【 Thank you for choosing the Golden Peacock, 5-star resort and casino. You are currently registered as a WILDCARD in our system.
Due to a high volume of check-ins, temporary accommodations have been made in our parking garage for all new arrivals. We aim to have all guests moved into their reserved rooms as soon as possible. We deeply apologize for any inconvenience!
All are invited to There Is No Tomorrow, a Phoenix Casino soiree to celebrate our beloved guests. The festivities will begin at 1800 hours on January 20th and end at 1800 hours on January 27th. Please look forward to 168 hours of delight.
In an effort to raise happiness and encourage better guest relationships, attendance is required. The house will assist guests that are too shy to appear of their own accord. Please note that black tie attire is mandatory. As always, we hope you enjoy your stay! 】
PARKING GARAGE
ANY CAR IN A STORM
PHOENIX CASINO HALL
WELCOME TO THE NEXT 168 HOURS
Phoenix Casino is a-flutter with activity and packed to the beak with guests. As a famously ever-changing space, the staff would be remiss if they didn't deck the crown jewel of the Golden Peacock out. The casino glitters from top to bottom, shining brighter than diamonds, rubies, sapphires, opals! Party-goers are shiny and glamorous with picture perfect makeup, fluttering gowns, and sharp suits. Card tables are packed and the slot machines are a-ringing as guests play, play, play! Prizes, luxury, booze, attractive people, it's the place that everyone wants to be at.
Those people being dragged inside by some invisible force...? Silly, they were so excited to come that their bodies moved before they realized what was happening. Those are struggles of joy and definitely not the casino's infamous ghost hands dragging unwilling guests to the party at the behest of the house. Look, they're literally hurling their bodies at the card tables with unrestrained glee!
All clocks indicating day hours and night hours have been removed from the casino. Once a guest has entered, their Watch will jam, making it impossible to keep track of the time. You don't need to worry about that tonight.
▶ All characters on the TDM are WILDCARDS, which means they have not yet been assigned a card value. Suits will not manifest until characters are accepted into the game.
▶ All TDMs are game canon. This TDM acts as the game's January event.
▶ Current characters may top level on the TDM. Any current characters posting to the TDM should note they are current in their subject header.
▶ The top level directory is for new characters only. We want to make sure new characters are prioritized and receive attention! If you would be interested in a game invitation, you can note that in your comment header. This month we also have an ongoing ATP / EMP where players can connect. Please feel free to utilize this for all of your peafowl needs!
▶ If you aren't satisfied with these prompts, please feel free to check out our LOCATIONS to explore more of the resort!
▶ Smut threads that take place on this TDM can be used for rewards. If both parties in the smut thread join the game, you may retroactively apply the character's initial card values to your 52 bank. If one character does not join the game the thread will not be applicable toward rewards (as that character would not have a card value). The character that does join would still receive a small payout for the encounter. Hopefully it was a fun thread regardless!
▶ We ask you to kindly add content warnings to your threads as appropriate.
▶ If you do not currently have permissions and kinks listed in your character’s journal we suggest leaving a note in your top level of any limits or boundaries for other players to reference.
[ the windows are tinted and even curtained from the inside; a curtain divides the car from the driver's seat. she clambers to the back alongside texas. well, wearing nothing but a nightgown was a little amusing at first, even if of course it's definitely less layers than is prudent for an assassin like her. still...
she can practically feel her hackles raise a little at the offer. not exactly out of aggression, but, ] You're being so obliging or, uh... [ she practically struggles a little over what she's trying to say or articulate. it's just so surreal she still barely know how the fuck to handle this because she's used to a lifetime of texas basically stonewalling her. she's comfortable with that and with bothering texas. whatever this is is just taking her aback. ]
Or are you pitying me? I don't really care that much about rank, you know.
[ she may as well already be the lowest of the low, infected lone wolf. she really knows she can't rely on anyone but herself. constantly willing to help texas or even help others, she knows nobody would extend a hand to her... maybe amiya. and maybe texas only had once, twice, when she was already ready to die.
anyway, texas willingly saying something crazy like 'stay with me' is just so completely unrealistic to her she can't really believe the offer at all. ]
(no, she doesn't. that offer wasn't from pity, that was because she had enough of an idea on how horrible the basement is. between finding out broca avoids going back to his suite down there thanks to weiss and having had seen it multiple times, she's gotten an idea. she hasn't heard the moans, she hasn't heard everything. but....yeah, she had enough of an idea. too much of one. her legs are crossed while she sits calmly, tights covering them up and form fitting while texas thinks this over.
maybe it's better to just say that, they have plenty wrong with them, and it's not like cellinia helped that. five months of thinking has done enough. in this hellhole that is the golden peacock, she shouldn't do as she normally would. maybe that makes her spade mark burn in irritation, but she stands by her decision willingly. besides, the timing wasn't so bad on the specifics. they don't have to rush this (figuring out where to go from stonewalling to otherwise is different) since it isn't like they'll be leaving any time soon.)
Didn't I tell you that I had five months to think?
(she might hate the resort, but going at it alone is....also the other struggle. their natures as lone wolves might differ, but texas does still keep to herself strongly. nothing has changed in that. she can blend in seamlessly, fit in anywhere, but that doesn't change much else about her.
it's not like she's saying that per-say, but more that she does want to try and do something more. against her nature, against that spade mark burning. that brat really does annoy her.)
Believe me if you want to, or don't. I still offered it.
