappearances as he could get notes on in that journal of his, but all it's told him is that it's up to some sort of invisible fate, or random choice, which irritates him to no end.
He frowns around a bite of meat, eyes steadying down on his own plate. )
That troubles me the most, you know. Not being stuck here, in my case— being sent back, when I want to stay here and find a path elsewhere.
( Or turning into a statue, being made worthless. It's why he wants so badly to get back into poking around, but he knows well that Dabi's caution about it is warranted. He's already got a branding, and he doesn't want to lose too much. )
Annoying...
no subject
They won't get an answer unless the fucking bird decides to speak.]
I don't think the House is going to send people different places. [Again, Bakugo knows it's not an answer or thought Esikko wants, but there are far too many people here from the same world who haven't seen anything like random show-ups from other worlds or dimensions. The resort doesn't seem to go about messing with worlds in detectable ways... As much as he wants to break the place open and rip out its secrets, he also doesn't want to get himself wrecked, or those he cares about either.]
As long as we get home...
no subject
( There's an intensity in those words that Esikko normally doesn't draw up in front of Bakugo, angry and fired up in a way he normally prefers to keep to himself. Like this isn't a choice, like he doesn't care if fate or reality or anything else tries to stop him— he's altered that sort of thing before, countless times. )
I'm not going back there.
( There's a gentle shake of his tone with those words that betrays his intensity— lined with the feeling of I'll die trying to change that myself like the bite of ice in a blizzard— that it triggers the sort of desires so deeply hooked into his death's punishment. His utensils clatter back into the plate that he sets aside, fingers rushing to pinch at the bridge of his nose, like that might keep him grounded. But a foreign drowsiness presses down at him like the winds of a storm, and he struggles past the overwhelming urge to shut his eyes. No, not now, he's fine, he doesn't need to sleep, they were eating, talking— he doesn't want to drag him into this, god damn it.
Bakugo might feel that strange pull, like even just sitting near Esikko is a risk to be drawn into something— but the prince is pinching harder at his bridge, shaking his head, breath escaping him in an irritated huff. )
Just— ( His free hand reaches out towards Bakugo, unsure of which request he wants to leave his mouth first. Pinch me, touch me, do something, I don't know— He's hoping that some sort of contact will keep him out of a dream. Nothing follows, though, as he's too focused on everything he can to stay awake. The taste of the meat, the warmth of the fire, the sounds of the woods, the sight of his own palm half covering his face... )
no subject
Are you always going to-- Hn? [Whatever question he had dies on his lips when metal resounds on ceramic and Esikko goes for his face. He leans forward, muscles bunching beneath his skin in a spring coil, ready to move and act the second its needed. Looking from place to place, his nose bridge to his hand to his chest to anywhere else on Esikko which might be priming to break down or tear up. Right, he mentioned there were things happening to him now. Sleep, dreams, inescapable drowsiness preceding a slumbering capture. Bakugo jets his skewer end into the ground near the fire, free hand curling as sparks pop and crack around his palm. Fully ready to smash one into Esikko if if it means taking him out of his potential curse.
Just-
Fuck this. *KA-BOOM!* Heat blasts across Esikko's face, as if he stepped into a sudden desert. Light flares up, snapping pain through his retinas. Resounding crack of detonation knocking his ears for a loop. No, he didn't smash one into the man's face, but igniting a large enough blast to rattle Esikko and the woods around them. Smoke plumes from his hand as he grabs Esikko by the jaw, pungent scent of burnt sugar rushing into the prince's nose.] Oy! Don't make me blast you through the fucking woods!
no subject
Not just warmth, but heat at his face, and a blinding light that forces his eyes back open from how they'd drifted shut. The sound is loud, drawing him out of the blizzard of his memories, into the garage— no, by the campfire, he was by the campfire— and his body moves on reflex and fear, the same hand that had been reaching out for Bakugo now snapping up to grab at the wrist of the grip on his jaw. His other hand pulls back, fingers curled into palm like he means to shake Bakugo off in some way.
But recognition only takes a few seconds to settle in, past the uneven pounding of his heart, and a few blinks fill the silence of his shaky breath before his grip loosens considerably. )
I-I'm awake.
( It's so shocking it makes him angry, at first, swatting that hand away from his face— but he knows that's what Bakugo had to do to be certain he'd stay awake. Now his body doesn't feel threatened by the pull of that dream, too pumped full of adrenaline from a brief rush of fear. Ugh, it's like nearly falling asleep and then your body jolting from a fall... )
no subject
Esikko looks pretty funny starting like that, arms up and head jerking away out of sheer shock. Cold fingers snap around his wrist, holding him in attempt to pull him off or at least get a physical grip on himself. Esikko succeeds at the latter, but not the former. Not until Bakugo lets go on his own terms. That'll surge the prince's adrenaline for another several minutes. Raising questions about how tonight's going to work. They're sleeping together, and he has no intention of sitting guard over the prince's head, ready to blast his pretty pink crown the moment he starts feeling weird.]
