TDM 007

[goldmods]

【 Thank you for choosing the Golden Peacock, 5-star resort and casino. You are currently registered as a WILDCARD in our system.

Due to a high volume of check-ins, temporary accommodations have been made in our parking garage for all new arrivals. We aim to have all guests moved into their reserved rooms as soon as possible. We deeply apologize for any inconvenience!

All are invited to There Is No Tomorrow, a Phoenix Casino soiree to celebrate our beloved guests. The festivities will begin at 1800 hours on January 20th and end at 1800 hours on January 27th. Please look forward to 168 hours of delight.

In an effort to raise happiness and encourage better guest relationships, attendance is required. The house will assist guests that are too shy to appear of their own accord. Please note that black tie attire is mandatory. As always, we hope you enjoy your stay! 】

PARKING GARAGE

ANY CAR IN A STORM

WELCOME TO THE GOLDEN PEA... CAR?

► Thanks to a classic move called “overbooking,” new arrivals aren't being checked into rooms — the front desk and concierge have made an executive decision to temporarily house new arrivals in the parking garage. This may actually not be as bad as one may think! All of the vehicles in the Golden Peacock's garage are luxury; some are even bigger than the basement suites. There are, however, a limited number of cars available. Guests are booked into cars in pairs or sets of three.

► All vehicles in the Golden Peacock's parking garage are top of the line models. While the body style and year vary, their common denominator is that they are expensive. New arrivals may wake up in any kind of luxury vehicle from a zippy little Maserati to a SUV limousine. Guests waking up in larger, party-style vehicles may find the inside bar stocked with booze and snacks. Due to the nature of waking up in cars, they may wake up anywhere in their new ride. Even the trunk!

► New arrivals wake up naked save for a robe, as is standard for the Golden Peacock. This round’s robes are dramatic sets bedazzled with precious gems. These robes are inspired by the 1920s. Some are silk, some are sheer, some are lined with fur. All are over the top. If it has the flavor of old Hollywood or wealth your character can wake up in it. Some lucky guests may even find old fashioned smoking pipes or extended cigarette holders in their robe pockets.

► After briefly being dumbfounded, the valet, who normally has nothing to do, will scurry down with a few racks of clothes. All articles on the racks have been dragged out of storage; the majority of the pieces are old-fashioned or mismatched. All he can do is continue to bow deeply and apologize for the lack of amenities in the parking garage. No one ever comes here!

SUITES DON'T DO THIS!

► The cars in the parking garage are temperamental. Guests may find doors locking and unlocking of their own accord when they're trying to exit the vehicle. When inside with someone else, the radio will change to a channel playing romantic music. The lights will flicker, dim, or turn off to create some sexy ambiance. They've been in the parking garage for a long time and haven't seen any action in decades. That famous car that starred in Titanic got people to have sex in it. Why can't they!

► Some of the cars may act strangely in other ways. The AC or heat will blast unexpectedly, the horn will go off at the least opportune moment, the engine will steam, the seats will spring back without anyone pressing the lever... if it can go wrong in a car, it can happen.

If asked, the valet will explain that over the past few months parts have gone mysteriously missing from some of the cars. Stolen, by no good dirty thieves! But what kind of ragamuffin would snatch car parts in the Golden Peacock? Regardless, he will apologize about the issues. They will continue until those missing parts are returned or replaced.

He will offer a monetary reward to anyone that can bring him any information about the guests that have been stealing car parts. It makes him look incompetent at his job, you see. All he has to do is watch these cars that don't go anywhere! If the house catches wind that they're needing repairs on his watch he's liable to lose his job. He's got four engaged daughters and he's got to pay for their weddings. He can't afford to get fired!

PHOENIX CASINO HALL

WELCOME TO THE NEXT 168 HOURS

Phoenix Casino is a-flutter with activity and packed to the beak with guests. As a famously ever-changing space, the staff would be remiss if they didn't deck the crown jewel of the Golden Peacock out. The casino glitters from top to bottom, shining brighter than diamonds, rubies, sapphires, opals! Party-goers are shiny and glamorous with picture perfect makeup, fluttering gowns, and sharp suits. Card tables are packed and the slot machines are a-ringing as guests play, play, play! Prizes, luxury, booze, attractive people, it's the place that everyone wants to be at.