[ there was definitely a period of time she's pretty sure texas pitied sora, or else why would she hang around that girl. during a little stalking and investigating she could learn texas even rescued and helped sora and. isn't that nice!!! isn't that nice. isn't that just--
and then of course, there's common sense just telling her that the two of them must be genuine friends or more and isn't that just how reality works. friendship or more could somehow seem so impossible with herself. anyway it's natural for the strong to pity the weak. nothing particularly wrong with that. not that she thinks of herself as weak, not that she's particularly prideful, not that she doesn't like the idea of living with texas, it just sounds a little suspicious. ]
Looks like you've changed in those five months, then. [ somehow, possibly, even more so than in seven years. just maybe. she definitely would never expect texas to offer her a place when she'd found her in lungmen. ]
I'll think about it. [ ... ] Or I suppose it'll be convenient for you. It should go without saying I wouldn't mind... helping, with that mark of yours. Might as well keep someone like that close, if you're not already keeping three other girls in your bedroom or something.
[ maybe out of pocket, maybe more bitter than she should say. but she's always more than a little caustic or rotten, she just hasn't done anything about it. what a joke if her bark is just truly worse than her bite. ]
(the difference in the resort and lungmen is....stronger. honestly, the resort to texas beats siracusa. that's not an exaggeration on her part, either. it does feel like it in many ways and following that similar structure of dog-eat-dog isn't helping. broca might call her nuts for this, given he's the only other siracusan around aside from her and now lappland. then again, that's bound to happen at some point (knowing what history she has with lappland) thanks to some of the things cellinia is capable of. she didn't pity sora, she doesn't pity lappland. strength and weakness doesn't matter.
what matters is that she reached for it, and she's doing what she had done similarly for sora. as suspicious as it sounds, five months is still a lengthy period of time to think about things. five months separated from everyone. none of her friends are here, any friend's texas made does their own thing. she didn't place on them the expectation of worrying about her, texas even went as far as to try hiding she was injured before from them.)
I do have a spare bedroom.
(some unused things in her suite, too. that jacuzzi being one, but luckily she does use her kitchen and doesn't just gorge herself on sweets as a means of staying alive. she's not a child. texas did, however, bite the urge to roll her eyes. does lappland really think she's that bad to take girls and make a harem or something?
don't answer that. do not answer that.)
Lappland, nobody else stays with me. I'm not hiding some mysterious trio now in there, the guest room hasn't been touched by anyone.
[ she’d sure like to answer that if given the opportunity. just the struggles of being just one of several in love with the popular girl. ]
It wouldn’t quite matter to me if you do or not, you know. [ it wouldn’t. it just completely obviously wouldn’t. ] I’m not going to be critiquing your living situation or life choices or friends. I’m just saying that… [ after years or just about nearly a lifetime of not expecting much from texas, she accepts it. there’s not terribly much to it. ] You don’t have to do something like that, that’s all. I don’t really mind if you like space from me. [ she basically assumes that’s always the case.
… she has to consider how much of that minding actually is a lie or not, because of course she wants to be close. constantly, always, but with the occasional caprice of a lone wolf even with her obsession. her tail flicks restlessly; of course she wants to be with texas, it may as well just be that she doesn’t really truly try to fulfill those most selfish personal wants. ]
Such an intimate thing you’re offering. If you regret it I might not even leave and you’ll really have to deal with me then.
(she's not getting called out this time, she's already fulfilled her quota of that for the month after recently. nope, not setting herself up for another one after that. but, she did frown. it isn't like she doesn't know what she's getting herself into. maybe she also wanted to reach over and pinch her for that, but she's not. not yet, anyway. that's not going to do much except more than likely cause problems again.
possibly, probably. she did have enough time to think about it, but she's definitely wondering what else she might have to deal with now.) I can cross that bridge if that happens at some other time. (about regrets, she means, that's all there is to it. that and maybe there's little else texas can say. she still made the choice, it isn't as if she didn't have in mind she might regret something or other depending. they're both likely to wind up getting themselves in some manner of trouble around one another, but that's another thing for the future. what was that saying? new year, new me? something along those lines is what she thinks about briefly.)
I'll show you around after the party....if we're not feeling like death because of the guests forcing alcohol down our throats and everything.
(they did still have to get through a week-long party, didn't they? texas can party, she knows that. it's something that can help her loosen up, but not when it's forced like that. that's what she dislikes, partying being obligated due to the resort and it's whims again.)
[ a sly smile, ] I don’t know about you, but I think I can handle a party and drinks, Texas. [ strangely enough, she probably kind of likes parties and festivities. like carnivale. not exactly even really participating in them much, she just kind of likes to see people having fun, and or suffering. if texas might suffer in a particularly rowdy party, why not. all the better!
but for now they’re alone in the car and she’s not in a hurry to go partying just yet. she shifts to cross her own legs, seated across from texas in a little four-seater space in the limo.
an expectant look at texas, then she extends her hand. ]
(penguin logistics does have plenty of them, plenty more to deal with from their antics. she just doesn't enjoy being forced to party. what kind of sadistic ass place makes people stay up for that long to party? the house, that's what does. annoying, but she's got enough that she's dealt with from it under her belt. experience has taught texas that they'll be in for it. between the games, the drugs going around, food, and drinks. not like she wants to deal with the idea that something might be forced on her in general, because really, who wants to eat themselves to death nearly like how she saw some of them near do already?
she's not in a rush to go back, either. but she did blink, she wants to see it again? her left glove is taken off again. the spade mark made up of both wolves is back in view, it's not as colored in as some guests she knows, but there's a color to it. the black and silver is a standout from how it looks. as expected, she was doing bare minimum to avoid an actual flare-up from the suit.
not that it's too surprising, she tried to not bring her problems on others. about as much as she tried to run away from said problems (that might take longer for her to stop, but she's trying) knowing that she's going to be dealing with a lot. maybe they might be fine, it isn't like anyone has romantic feelings for her in the resort.
....present company, aside.)
Mine wound up on an obvious spot, but I know they can manifest wherever and however they want to.