No shit. [Very awake. He sits back on the wood and pulls his skewer from the fire pit to continue eating.] What were you thinking about? I need to know what I'm gonna prepare for tonight.
no subject
( Weird. It feels weird, now, watching Bakugo cool down after all of that and go right back to eating, feeling his heart pounding in his own chest and a mix of nausea and hunger fighting to take control. Shame burns the brightest, an embarrassing sting that echoes with the question of what were you thinking about? as he struggles to focus on what, exactly, it was.
He feels tense, now. Embarrassed, ashamed, kind of like he wants to stomp away and crawl into a hole— but he doesn't, not actually, and so he lets out a breath instead, indicating his thinking on the question rather than just ignoring it. )
That I don't want to go back there. ( That's not all, that's not the heart of it, and he knows as much with that same heat of shame coiling inside of him. ) I've talked about it with Dabi, before.
( His plan. That reckless idea of following Dabi to his world, knowing absolutely that he'd find himself too aware of the two people he cares the most about on opposite sides of a mess, that he'd risk even the attempt of doing it with his body as frail as it is. It sounds like a child's dream to say out loud, and so he doesn't fully want to... but he should at least get closer to the point of his feelings, here, if he's going to be troubling Bakugo with his presence. )
I suppose I was thinking... "I don't want to be alone." Or something. ( God, he feels like he's going to hurl from emotions while staring at this fire, just end him here. ) Either I find a way to go somewhere else, or I die trying. That's all.
no subject
Should he have asked what was on the prince's mind? Yes, if he's expected to contend with some kind of shit tonight during sleep. Prepared to obliterate haunting memories or troublesome thoughts trying to ruin Esikko's slumber or screw over his own. End it quickly, go right back to sleep.]
You really hate your life back home, huh. [Murmured along his breath, words carrying flavor of smoked meat and potatoes before swallowing down their origins. Esikko's never spoken a positive word of his homeworld. No wonder he wants to stay here. He only grunts in acknowledgement. Of course Esikko's spoken to Dabi about it; there's little the prince hasn't with him.]
Where would you go? And don't give me some bullshit "anywhere" answer. [Heroes are supposed to give people hope, they reach out and encourage those troubled and suffering, even going so far as to speak idyllic words which might fly in the face of reality and be called delusions by cynical minds. So what happens when a hero's faced with a stark fact, cold in his hand and unable to be refuted by all logical sense?
Esikko can't stay dead. He can "die trying" forever regardless of whether he succeeds or fails. Even if he manages to find a life with others... he'll restart the next one back at the beginning.] I'll be seeing it tonight in your dreams.
no subject
( He pauses as he considers how to phrase his thoughts, fingers twitching against the edge of the tea he lifts again. Carefully, slowly, he focuses on that warmth. )
I hate that sort of mindset. Giving up, moping, curling up and waiting for it to be over. It's pathetic. So the more I felt that way, the more I stubbornly tried to carve my own sort of place in a world that didn't want me alive. It's unfair, so I don't want to accept it. Maybe that's childish of me.
( His fingers curl around the edges of the mug, holding it against his lips without taking a drink just yet. Even just hearing Bakugo's words highlighting the risk of him entering dreams with him makes him worry, makes him feel sick. They've been so centered around memories, warped or otherwise, forcing him to think about things he wants to leave behind him, dragging others into it. )
...I'll tell you where I've been planning to go, but you can't laugh. ( As if this is a time for laughing, but he's clearly bothered at sharing it, for some reason. ) Your world. Dabi's, you know. I've been thinking of it since I tried to get us all a way back the first time. If I could just enter quietly on my own, without troubling anyone, then maybe I could make my own space in a place not chained by that spell in another realm.
It's worked here, after all.
( His death didn't make him restart. )
I have nothing to lose that wouldn't already be lost by doing nothing.
no subject
[His expression twists in anger, mirroring the heat in his voice. So many villains in his world used their own personal pain, shortcomings, frustrations, and bullshit to "excuse" their villainous actions towards others. Their world would be much safer (and sadder) if those people simply offed themselves instead of blasting into public life to destroy and maim.]