Those people being dragged inside by some invisible force...? Silly, they were so excited to come that their bodies moved before they realized what was happening. Those are struggles of joy and definitely not the casino's infamous ghost hands dragging unwilling guests to the party at the behest of the house. Look, they're literally hurling their bodies at the card tables with unrestrained glee!

All clocks indicating day hours and night hours have been removed from the casino. Once a guest has entered, their Watch will jam, making it impossible to keep track of the time. You don't need to worry about that tonight.

AT THE DOOR

► Guests must adhere to the black tie dress code to enter. Those that show up in less than their best won't be turned away — but they will be stuffed into a rental outfit provided by the staff. All provided outfits are gaudy, flashy, and encrusted with jewelry. Also — itchy. Too much starch.

► Guests that do not want to come will be "helped" to the party by the casino's favorite ghost hands. They will be dragged, levitated, and thrown across the resort until they've "joined" the party. Those that wish to opt out will be conveniently overlooked, completely forgotten by both the house and the hands because they, "lack presence." Ouch!

► Guests that wish to leave the party before it reaches its official end 168 hours later will find obstacles getting in the way of exiting. Staff pop out of nowhere to cheerfully guide them over to this new game they must try. Waiters stop them with trays of steaming food that they think they'll really enjoy. Long-standing guests stumble directly into their path and drag them into some drunken shenanigans. The doors will randomly get stuck. While guests can certainly escape the party, the forces that be are determined to make it difficult for them to call it a night.

REFRESHMENTS

► WHAT THE RICH FOLK EAT: A massive buffet table lines the back wall of the casino. This nod to overconsumption and gluttony features expensive and exquisite eats from land to sea. Everything on the table is decadent; only the best for guests of the Golden Peacock. The servers working the table encourage guests to eat and eat and eat, even going so far as to help them load up their 16 inch plates until they're overflowing. Less is more? Nonsense. More is more.

► IT'S GETTING BUBBLY: While there are plenty of libations to go around, there is one special champagne that's guaranteed sweep you off your feet. A few sips of the bubbly will have you floating in the air like you're the grandpa from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Guests that drink the bubbly will become like a bubble themselves, rising to the ceiling and swimming through the air. Unlike Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, however, burping isn't the answer to grounding safely. The bubbly wears off randomly and without warning, so be careful of falling on another guest or someone's game table.

► JUST A PUFF OR TWO: There's a new smoke that's captured the attention of party-goers. This popular new drug is called twig. Smoked from a very thin joint with an earthy taste. Need to add some pep to your step? Twig is the smoking equivalent of two hundred cups of coffee. Who needs sleep? With twig, it's possible to stay awake for upwards of three days without feeling tired. Guests report feeling "brilliantly energized" after smoking twig. However, reports also note that once the high wears off, the user might feel like a deflated balloon that's been run over by a truck. Long-standing guests will encourage newer guests to give it a try. You can sleep after the party, bro!

GAME ROOMS

TRY YOUR LUCK

DIRTY DICE: EVEN DIRTIER

A crowd favorite — Dirty Dice is BACK and now it's even dirtier. The creators put their heads together to come up with funnier and more dynamic dice options to keep things interesting for players. While the original game used a pair of standard six-sided dice, Dirty Dice: Even Dirtier debuts a pair of hefty twelve-sided dice.

► The rules for Dirty Dice: Even Dirtier remain the same as last year. Players will be seated at a two-top (though group Dirty Dice games are also encouraged!) with a set of dirty dice. The starting player rolls both dice. The action created with the dice must then be done to the opposing player — however, the rolling player does have the option to turn down the action if they're chicken. The second player will then roll the dice to create an action, similarly able to turn down the action if they're also chicken. Players continue to take turns until there is a winner.