I’ll believe that when you can out-party me. That means outplaying me at party games, outdrinking me, outdancing me. [ her grin this time shows more teeth, a challenge. she thinks she’s so clever! but surely there’s no way texas would take her up on that, right! whether they’re stuck in some fuck resort or not.
and yes she does want to see this mark again, for sly or obvious reasons. ah yes, present company aside. how funny, she could just about gaslight herself to be perfectly truly not quite so happy to call herself texas’ friend and enemy, and that’s fine with her, and now apparently she could find herself here and suddenly have to be concerned with… hormones, with turning into a statue. well the latter is, she thinks, not such an ordeal for herself. but how funny if texas is worried about it now.
she takes texas’ hand in hers. the obscenity of hand holding. something texas probably had ever barely tolerated of her if ever. and every glimpse and touch to the mark and texas’ palm in hers is… ]
Should I feel flattered I have such an impact on you? [ her voice quieter, a murmur. her black claws lightly trace over the spade and two wolves. ]
Yeah, right. Keeping up here isn't easy for me, too. Not with the amount of hedonism and debauchery happening going past Siracusa. But if you're that keen on going up there, I guess we're both stuck at that 168 hour party together.
(that means dealing with whatever else may come from it, be it drunken antics or their party games turned into them being a pair of hot messes from how the resort works. there's no way that the foods not laced, some of it probably is. the rest might not be, but she's not taking chances if it so much as smells off in knowing how lupo senses can be. they're both here, both trapped in a haunted resort that runs off sex and puts it's residents through all manner of problems. it's crazy, isn't it? going from the miserable pit that is their world of terra to this.
but, enough about that. she doesn't jerk her hand back or anything, it stays calmly there while lappland traces over the spade mark. she did read conversations on the network piece by piece, but a pity nothing came up that might be interesting. nothing about the marks or about why the resort does this. just conversations and casual distractions, that time everyone made the atmosphere heavy aside. she did wonder if the marks do this based around something pertaining to them. maybe, but not everyone has a mark like hers or the others with unusual looking ones. even weiss had hers made up of crows when she saw that.
it must be that this one was because it chose to focus on one part of cellinia, and that would be....there's always that wolf looming behind her. not far, not close. her enemy, her friend. the person who knows her too well while not knowing her at all in some ways.)
Maybe. (it being a brat had to come from somewhere, but she's not voicing that.) That's up to you.
[ well texas might hate this place but so far to lappland this may as well be somewhat of a fantasy come true, twistedly. dealing with things like drugged food and drink... it may as well be somewhat a fact of life in siracusa if you're enough of a target and you have enough hitmen after you, like she does. resort accommodations whether they're in the basement or not may as well be the high life to a vagrant who's camped for long out in the wilderness. the threat of getting statuified may as well be boring compared to oripathy, she sure can't fuck her infection away.
but she might for texas, apparently. her grin is somewhat secretive as she turns texas' hand in hers, caressing over her palm, raking her claws over skin. seeing that mark may as well just instantly make her worse on principle, as much as she'd make some effort to turn texas off from offering a room.
of course she wants it. of course she wants... so much. so fucking much. texas should probably know it. this mark is doing something to her or whatever or maybe she's already been drugged during five months or who knows or cares what the hell's happened. the disgusting feelings burning in her gut, the twist in her chest, she'll just leave it unsaid, she'd be surprised if texas wouldn't know at least a little of what she wants. ]
What does it really take to satisfy it?
[ surely not just cute nice hand holding, like this possibly counts. but she wants to hear texas say it.
she always wants to be with her, almost always, with the instability of her sickness and her dedication and... there's a part of her that constantly thinks about, someday, truly giving up on texas. but even she's not sure if she ever really would. ]
(there might be a lot there, hell is the one label cellinia took to using. hellhole, shithole, the whole works for names. she's had thoughts about what she'd do when she gets out, apologies she'd make, questions on her mind about what she might do. she doesn't know if time flowed differently within the resort, more than it does back home. she's here and quiet, trying to keep herself from being eaten alive by things more than necessary. she didn't want to be a statue, and she didn't trust that comment about wishes being granted if someone completed a deck. from the sheer number of people who seem to have given up, there's no way that she would.
so maybe for lappland it's sounding like a paradise, because they're both trapped here. no way to leave other than trying to play the game and going from there. that's the issue in itself, how would they get the cards to make their exit or whatever else? texas doesn't want to consider if they'd be trapped there for an eternity.
the question is one she has to answer, she knows it too well. lappland has had further feelings all the same, things that are between the two wolves that often go unmentioned. while lappland doesn't say it, texas knows it. the mark sits and burns. half mockery, the other half pointedly demanding she speak her mind again from that grin and claws going along skin. she did know that things might worsen, but can anything really not get worse in the resort? she doesn't know the answer to that question in particular, but she does know what lappland wants to hear.)
....sex, so touching me.
(which means. cellinia touching lappland whenever she has her turn to get marked happen. checked-in and suffering all the same way that texas did with her "gift" from the house. a pity that her suit mark remained a stubborn brat, but she can't change that.
she couldn't change that, but....maybe she knows they're both cursed at any rate. sex is a two-way street in the resort, some use it as a transaction at best and others have found partners they primarily sleep with while maintaining open relationships. that was how they've managed, from what texas knows. so, who knows what might happen now between them.)
[ it's sure not a paradise. she'd probably never considered the idea of something so fanciful as a paradise in her life. maybe if she were to try, she could just barely haltingly imagine... something as completely impossible as texas smiling at her, texas taking her hand, texas touching her, texas telling her that she--
something so impossible and laughable. and something almost as impossible as having sex with texas. it may as well be the kind of dream she'd fuck herself to at night with the bitterness and sickness of her heart. and now that it might just happen all she could do is just... maybe just not think about it, how much she wants, or she'd just go insane. she just looks at texas for a longer moment, eyes half-closed, texas' hand in hers. if she thinks of how much she wants she'll go insane. how she might want to pull texas close and bite her mouth, shred her clothes, claw her bloody, just about tear her apart. maybe her fantasies could barely count as sex. ]
All right. I understand.