Hmph, at least your version of carving wasn't gouging it out of others to make yourself feel better. [Grumbled into his food as he tears a chunk from the skewer with an alligator-like chomp and yank of his head. He knows Esikko's done some shitty things in his life, here and back home, but as far as he's aware, the man isn't siphoning life from others to power his magic or life resets. Could say more about those resets, but... nothing can be done about it now.
Bakugo already factored in the risks and dangers of being around Esikko right now. Warned of the dream world siphon, how he pulls people into his slumber, easily could have rejected the prince for a safe sleep. He did none of that, but instead met the challenge head on from the start and told the man to stay with him for the entire week. What kind of shitty hero is afraid of a stupid dream? He'll take that fantasy world and crush it in his hand, until Esikko's able to sleep peacefully!]
Spit it out. [He already has a very good guess. Idyllic and foolish in one hope. Doesn't surprise him Esikko's uncomfortable answering him. Is he jealous of his and Dabi's world, their lives? Probably. Does he think going to their world will somehow be better than the one Esikko came from? Probably. Magic doesn't exist in the world of heroes; would that mean the power keeping Esikko alive would abruptly vanish as soon as he carried over, and he'd pay for each of his "lives" redone by permanent death? Questions none of them have an answer to. His brows furrow as his mind races, jaws working his food within his cheeks.]
Set up a flower shop after the war's over. Northern Japan would suit you; it's similar to the weather from your world.
no subject
( Emotions are so complex, aren't they? How do so many people navigate them so easily? So normally? Esikko feels like he's adapted so much in this place compared to at home, watching others and learning as best as he can, but...
He feels Bakugo's effort in recommending something for him. The warmth of him encouraging it in that small way, rather than telling him it's stupid. He feels grateful, relieved, happy. But some deeper part of himself twists selfishly wanting more, wanting the unreasonable, wishing for an involvement that isn't possible or realistic. The dramatic whiplash between the two is nauseating and confusing, and he breathes out softly as he picks up another chunk of meat with his utensils. )
I wouldn't mind it less cold. ( Quietly, around a bite of meat, which he finishes before adding more. That stupid pang of longing— is it induced by the House, or just encouraged? Worsened, or left the same? He doesn't even know. )
But a flower shop sounds nice, doesn't it? Come buy some flowers, then, when I do.
no subject
[He understands Esikko's speaking in the past tense, but Bakugo's never been one to hold back his opinions. Thoughts like Esikko's don't leave forever. They come back, hoping for acceptance, for surrender, for victory. If he thinks Bakugo's gonna sit by and watch someone he cares about replace pieces of himself with someone else... He'll punch his fucking chimera so damn hard!
There's so much about Dynamight and Dabi's world he could tell Esikko. So much he could warn him about. So much he could point out is completely illogical with the man's wish. But... even as walls crash around them in pieces and water rushes in from below, a hero will still look to the child clinging on his leg and tell them "It's all right." Heroes say idyllic things, stupid things, white lies, because a hero's duty is to protect. Bakugo's put people down and slammed reality into faces so many times. But... Esikko doesn't deserve to get his legs kicked out from under him for no reason. They all have to believe in a goal outside this place. Or else, none of them are getting back home. Why settle for mediocre when the impossible looms overhead?
He understands what Esikko wants. What his mind's twisting himself between in his skull. Maybe he'll face the very maelstrom tonight. Crack his knuckles, and save his beatdown for that asshole instead.]
Then move south. [Japan has a lot of different climates. Esikko's got his pick. He finishes his skewer, slings it spike-first into the sand, and picks up another.] What kind are you gonna have?
no subject
Maybe it's the recent death stirring his insecurities. The fear of losing everything that he has before it can become all that he wants. Maybe it's some sort of twisted self-punishment for all the reflection he's done on his own past actions, as if that would make any difference. Maybe the House is just fucking with him. Or maybe, and he thinks this is probably it, maybe he's just that broken, that fucked up, that he can't help but be stopped short of his own enjoyment of what he's always wanted.
But it doesn't feel like his, doesn't feel like it should be, and he doesn't know how to deal with that, yet. Bakugo spent all that effort making this food for him and he's barely managed even half of it. Embarrassing, shameful, irritating all at once. He doesn't want Bakugo to have to see his dreams, his nightmares, his memories— he does, but he doesn't, when they're so ugly, and when he freezes up like this trying to think of what to do next. The thought of "maybe I shouldn't have come here" feels so lonely, but his anxiety keeps it there, digging into his heart like a knife.