► The first player to complete four actions will receive bragging rights, an extra large chip payout, and the resounding applause from the audience. For low rank guests, winning Dirty Dice: Even Dirtier may also come with an invitation to one of the exclusive lounges.

DIE A
1: TICKLE
2: FINGER
3: KISS
4: SUCK
5: CARESS
6: SLAP
7: FONDLE
8: PINCH
9: LICK
10: BITE
11: SNIFF
12: GRIND ON

DIE B
1: LIPS
2: THIGH
3: CHEST
4: ASS
5: MOUTH
6: ELBOW
7: NECK
8: EAR
9: NIPPLE
10: GENITALS
11: KNEE
12: NOSE

SEX TOY ROULETTE

Come one, come all, step right up and try your luck with Sex Toy Roulette! Several giant roulette wheels (an ode to our favorite morning TV show, The Price Is Right) are waiting for those brave enough to give them a spin. Sex Toy Roulette is a game of chance that comes with risks and rewards. Are you daring enough to give it a go?

► Sex Toy Roulette is very easy to play. The player steps up to the wheel, grabs the handle, and gives it their best spin. Whatever the needle lands on when the wheel stops is what the player wins! Lucky ducks might land on one of the fabulous instant prizes which can be claimed immediately. Less lucky ducks land on one of the sex toy options.

► If the needle lands on one of the sex toy options the roulette manager will give the player the corresponding sex toy. The toy will sync with the player's Watch and begin a countdown of 4 hours. The instructions for further steps are also transmitted to their Watch: Use this sex toy in a sex act with another guest within 4 hours.

► Players that complete the game and use the sex toy within 4 hours will receive no penalty. They also get to keep the sex toy. Yay!

► Players that do not complete the game and do not use the sex toy within 4 hours will be penalized. Not only will a substantial amount of chips be drained from their bank account, guests may experience a sudden and intense suit flare. Wildcards may randomly experience symptoms of ANY SUIT.

1: BLINDFOLD
2: CHOCOLATE SYRUP
3: PADDLE
4: DILDO
5: INSTA-PRIZE
6: G-STRING
7: CLIT SUCKER
8: ANAL BEADS
9: ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH
10: INSTA-PRIZE
11: MAGIC WAND
12: GUN

13: A REGULAR SPOON
14: VIBRATOR
15: INSTA-PRIZE
16: ROPE
17: BALL GAG
18: FLESHLIGHT
19: BONDAGE TAPE
20: FLAVORED CONDOMS
21: INSTA-PRIZE
22: BUTT PLUG
23: GARTER BELT
24: KNIFE

25: NIPPLE CLAMPS
26: INSTA-PRIZE
27: LEASH & COLLAR
28: RIDING CROP
29: SEX DOLL
30: BEN WA BALLS
31: CHASTITY CAGE
32: ANKLE CUFFS
33: COCK RING
34: INSTA-PRIZE
35: CUCUMBER
36: HANDCUFFS

► Guests that land on INSTA-PRIZE may select from the following prizes:

An extra-large chip payout and money box experience. Stand inside a narrow box and enjoy being showered with the bills of different cultures across the multiverse! Dollars, yen, euros, yuan... you name it.

The royal experience. Travel around the party in the coveted Pure Gold Peacock Palanquin. Enjoy 24 hours of topless servants and constant hand-and-foot service. All of your commands will be obeyed.

Select from an assortment of luxury watches, necklaces, earrings, and other expensive articles of clothing. Cashmere, pure silk, Mongolian wool — high quality items for keeps. May also select from appliances that would not be normally found in low rank suites.

A brand new car or motorcycle!!! Yes, the car will have to live in the garage, but it's all yours. Winners who choose a motorcycle may ride it around the hallways of the resort.

► The specific details of the sex toy a character is given is left to OOC discretion. For example, if you choose to land on "vibrator", you may have your character given any kind of vibrator. Have fun!

1 or 11

Down the hall from the main hub guests may find a clandestine room with a silvery sign on the door — ARE YOU 1 OR 11? Crossing the threshold brings a different atmosphere from the card tables and slot machines. The game manager stops every person that comes inside, offering four cards and asking the new player to select one.