[ she holds texas' hand to her cheek, turns her face just so to brush her mouth over texas' palm. the gentleness that nobody would think of her, if she's not going to do something so crude as rip clothes right now, apparently. ]
(her hand still has calluses along it from the years of swordplay, but without her blades that's useless. those were taken whenever texas found herself dragged into the resort, she only found it fortunate they didn't decide to take her arts in addition to that. then again, she did learn that they do remove powers from people in very specific instances that weren't their suits. she doesn't push the thought, her hand in lappland's while she sits and thinks. her mind has been all over the place throughout her stay in the golden peacock.
tonight was no different, nothing else, except not with thoughts of her self-destructive tendencies. their eyes lock, amber on silver with the burn of that spade mark running through her. a demand. she wants to touch and be touched, doesn't she? it's got its hooks in her and is trying to push again. influence instincts she buries down often, make her react to something that would just as easily rip her to shreds. the same way that she might were she able to whenever she feels a shiver down her spine.
if she understands, then why doesn't she touch her? she has an offering, her hand, which her lips brush against. an admission that she needs this. she isn't good at saying it, much less being more honest with herself. wouldn't now count as one time she needs to be? maybe. that gentleness caught cellinia off guard, but texas also knows that lappland isn't always vicious. that's always depended on her, her mood, and what she's thinking about.
which means....shouldn't she say it, here? that texas wants to be touched? no, she needs to say it.)
she closes her eyes briefly; that heaviness presses again in her chest; it's with an effort that she tries to stifle it. how funny it is, lately she's simply been thinking over her feelings with texas, considering letting go of them altogether. she's just texas, and i'm just--she knows, with all the memories and clawmarks of their lives together, she would and had done just about anything and everything for her.
this is just another favor she could do for a friend, but, ]
What a thing to say to me, Texas. [ even she doesn't know anymore if her feelings or words are a little bitter, or just bittersweet. she'll simply turn herself instead to what should be fact, that she doesn't have feelings at all. if she does, she'd want to kiss her, she might even want to do something like this somewhere nicer than inside a... admittedly nice, luxury car, but still kind of a questionable place to try to fuck her friend.
she draws in close, her sheer nightgown falling looser around her shoulders. her hands go to texas' top, her smile small but crooked, ] Let's get you out of this, then. Looks rather complicated, your new outfit. [ it's more to undress than herself, nearly entirely naked already. ]
(she could have worded that better, said something better, even. another mockery, she can feel that from the burn again. isn't she always prone to making things harder on herself? she could have said anything else, anything. she didn't. she wants to say something else, but should she? texas knows that she's been terrible, she's always been that way.
terrible to the point she can't bring herself to do something more than say it without having it feel like it's always gone deeper. isn't it funny?
she's a hypocrite, always prone to being harsh on many things she shouldn't be. maybe texas should have stopped talking. she's quiet when lappland reaches closer, her hands along that jacket part of the outfit she was given for this stupid party. she would have liked it to be somewhere nicer, but....the cars as close as it gets for them. her suite is off limits thanks to the "lovely" ghosts. anywhere else is too, technically speaking, that isn't the casino or here.
so she's uncertain on what she can say, or maybe her eyes watch a little too closely how that gown slips down along lappland's shoulders. the crooked smile. part of her did wonder if this is a good idea, it's likely not. not with her maybe, for something different, leaning in when lappland comes closer. texas isn't the best of kissers, she can admit that much on a good or bad day. yet this is something different, her bare hand reaches to touch lappland's cheek in a gentle caress that shouldn't have made texas shiver the way she did and....
for once, she found need to do something right when texas comes in closer. if possible, she kisses lappland. lips crushed together like she was holding back this whole time from something more than that. it makes everything go quiet, no mockery, no burns along her hand. just. silence.)
[ well it's not exactly the wrong thing to say or think, because the right thing to do is to never try to get involved with her again at all. or it's just the case that they could recognize their current relationship and keep it that way, it might as well be what lappland has known and forced herself to accept. better that than killing texas' friends and if she really went off the deep end, texas herself. those vicious thoughts she personally tried to keep under lock while knowing in reality she's just about a dog who'd do anything for who she's infatuated with and isn't that pathetic.
and however more pathetic is, she could idly think, if helping texas means touching her or having sex with her it could maybe still be just be done as a matter of fact and not much more than that. the flattery of seeing the mark, the sinking feeling in her gut over what it could mean because it'll just finish in more inconvenient feelings for the both of them. if she had feelings she'd want to kiss her or sink her claws in her and never let her go. but she doesn't do that and so she almost freezes when texas touches her because--
she's not sure if texas has ever done that before, actually, if she were to think of it, for their entire criminal lives.
and she could dream of texas kissing her with the idle thought that of course it won't happen. she's tense through it, tail stiff, ears trembling before flicking back. her heart aches with longing. the snarl of her self-control tries to clench down on it. she doesn't move for a moment before, almost tentatively, trying to kiss back as her eyes flutter and heat flares in her chest. how useless it is to want something like this, she barely considers her selfish wants, but she'd always wanted to do this. ]
(any other time this might have been leaning towards tentative and not cellinia actually touching lappland. but she did anyway, she touched her. kissed her hard, even. because she did want to do that against her and her better judgment. since lappland didn't pull away, she comes closer, close enough to be in her lap. maybe pretend that her hands weren't reaching to pull that nightgown down (no, not pretend, she's more fixated on kissing) along her shoulders. by far, lappland is the easier one to undress between them. texas had more layers, between the vest, her cape, those pants and her dress shirt. something better suited for a carnevale than a party like the one she was to be forced into when they're done.
but that's something to worry about in the future, that future being whenever she's not lip locking with her friend and enemy. she's still not the greatest at this, with kissing. she's still trying even with her tongue licking at lappland's lips between each of them to taste her. she's pretending. half pretending that this did not make her suit worse in some of the things she was feeling, the other half wanting to strip down and let out some of those feelings she's had hidden away. not the whole truth (please, it's texas, she would never stop that) yet enough to make something clearer.
that she hides her own feelings too well at times, her own desires, if she withheld from touching lappland or going past handholding as they grew older in brunello for that long in what rarer instances she can remember of that much.
the kiss is starving, teetering into being a mess. how can she get this hungry for someone she claims she didn't trust, that she claimed she couldn't while saying all those things hurtful things? that's better off left unanswered. if not now, then maybe never out loud. she's understood too well that they're doomed, and there isn't any other way around it. and by doomed, she means they'll never be normal about this. perhaps never even get that far knowing one of them terminal and the other is....a coward more than she wants to admit. likes to admit, truly.)