In the end, in his own uncharacteristic silence, he leans his weight a little to the side, until he bumps his shoulder gently against Bakugo's arm. The distance is enough it might jostle him a little, but he's just leaning, not asleep, not fallen, his plate and mug all set aside again. )
Plenty, of course. ( In those quiet words, he curls his metaphorical fingers around this desire even when it feels undeserved. Not a full grip, not so much as to start listing off flowers, but a touch all the same, even if everything is telling him to run away, to say he'll be back and wander off alone for a while. He doesn't think that would be good for the strange pangs he's dealing with, either. ) Which part do you live in?
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Esikko's doubts likely plague him; he sees the glimmer in his eyes dim and what was a momentary brilliance of hope in his smile quietly slides backwards. A hand extended and after a sudden pause, reconsiders while drawing back. He recognizes it. Easily. Broken, fractured, hurt, fucked up, his own worst enemy... How many people has he seen struggle against their own chains? How often has he looked at his own hands and pulled the tethers on his arms, each link his own making. Heroes so often try to reach and help break those people free of their chains, yet often ignore their own. Who would trust a hero to free them if the hero in question's shackled himself? Esikko draws back... and he could let him. Wouldn't be a problem.
But Bakugo's a hero. He already readied himself for whatever the prince's presence will bring tonight. There's no way he's letting him retreat back into his shitty little self-pity pool and cut off his own feet because he thinks he doesn't deserve to walk in the grass. A shoulder bumps into his arm and he glances to the side, red eyes lingering on sakura pink listing towards his own shoulder. Doesn't shrug him off, but rather lets Esikko stay and rest without fear.]
I said what kind, not how much. [Picking him for the details. Name the flowers, list them off, describe them, don't shut the damn door when he's still looking inside, idiot. He's not going to allow Esikko his flee.] South central. Japan curves like this. [And proceeds to use the empty skewer to draw an impressive outline of his nation in the sand by the fire. Then pokes the tip into his home prefecture.] Near the ocean.
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And he thinks he should give it a try, at least this once, just depending on that. Relying on it. As he pokes his own "home" into the makeshift map, Esikko relaxes a little further into his lean, humming a bit. )
Then obviously I want to go there, too.
( The world itself isn't the appeal of his journey, here, isn't the hope he's tying himself to. If that wasn't clear enough. But he continues thinking, backing up to those words just moments ago, the idea of a flowershop, of a different life. And even if he were to assume he couldn't use his blood, that nothing would translate, he has plenty of ideas. )
I'd like a shop of requests. Plants to solve needs, you know? Someone who stops by for a bouquet for a spouse's birthday is one thing, of course, but another who might have trouble sleeping, I'd have the solution for.
( Horticulture at its finest, unique uses of plants not everyone knows. But— leaning further into this scary path of imagining, of hoping, he speaks again. )
But the one I want to grow first... Red camellias. ( For so many complex reasons in their meaning. The symbol of perseverance, the blooming in the winter, the desire to embody all that they do, delicate and graceful and strong. Silly, it's so silly, his cheeks feel a little pink. But he's too leaned for his face to be in focus, so it's fine, isn't it? ) And after that, with their green leaves year round, I'd grow what was needed, or wanted. You know?
And if no one stopped by at all, I'd send you so many flowers it would make you furious. Then, you'd have to tell all your friends to come by, to get me to stop.
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Telling someone not to be afraid is only one half; taking their hand and leading them is the other. Why the hell should Esikko be left to fear his dreams? So many dreams seem impossible, stupid, ridiculous. Yet he never let their imposing figures intimidate him. Red eyes linger on Esikko's little map dot indicating his proverbial home in a world away from his own.]
Hmph. You're gonna fucking wilt in the summer. [Mild taunting at best. A smirk cracks cross his lips, his mind plays images of Esikko's soaked figure dripping in sweat and sagging clothes, hair a complete sodden mess full of brine, everything's goopy as he complains about the heat and humidity. Fucking hilarious. He'll be living next to a fan or fridge in hot months. Nothing's wrong with playing in the future. With enough commitment and drive, even one person can change the world.]
You wanna run an apothecary? [Meat splices between his teeth and he jerks his head like a shark tearing food from the spine. Running around all day getting his campsite set up left his stomach growling.] Hmph, people are gonna come to you for a shitload of needs. Better be ready for some stupid ones. [From marital problems to bedroom trouble.]
You should name your store that. [Not only for growing them, but for the meanings Esikko knows well. He can strive to run his store and grow it in the same way. Living up to the name of his emblematic flower. It won't be easy, holding up his namesake's reputation and meaning, but he believes the prince would succeed. He's already conquered so much in his life(s).]
Haa?! You're gonna threaten me with flower deliveries?! [First time someone's ever done that. Fuck.] I'll cram so many customers down your throat, you'll be begging for seed from other stores!
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