"This will be your role inside Lovers' Hideaway," she explains with a smile. After selecting a card, the player will be guided past the velvet curtains to join in the amorous atmosphere of a silver-studded lounge with several private bedrooms.

► 1 or 11 is a game of dominance and submission. The four hidden cards offered at the door are all Ace cards. The specific Ace card that the player draws indicates their role of either Dominant or Submissive. For the rest of their time inside Lover's Hideaway that is the dynamic they are expected to play. Players will win a large payout after any intimate D/s encounter.

► A player must redraw every time they leave and return to Lovers' Hideaway, so it is possible to play both dynamics.

A♦: ACE OF DIAMONDS — 1, Submissive.
A♥︎: ACE OF HEARTS — 11, Dominant.
A♣: ACE OF CLUBS — 1, Submissive.
A♠: ACE OF SPADES — 11, Dominant.

► The rules of 1 or 11 are otherwise very relaxed. Doms and Subs seek one another out inside Lovers' Hideaway and find mutual satisfaction together. The staff of Lovers' Hideaway are happy to provide any amenities that the couple would like to use in their play.

HOUSE OF CARDS

Ladies and gentleman! Do you dare to test how steady your hands are? Are you ready for a new challenge? Come play our new game, House of Cards. Step up to any table with a house of cards and prepare to go head-to-head with another guest in a game of strategy and luck.

► Players take turns removing one of the cards from a house of cards. Similarly to Jenga, players must be careful not to knock the house of cards over when removing a card. The player that causes the house to collapse is the loser. A large sum of chips will be transfered from the loser to the winner after the house falls.

► Each card has a question. After successfully pulling a card, the player must then answer the question honestly. Questions vary in intensity, ranging from simple inquiries such as, What is your favorite color? to more complicated, Would you betray a loved one for financial gain?

► Failure to answer the question or to answer it honestly will register as a loss on the player's Watch. The player will then be flagged as the loser and a large sum of chips will be transferred to the winning player.

EXCLUSIVE LOUNGES

ONLY FOR THE FEW

HIGH CLASS OASIS

Being a high rank in the Golden Peacock comes with perks. 168 hours is exhausting, so staff have arranged a luxurious respite for the high rank guests that need a break from the party. Guests ranked 10 - King are invited to come relax in the High Class Oasis. Suit-clad and sunglasses wearing security stand at the door and check each guest's credentials before they're allowed to enter.

Security are strict about monitoring who is allowed to come into the oasis. They won't even allow a high rank to bring a mid or low rank with them; they won't risk upsetting any of the other high ranks. However, while these security guards are loyal and diligent, they aren't especially smart. It is possible for low and mid rank guests to sneak into the oasis with a bit of ingenuity. But be careful — if you don't walk the high class walk, one of the royal long-term guests might call for security to drag the peasants away.

Private bedrooms and sleeping pods.

Bathroom featuring showers, bath tubs, hot tubs, sauna, and steam room.

Racks of complimentary clothing.

Top-shelf bottles of wine, champagne, and spirits.

Complimentary cigarettes and cigars.

Full body massages and masseuses on call.

Birdbucks baristas serving up any and all coffee drinks, on the house.

Peace and quiet away from the peasants!

HIGH ROLLER CLUB

Guests that are willing to bet high and gamble hard are invited to play in the High Roller Club. The High Roller Club isn't for the faint of wallet or heart; everything played inside this exclusive club is high risk and high reward. Guests that refuse to match the high risk energy of the club will be escorted out immediately. Entrance to the High Roller Club is dependent upon the means to bet high. If the dealers judge a guest to be broke and/or a coward, unable to put forth chips and unwilling to bet their bodies, they will be denied access.

Guests that have been denied access but are caught trying to sneak in will be conscripted into drink service. They will be dressed up in a sexy bird costume and made to serve drinks to high rollers. Think sexy casino bunny, bird edition. Hey, at least that gives them a bird's eye view of how the extremely wealthy (and gambling addicts) play?

All games require large bets, either monetary or bodily.