[ she finds herself almost shaking as texas kisses her demandingly, a situation so surreal she can't even believe it's reality. how strange, even in her wildest dreams texas remained... distant, uncaring, maybe tolerating her advances if she touched her, maybe stomping her face into the ground in her more masochistic masturbation sessions. and funnily enough she never quite thought she'd be wanted back, after a lifetime of shadowing her and pranking her and killing for her and just about desperate to want to die for her, once upon a time. pursuing her just to be with her. telling sora to chase after her. fantasizing of hacking her friends apart cut by cut, body by body. knowing she won't actually do it. she'd given up on the idea of making texas hers but maybe she could just follow her for a while more like some lovesick puppy until she either dies or, she was slowly suspecting, give up in earnest. it could take a single carnivale to do just that.
she could just about dedicate her life until she could slowly admit she doesn't have terribly much life left, however much her life is worth. she could finally try to use it against other goals.
but the dedication and obsession might never quite leave its claws in her like sickness. if she were any more selfish she would have tried to make texas hers any time sooner or at all. even now the idea barely occurs to her until she could feel texas' hands at her nightgown, texas' body nearly crawling into her lap. she shivers hard in realization and desire, the sudden crash of it onto her. the sanity she's not supposed to have keeping her in check for so long. her hands tremble as she grips texas' top. every sickly and savage and covetous and pathetic desire she has shakes in her chest. ]
You're insane, Texas.
[ for wanting her or indulging her. or maybe texas is just hormonal or whatever. she'd accepted their relationship as friends and enemies and she told herself to be happy with that. changing this might as well just be disastrous for her if she wants any more than this. she returns the kiss with sudden vindictiveness, with a growl in her throat as her claws sink into the fabric of the masquerade outfit. if texas might play with her heart or just feel like being selfish, she'll do so too. ]
(unfortunately for them, she isn't the type of girl to play with someone's feelings. even if she is the worst at responding (from the way she runs away to doing everything that she can to avoid it) to them in a normal day between them. she finally shifts to get in her lap proper whenever lappland's hands grip at the vest part of her masquerade outfit. the fabric of it thick and meeting claws, she might have to change if this gets torn apart. that's bound to happen between them, but it'd be extra time not dealing with the party for texas. that in itself is worth it for her, cellinia won't lie about that. even if it's at a cost of giving in to more hidden desires, things she never expressed. things that never left her mind as of late about the happenings in the resort and her own questions about what was happening in terra.
it's depressing to about how long she's been there, more depressing to remember that lappland might die soon. that's not on her mind, not when her hands glide along exposed and sickly pale skin. how they reach to cup her breasts, to grab and squeeze them. it's interesting, she doesn't normally take the lead herself. not whenever it's between them, but she is for a change. through a kiss, and by how she's touching her. it feels too good to do that in comparison to what times she's been with others for her own survival.
like that restless beast in her is calmer, despite the cravings for more. keep going, keep going, that's strongly whispered in her ears and not by her suit. this was texas herself (even with the encouragement from that spade mark) deciding that she can try and be different. that in itself would take time, there's always things which are easier said than done in that regard. changing habits which she had for quite some time included. but enough about that, her ears are ringing from how hard her heart pounds. loud, bursting, drumming.
that remark causes her to growl, as if to say she's always been this way. texas by no means is....sane. she can act a good game, but nobody does the things she does without being crazy. which is why part of her feels they changed roles with that, from the sheer number of times she's said it to lappland. though that was more a handful for her.)
Haven't I always been?
(this is the woman that murdered her father over her grandfather's death they're talking about. that was all it took to make her wipe the slate and leave. the outfit is annoying (the one that texas is wearing) though she won't care if lappland in her vindictiveness does rip it off her. she might just rip that pretty flimsy gown off with her teeth in exchange the rest of the way, or her panties if she had any with how bad this is getting for her to feel this aroused.)
[ the question just furthers the growl in her throat, the flicker of her face, a flash of something that's almost something between fury and desperation. sure, everyone thought lappland insane but everyone thought texas cool and collected. good thing lappland doesn't have feelings to burn. ]
You don't have to tell me that. [ she had been with texas... she wasn't the first, she probably wasn't even the longest, she's not sure when exactly texas and giovanna became friends. and she certainly wasn't the closest. she held the closeness of a whole seven year separation. she isn't bitter over it, she had no choice but to accept it. the reality of the matter is they're both lone wolves and yet she wondered over and over again in that separation why it was, all she wanted was if they could be alone together.
all her life, all her life, all her life wanting to be with her. wanting almost completely nothing more than that. accepting the separation, or rather acceptance was something like a constant battle to do just that every time she'd talk to texas' friends. all her life wanting one thing, one person, the contradiction and jealousy and bitterness and acceptance that it won't happen, wanting one person and not even really considering the idea of being wanted back until it seems to be happening now and if she really accepts it even more fully she might just go insane beyond her current self control.