Sex acts may be offered in lieu of chips if the player has no chips left to bet.

All drinks are complementary when playing in the club.

Wins and losses must be large enough to be impactful on a player's daily life.

Players can end up in the red, which triggers instant conscription. Players in massive debt will be forced to work in other areas of the party to begin paying back the house.

Any kind of game may be played in the club, including games under the "Game Rooms" tab.

WOMEN'S PARLOR

A pair of eight foot Amazonian bouncers guard the doors to the Women's Parlor. Only guests that identify as women will be allowed to enter the parlor. Guests that identify as men will be blocked by the bouncers' crossed spears. This lounge is a private space for women to relax and refresh during the festivities.

Like the other lounges, it is not impossible for guests that identify as men to sneak into the Women's Parlor. However, these Amazonian bouncers won't move an inch from the door and refuse to engage with men, leaving little room for persuasion or sneaking. Men who wish to sneak into the Women's Parlor will have to crossdress as women in order to pass the bouncers. It's important to keep up the act, too, lest the long-standing guests inside the parlor realize that men have snuck into their haven and call the Amazons to come catch them.

Comfortable couches and sofas; blankets and pillows.

A few showers stocked with amenities.

Quick laundry service for gowns and pantsuits.

Exclusive dessert bar, featuring limited edition pastries.

High tea at all hours, featuring limited edition tea blends and mini sandwiches.

Running chocolate fountain and numerous dip-able foods such as fruits and marshmallows.

Numerous kittens and cats for cuddling.

Complimentary shoulder and/or foot massages.

HANGOVER AFTERCARE

DID YOU HAVE FUN?

A LITTLE AFTERCARE

► The morning after the party ends, characters will find themselves waking up with someone else in their bed. Did you go to bed with someone last night? Oops, looks like they got misplaced in the shuffle, but please enjoy this new person. No one should wake up alone after a party — or so the house thinks. Affection and intimacy have been reported to increase happiness in humans and semi-human individuals after an exhausting escapade. Plus, it's heard that hangovers can be torturous. Not that it would know.

► Guests won't just be waking up to each other. Waiting for them are trays with steaming hot breakfast and a large cloth bag labeled Hangover Kit. While you're enjoying some coffee and munching on bacon, feel free to dig into the bag and check out what the house has sent for you! Isn't it the best host?

Please enjoy your complimentary: water bottle; aspirin packs; Pepto-Bismol; Gas-X; Imodium; anal douche; enema kit; viagra; face masks; a box of Bon-Bons; and one (1) random sex toy.

Have a pleasant sleepy morning!

OOC NOTES

INVITES | RESERVES | APPLICATIONS

▶ BLANKET CW: Alcohol; altered states; BDSM dynamics; coercion; drug use; exhibitionism; food play; gambling; servitude

▶ All characters on the TDM are WILDCARDS, which means they have not yet been assigned a card value. Suits will not manifest until characters are accepted into the game.

▶ All TDMs are game canon. This TDM acts as the game's January event.

▶ Current characters may top level on the TDM. Any current characters posting to the TDM should note they are current in their subject header.

▶ The top level directory is for new characters only. We want to make sure new characters are prioritized and receive attention! If you would be interested in a game invitation, you can note that in your comment header. This month we also have an ongoing ATP / EMP where players can connect. Please feel free to utilize this for all of your peafowl needs!

▶ If you aren't satisfied with these prompts, please feel free to check out our LOCATIONS to explore more of the resort!

▶ Smut threads that take place on this TDM can be used for rewards. If both parties in the smut thread join the game, you may retroactively apply the character's initial card values to your 52 bank. If one character does not join the game the thread will not be applicable toward rewards (as that character would not have a card value). The character that does join would still receive a small payout for the encounter. Hopefully it was a fun thread regardless!

▶ We ask you to kindly add content warnings to your threads as appropriate.

▶ If you do not currently have permissions and kinks listed in your character’s journal we suggest leaving a note in your top level of any limits or boundaries for other players to reference.

▶ Happy New Year and 2025! ♥

NAVIGATION • LOG • NETWORK • OOC • MEME

Comments

[brother_nature]

Might wanna get some self motivation in the future. I hear that's reeeeal good for, ya know, staying alive.

[A big ol' toothy grin. And if he's getting a proper look at his face, this guy certainly looks like a bandit. Half his face is completely scarred up, and his right eye blank and defunct. It's almost a bit too much.

That said, the confidence wanes slightly as he peers at Akira's handiwork, and he wrinkles his nose.]

Hotbox a what now?

[He's from the 1800s!!]

[survivaltricks]

[ROWDY BOY. . . Akira arches a brow at the question; there's nothing about this guy that outwardly ways I'M FROM THE 1800'S, but he has had this question once already, so. . .]

A car is like a horseless carriage. It moves by itself, but only if you have the key.

[points at the exposed wires]

I'm trying to get this thing started without the key.

[a beat]






So basically, I'm trying to steal it.

[brother_nature]

[He's an adaptable guy like that. The explanation is simple and to the point though, and he quickly gets the gist of it. Fancy automatic carriage, got it. More importantly, it puts his mind at ease that he didn't get got by some young punk. He isn't losing his touch that badly, he hopes.]

Now why didn't ya just lead with that? If you're just a thief, you ain't the one that brought me here. I got no beef with ya!

[He leans back in his seat, clapping his hands together, appeased.]

That said, if yer tryin' to steal it, that must mean it's worth somethin', yeah? And I can't just leave some kid to have all the spoils to himself! That wouldn't be responsible.

[A cackle, and that grin is back. He's not gonna pass up the chance to have chauffeur okay, even if he's never been in the seat of a proper modern automobile before. He snaps his fingers.]

So! Get to stealin'! If ya can't figure this out, maybe yer best left to small time crime.

[survivaltricks]

[oh my god]

Ah. There goes my motivation again. Fickle thing, isn't it?

[and then he just. flops over the front seat, sprawled out with hands behind his head, hood pulled over his eyes]

I think I'll just take a nap instead.

[brat!!]

1/2

[brother_nature]

[.................excuse him?? Bitch.]

[brother_nature]

[Well then. Time for Chobe to get up, bending over as far as he can. . .and then try to smack Akira right aside his head. It's just a normal slap--maybe a little too normal for someone who was just threatening his life, like he's used to trying to get folks to shape up. He could do the whole vine magic shit again, but why waste it? That and he's just utterly baffled at the disrespect. He's a feared and ruthless bandit! When did civilians get so catty??]

Oi, brat! Get the hell up! You got a death wish? I want this box movin'! Or do ya wanna be hand delivered to whatever rich fuck is tryin' to sell us off?!

[He's aware he could just leap out of this mobile prison and book it on foot. But he's in an unknown place at an unknown time, and for as confident as he is, he figures a bit of caution is warranted in this situation.]

[survivaltricks]

[SO FUCKING SORRY CHOBE YOU GOT AKIRA IN MAXIMUM BRAT MODE--]

[unfortunately, pretending to nap means he doesn't see the smack coming. it's not a hard enough thwack to do any real damage, but Akira still lets out a strangled yelp and bolts suddenly upright, head pressed against his head. he looks so offended?? excuse you, sir???]

I don't think it's that serious--

[rubs his head with a grumpy pout, before scooting closer to the ignition wires and toying with them again]

Has anyone told you that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?

[brother_nature]

You callin' yourself a fly cuz yer a pest?

[He huffs. Rather than sitting down he's now gonna stay flopped over the headrest, watching him, arms crossed so he can rest his chin. Bandit he may be, but Chobe's also a big brother first, so he's got a strong drive to make sure younger subordinates get shit done. Not that he'd call Akira a subordinate--right now he's just along for the ride. A passive hostage, if you will. But even still, he's keeping his good eye on him now.]

But sorry, ain't an ounce of sap in my blood, so yer gonna have to deal. Would love to know what circumstances yer used to wakin' up in if this don't set off alarm bells. I'm givin' ya free advice here--listen to your betters if yer gonna try to make a name for yourself, brat.