texas touching her, like she'd barely imagine. texas kissing her, texas undressing her... of a single robe, but it makes her shake near uncontrollably when she's fully naked now. the sick-pale skin, the crystalline lesions, her modest breasts, the fur between her legs. the old scar crossing her body from the shoulder, the wounds some of which texas knows and many she probably doesn't from seven years. her hackles raised, her look at texas somewhere between furiously ecstatic and almost close to despairing, her face a snarl. for a split second like she's a hit dog again, a creature who adores one person only, who chased after one person only and accepts her place in knowing she won't be chased back.
but she always, always, deeply, devastatingly wanted... ]
You might regret making me think you want me this badly. [ well there's no angel here, no idol, no giovanna. just herself. and if she allows herself to want texas she's not actually sure what the hell she'll do. ]
(because she's always been this way. a different type of crazy, not the insanity of lappland whenever she genuinely feels that way. the insanity of a woman that chose one of the not sanest approaches to living, that girl who killed her father and burned it all down. of the three, cellinia was the one that made her own decision to not fall under the paths that giovanna and lappland themselves took. that path was a path meant to be the hardest. she may never stop feeling angry, but her choice was and still is the decision she made. that she would shoulder on her responsibility in this mess she once was part of as a familiga wolf. she is not that golden girl, what she is now is someone that went against the fold.
because cellinia texas held and saw one thing, what she likes most is life. living, dreaming, and breathing. the risk always had it's biggest highs to her and no matter this choice setting her further away from those she grew up with, she chose this. the two were part of her life and were in some ways precious to her. the difficulties of showing this is another story. because texas knows she might not ever be able to do that. they'd never reach her with the paths they took, and she'd never reach them in a similar vein until they all find what they're after. it was just humorous that the runaway lone wolf saw what she wished for first over time when she returned to siracusa.
as a lone wolf, this had been her choice. maybe now it counts again as her decision, would she regret this? can she? that's the thing about living, there would always be regrets. so maybe, just maybe....she wants to live even with those regrets. and desires more importantly to do something that plenty would call her insane over. broca would call her stupid, she knows him by now. aak might even think she's crazy after their conversation last time. but she knows, she knows what she wants to do for now. she can defend herself if it comes to that with or without weapons. so she touches lappland, her fingers trailing over one particular shoulder scar. not the one left by ingrid, the other one. seeing it again reminds her of that night. she still has a rather familiar one from her hip to her stomach courtesy of someone that's in front of her.
funny. they gave one another mutual scars that night, but her touch is gentle for looking it over. the touch of her rough fingertips tracing it before she reaches to get that vest unbuttoned and that cape she was wearing dropped to the floor. as loathed as she is to stop kissing lappland for now, she did need to keep this from being ripped off. they can't go to a party nude (even if that wouldn't be much of a surprise in the resort after she came in on that vampire blood orgy just about) despite her having a feeling that would be acceptable to the house. those bastards in the end that run everything.) If you think you'll act out, whether I regret it or not is on me. But what I do know is that if I have to, then I'll be the one to stop you from doing anything. (she should have said that from the start, she might regret it in some ways. in others, maybe not.
because that's living, that's always how it should be with or without regrets once that vest is down on the floor. her dress shirt and ascot are left, so are those slacks and her boots. damn pain in the ass outfit, ugh.)
[ life is the privilege of the living. but how odd it is, somewhere along the way ever since their origins in siracusa and, actually, before that originium bomb, she somehow found herself in a world where she could admit that maybe there was absolutely nothing in her life worth living for, except--
for one person. one person she could fixate on in a life-ruining way after all, in the way that she really could just about slaughter anyone for, even or especially family or even possibly herself. her ears tremble, pinned back. what a paradox it is because it took years of nearly losing a life purpose to be with texas when texas disappeared and now, finally, years later she could haltingly consider what the hell life could be if she really gives up on her. there's the part of her that burns with jealousy that texas truly will have a whole rest of her life without her and well, maybe it's all the better if she could try to space or cut their relationship and her obsession. whether she could do so is another question. texas will have the rest of her life to be with that angel and idol and forte and giovanna later, so wanting her now beyond friendship is slightly useless unless she really goes insane.
and she thinks about it all the time. ]
If you really think you can stop me, you have another thing coming. [ all the time. it's not really a joke at all if she fantasizes of kidnapping her, of locking her away, of keeping her all for herself. the toxicity and blackness and violence that she vents on corpses.
and then there's the reality of the truth where she'd kill and die and go to jail for texas after all. still, she mock-snarls in texas' direction, her claws rip the last of texas' accessories and ascot off, then hook to the buttons of her shirt to simply cut them loose and tear. ah... it's really, really such a pain. for all that she scorns people for masking their real selves, she knows she might be the biggest culprit. ]
I'll see if I can make you regret it yet, then.
Come on. Take it all off. [ of course, she's helping. but she's just saying. ] If I'm naked here, so are you. If you think you want me, I'll either cure you of that delusion or we can die trying.
(living of course never was the easiest thing, some could give up without even trying. texas for a time had done similar in how she moved through the motions, life was nothing she enjoyed. that she faded fast and felt almost as if nothing might ever drag her out of that pit. then eventually, texas found herself thinking that wasn't what she ever wished for. to die that easily when she began to find her way once again and rebuild. but, rebuilding could be another hardship. with or without how her life's direction changed; she found it to be one of the hardest moments she's ever experienced. going from living corpse to back to a girl that had lost more than she'd ever talk about.
as that title she was given, her past was and still is falling under a single word (omertosa) in everything that happened. texas isn't thinking about it, what she thinks more about is that there are some things that she should have done better. those were regrets, she would always carry them. yet here they are, alone. they aren't bound by their dni, not even by the fact rhodes island contracted them. all they're here as is two wolves. two wolves that nobody knows the history of, two wolves who have been picked apart cleanly by the system they were once part of. they do not belong here, perhaps, not any further than they did in terra. likely not ever would they find a true home even if texas did make friends. cellinia is good at it, but that didn't mean she's the greatest of friends and people.
her demeanor leaves much to be desired, though she pauses her thoughts and snarls back at the mockery she's met with. the two of them would never know if cellinia doesn't try now, won't they? she didn't say that just to sound "cool", not even to sound like she's a big shot of sorts. texas intends to try. that's all she can do.
that's all she has to do, with or without a weapon in her hands.)
I'm hardly being delusional, despite what you think.
(a hiss, the cloth and fabric rips easily, the buttons popping off at least to reveal familiar (that one lappland gave her along her side and abdomen in particular) and not so familiar scars once her dress shirt falls to the floor with accessories. maybe even signs of another newer scar in the shape of talons along her right arm. those were healing from an event in october, but it must have been bad if a winged clawbeast got its hands on her.
her bra is exposed too, black and sitting pretty with patterns in the fabric whenever texas reaches to undo her belt. annoying clothes, but she's almost freed of them. almost free as the belt buckle comes undone and the sound of her zipper coming down fills the air. she's in a hurry to undress all the same.
they're likely never bound to change in some ways, but they're both culprits of being hypocrites about their own ideas. their own thoughts and more.)
[ she gets the feeling, but she could just about try to talk shit because anything different in reality might be something she can barely deal with.
even if that sounds horribly dramatic. maybe she can’t help it. she might not even deny it, she’d practically lived her whole life pining after one person and finally faced with the idea of having her is turning her entire reality on its head to the point that she could barely grapple with it. years of useless fantasies of kissing and touching her, fucking her or even something at all even nicer. there truly was nothing she truly actually cared about in life at all, not friends or family or country or hobbies. just one person, until she really thought the best thing she could possibly do was give her life to that person until she was denied. nothing, nothing, nothing mattered. the chronic pain and spread of the infection, the fury towards family and country, the constant betrayals and massacres, the loneliness, nothing mattered nothing mattered in the world except her.
the pathetic state of her obsession and her bloodstained self but she’s really a sick infatuated dog with a tenuous leash to life in the first place. she gathers texas in her arms, both naked now, her tail trembles when she can’t even exactly find herself to be happy or in despair or anything when faced with what she might’ve wanted the most in her life. or she’s not even sure what she really wants from texas, or she does know, but she wouldn’t ask it of her. there’s a tremble from her whole body as she just holds texas close to her, chest to chest, her ears pressed back. then kissing her again, with the desperation she held of her entire life knowing and being in love with texas. there are too many reasons why. she probably simply doesn’t reach for what she selfishly wants. she’ll do anything for her but for what she wants for herself. her black claws scratch lightly to texas’ skin, her tongue seeking texas’, a soft needy sound from her throat. she could think, well maybe she could simply use her tongue or fingers or whatever else if texas might simply want relief. it could be simple as that, she might even prefer it. but she’s always wanted to kiss her, to be with her, hold her close almost painfully tender. even with all the violence in her there’s all the infatuation in her to texas. all the fantasies she has of mating her roughly, but she also just wants to kiss as well. maybe this won’t last, she’ll steal kisses at least while texas allows her. ]
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peacockstop2025-01-15 09:00 pm
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she can practically feel her hackles raise a little at the offer. not exactly out of aggression, but, ] You're being so obliging or, uh... [ she practically struggles a little over what she's trying to say or articulate. it's just so surreal she still barely know how the fuck to handle this because she's used to a lifetime of texas basically stonewalling her. she's comfortable with that and with bothering texas. whatever this is is just taking her aback. ]
Or are you pitying me? I don't really care that much about rank, you know.
[ she may as well already be the lowest of the low, infected lone wolf. she really knows she can't rely on anyone but herself. constantly willing to help texas or even help others, she knows nobody would extend a hand to her... maybe amiya. and maybe texas only had once, twice, when she was already ready to die.
anyway, texas willingly saying something crazy like 'stay with me' is just so completely unrealistic to her she can't really believe the offer at all. ]
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(no, she doesn't. that offer wasn't from pity, that was because she had enough of an idea on how horrible the basement is. between finding out broca avoids going back to his suite down there thanks to weiss and having had seen it multiple times, she's gotten an idea. she hasn't heard the moans, she hasn't heard everything. but....yeah, she had enough of an idea. too much of one. her legs are crossed while she sits calmly, tights covering them up and form fitting while texas thinks this over.
maybe it's better to just say that, they have plenty wrong with them, and it's not like cellinia helped that. five months of thinking has done enough. in this hellhole that is the golden peacock, she shouldn't do as she normally would. maybe that makes her spade mark burn in irritation, but she stands by her decision willingly. besides, the timing wasn't so bad on the specifics. they don't have to rush this (figuring out where to go from stonewalling to otherwise is different) since it isn't like they'll be leaving any time soon.)
Didn't I tell you that I had five months to think?
(she might hate the resort, but going at it alone is....also the other struggle. their natures as lone wolves might differ, but texas does still keep to herself strongly. nothing has changed in that. she can blend in seamlessly, fit in anywhere, but that doesn't change much else about her.
it's not like she's saying that per-say, but more that she does want to try and do something more. against her nature, against that spade mark burning. that brat really does annoy her.)
Believe me if you want to, or don't. I still offered it.
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and then of course, there's common sense just telling her that the two of them must be genuine friends or more and isn't that just how reality works. friendship or more could somehow seem so impossible with herself. anyway it's natural for the strong to pity the weak. nothing particularly wrong with that. not that she thinks of herself as weak, not that she's particularly prideful, not that she doesn't like the idea of living with texas, it just sounds a little suspicious. ]
Looks like you've changed in those five months, then. [ somehow, possibly, even more so than in seven years. just maybe. she definitely would never expect texas to offer her a place when she'd found her in lungmen. ]
I'll think about it. [ ... ] Or I suppose it'll be convenient for you. It should go without saying I wouldn't mind... helping, with that mark of yours. Might as well keep someone like that close, if you're not already keeping three other girls in your bedroom or something.