[survivaltricks]

[a short laugh at that, and the corners of Akira's lips turn upward into an amused grin. obviously, this is just some weird elaborate dream!1 but he doesn't say that aloud, because that would ruin the immersion, wouldn't it? maybe he isn't yet ready to wake up!!]

[so instead, he merely shrugs, tilting his head towards Chobe as he works, a quiet acknowledgement of the interest]

You've got to be at least Confidant rank 7 for that information.

[he never stops being cheeky, does he. the wires spark in his hands, resistant to his attempts at putting the right ones together, and he draws back with a sharp hiss]

Damn. . .

[brother_nature]

[What does that even MEAN Akira!! Chobe's good eye slowly blinks, and he clicks his tongue.]

Y'know, maybe I was mistaken. Ya done lost all yer wits, huh? Damn, I got stuck with a dud.

[Maybe he should just kill him!! He seriously considers, just as he hears the snap of that sparking. Another frown, and then he lets out a gruff sigh, moving the sleeve back on his arm. His skin writhes and then parts, a couple of thin, woody vines shooting out. One wraps around Akira's hand, the other twisting around part of the wire.]

That's electricity, yeah? Try now, idiot.

[He may not know how cars work, but electricity in general he knows how to deal with. Grass types are resistant to electric, those are pokemon rules right.]

[survivaltricks]

I'm not a dud. [said with some offense, his irritation at not being able to COOLLY HOTWIRE A CAR seeping through. what kind of thief is he, anyway! Morgana you should have trained him better!!] I've just never--

[before he can admit that he has never done this before, vines curl around his wrist and hand, and his entire body stiffens in fight or flight. but when he realizes it's not another attack but rather an attempt at helping him. . .]

[well. he relaxes slightly. but only slightly]

[also yeh Pokemon rules always win!1]

[with a breath, he connects the wires again. and this time, instead of sparking at him dangerously. . . the engine slowly springs to life]

-- hah! I've done it!

[PROUD]

[brother_nature]

With my help, ya brat! [He has no idea what Akira even did. He's gonna pull those vines back now. They unwrap from Akira's hand and slink back into his skin.]

So the box is vibratin'. What now? You know how to get it movin'? Or am I gonna have to hold yer hand for that, too?

[survivaltricks]

[only when the vines are gone does Akira relax completely, though admittedly some of his danger senses have dulled now that he is focused on the car. the car! that is running! that he hotwired!! fuck yeah!!]

If you don't even know what a car is, then there's no way you can drive one.

[but he does gesture to the passenger seat. hop in buddy, you've earned shotgun. meanwhile, Akira is positioning himself behind the steering wheel, one hand resting on the gear]

I don't have a license yet, buuuut I know what I'm doing from here on out.

[all that practice with video games and the Mona bus]

[brother_nature]

Don't doubt the power of the bandit king, kid. But I'm letting you operate this shit outta the goodness of my big damn heart.

[Look how kind he is, gosh! He frowns slightly before awkwardly clambering over the seat--he's a grown ass man and how else do you climb to the front!! Eventually enough he flops down haphazardly, glaring through the windshield. Okay, maybe he would have immediately gotten more information if he had initially just...fucking looked out a window, but he ain't admitting that now. He leans back, arms behind his head.]

You yap a lot, ya know that? A real thief don't give a shit about what yer allowed to do or not. Ya just do it.

So what're ya waiting for?

[survivaltricks]

[A MOST GENEROUS KING!!]

For you to buckle your seatbelt.

[he grabs at his own, brow quirked as he pulls it over his body and clicks it into place]

Even the best thieves know that safety comes first.

[okay, Akira!!]

[brother_nature]

. . .

[He's not used to being the least shitty person in the room. Is this the boon of youth. Fucked up.

A roll of his eyes and he follows suit, figuring out how this strap thing works. He doesn't need to worry about safety due to immortality and all but Akira doesn't need to know that!!]

I ain't ever met a thief that was such a stickler for rules.

[survivaltricks]

[yeh. super fucked up. sorry he's like this]

Only when it means I'm being a pain in the ass for the other guy in the room.

[OKAY MAYBE HE'LL CHILL A LITTLE NOW. at any rate, he shifts the gear of the car into drive and starts propelling it forward, maneuvering around the other fancy ones parked around them]

So. . . Bandit King.

[a thoughtful tilt of his head]

Is that your name, or just a title?

[brother_nature]

Haaah? Ya know, underlings should give their names first before demandin' answers. S'just polite.

[Rude!! Doesn't he know how bandit hierarchy works? But, he is trapped in a giant moving metal box, and frankly he does not want to figure it out on his own right now. Judging by all the other cars around, they're clearly not alone in this scenario. It'd be a huge pain in the ass to cause more friction now, and also...well, he can use Akira as a meat shield or hostage later if need be. Win/win!!]

You've got the pleasure of escortin' Aza Chobe, the infamous Bandit King. So if ya wanna use it as a name, I won't stop ya. Murder, arson, battery--ya name it, I've done it. So ya better stay on my good side, yeah?

[survivaltricks]

[WHAT IS A KING BEFORE AN ANGRY MOB--]

[true to his earlier word, Akira is a pretty damn good driver. all that practice with the Monabus!! of course, the more he weaves from parking lane to parking lane, the bigger this entire garage seems. is there an end in sight?? and it's no fun to slowly cruise from aisle to aisle. if one is stealing a car, there needs to be a high speed chase!!]

[problems for later Akira, who is-- at the moment-- more curious about the Bandit King. Aza Chobe, is it. . . huh]

You can call me. . . Joker.

[he gives the code name, if only because it's hard not to have one's guard up against someone who a) threatened him with a pointy object and b) brags about murder]

I can't say my rap sheet is as. . . [a beat. it's not "impressive," really] . . . expansive as yours.

[a cheeky smile]

I specialize in stealing hearts.

[and no, he is not going to explain himself]

[brother_nature]

So yer a whore? Well, it's hard out there for some folks. Least ya got a pretty face for it. Lame ass name, though. Who the hell wants to sleep with a clown?

[He's a bandit but he's all for equal opportunity sluts. Get it, Joker.]

1/2

[survivaltricks]

[HE REGRETS BEING CHEEKY ALL OF A SUDDEN]

[survivaltricks]

No! That's not-- way to ruin a guy's attempt at sounding cool!

[he is also pro-equal opportunity sluts and sex work, but HE ALSO CAN'T HELP THE WAY HIS FACE TURNS BEET RED AT THE IDEA. he was trying to be enigmatic! mysterious!!! WHY YOU GOTTA BE LIKE THIS, BANDIT KING]

[brother_nature]

[He's only got one eye Joker, you think he can see through all that mystery bullshit?? He props his elbow up on his window, squinting at Akira with utter confusion. A whore is a respectful position, get yourself a sugar mama or daddy Joker, be that house husband. ]

That was an attempt? Well shit, you suck at it. I thought ya were useful enough gettin' this box moving, you ain't gotta lie like a dumbass brat.

[survivaltricks]

[HELP. IT IS A PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE PROFESSION HE JUST KNOWS IT IS NOT FOR HIM!!]

[he slumps a bit in his seat, heat still radiating from his cheeks as scarlet creeps up to the tips of his ears. don't mind his sulky glowering; don't worry, it won't affect his driving]

I wasn't lying.

[GOD]

Maybe I should've said I steal desires? Distorted thoughts? Man, I wasn't going to explain it, but I guess I have to now. . .

[brother_nature]

[You see this icon, Akira? That's how he's looking. Yes, he needs detail. Because from Chobe's perspective he's just sounding more and more like a man whore. Distorted thoughts? Desires? Is. . .is this like a kink??

And damn, Akira's red. Hell maybe he's too late and Akira's already been sold off. Damn yeah, that's gotta be it. Joker's new to this life and still hasn't learned to throw away shame. Sucks for him. . .!

Anyway better explain before Chobe makes up a more elaborate story in his head.]