[ maybe out of pocket, maybe more bitter than she should say. but she's always more than a little caustic or rotten, she just hasn't done anything about it. what a joke if her bark is just truly worse than her bite. ]
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what matters is that she reached for it, and she's doing what she had done similarly for sora. as suspicious as it sounds, five months is still a lengthy period of time to think about things. five months separated from everyone. none of her friends are here, any friend's texas made does their own thing. she didn't place on them the expectation of worrying about her, texas even went as far as to try hiding she was injured before from them.)
I do have a spare bedroom.
(some unused things in her suite, too. that jacuzzi being one, but luckily she does use her kitchen and doesn't just gorge herself on sweets as a means of staying alive. she's not a child. texas did, however, bite the urge to roll her eyes. does lappland really think she's that bad to take girls and make a harem or something?
don't answer that. do not answer that.)
Lappland, nobody else stays with me. I'm not hiding some mysterious trio now in there, the guest room hasn't been touched by anyone.
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It wouldn’t quite matter to me if you do or not, you know. [ it wouldn’t. it just completely obviously wouldn’t. ] I’m not going to be critiquing your living situation or life choices or friends. I’m just saying that… [ after years or just about nearly a lifetime of not expecting much from texas, she accepts it. there’s not terribly much to it. ] You don’t have to do something like that, that’s all. I don’t really mind if you like space from me. [ she basically assumes that’s always the case.
… she has to consider how much of that minding actually is a lie or not, because of course she wants to be close. constantly, always, but with the occasional caprice of a lone wolf even with her obsession. her tail flicks restlessly; of course she wants to be with texas, it may as well just be that she doesn’t really truly try to fulfill those most selfish personal wants. ]
Such an intimate thing you’re offering. If you regret it I might not even leave and you’ll really have to deal with me then.
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possibly, probably. she did have enough time to think about it, but she's definitely wondering what else she might have to deal with now.) I can cross that bridge if that happens at some other time. (about regrets, she means, that's all there is to it. that and maybe there's little else texas can say. she still made the choice, it isn't as if she didn't have in mind she might regret something or other depending. they're both likely to wind up getting themselves in some manner of trouble around one another, but that's another thing for the future. what was that saying? new year, new me? something along those lines is what she thinks about briefly.)
I'll show you around after the party....if we're not feeling like death because of the guests forcing alcohol down our throats and everything.
(they did still have to get through a week-long party, didn't they? texas can party, she knows that. it's something that can help her loosen up, but not when it's forced like that. that's what she dislikes, partying being obligated due to the resort and it's whims again.)
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but for now they’re alone in the car and she’s not in a hurry to go partying just yet. she shifts to cross her own legs, seated across from texas in a little four-seater space in the limo.
an expectant look at texas, then she extends her hand. ]
Show me that mark again.
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(penguin logistics does have plenty of them, plenty more to deal with from their antics. she just doesn't enjoy being forced to party. what kind of sadistic ass place makes people stay up for that long to party? the house, that's what does. annoying, but she's got enough that she's dealt with from it under her belt. experience has taught texas that they'll be in for it. between the games, the drugs going around, food, and drinks. not like she wants to deal with the idea that something might be forced on her in general, because really, who wants to eat themselves to death nearly like how she saw some of them near do already?
she's not in a rush to go back, either. but she did blink, she wants to see it again? her left glove is taken off again. the spade mark made up of both wolves is back in view, it's not as colored in as some guests she knows, but there's a color to it. the black and silver is a standout from how it looks. as expected, she was doing bare minimum to avoid an actual flare-up from the suit.
not that it's too surprising, she tried to not bring her problems on others. about as much as she tried to run away from said problems (that might take longer for her to stop, but she's trying) knowing that she's going to be dealing with a lot. maybe they might be fine, it isn't like anyone has romantic feelings for her in the resort.
....present company, aside.)
Mine wound up on an obvious spot, but I know they can manifest wherever and however they want to.
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and yes she does want to see this mark again, for sly or obvious reasons. ah yes, present company aside. how funny, she could just about gaslight herself to be perfectly truly not quite so happy to call herself texas’ friend and enemy, and that’s fine with her, and now apparently she could find herself here and suddenly have to be concerned with… hormones, with turning into a statue. well the latter is, she thinks, not such an ordeal for herself. but how funny if texas is worried about it now.
she takes texas’ hand in hers. the obscenity of hand holding. something texas probably had ever barely tolerated of her if ever. and every glimpse and touch to the mark and texas’ palm in hers is… ]
Should I feel flattered I have such an impact on you? [ her voice quieter, a murmur. her black claws lightly trace over the spade and two wolves. ]
Like this, I see, on your body.
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(that means dealing with whatever else may come from it, be it drunken antics or their party games turned into them being a pair of hot messes from how the resort works. there's no way that the foods not laced, some of it probably is. the rest might not be, but she's not taking chances if it so much as smells off in knowing how lupo senses can be. they're both here, both trapped in a haunted resort that runs off sex and puts it's residents through all manner of problems. it's crazy, isn't it? going from the miserable pit that is their world of terra to this.
but, enough about that. she doesn't jerk her hand back or anything, it stays calmly there while lappland traces over the spade mark. she did read conversations on the network piece by piece, but a pity nothing came up that might be interesting. nothing about the marks or about why the resort does this. just conversations and casual distractions, that time everyone made the atmosphere heavy aside. she did wonder if the marks do this based around something pertaining to them. maybe, but not everyone has a mark like hers or the others with unusual looking ones. even weiss had hers made up of crows when she saw that.
it must be that this one was because it chose to focus on one part of cellinia, and that would be....there's always that wolf looming behind her. not far, not close. her enemy, her friend. the person who knows her too well while not knowing her at all in some ways.)
Maybe. (it being a brat had to come from somewhere, but she's not voicing that.) That's up to you.
(they're only two wolves, after all.)
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but she might for texas, apparently. her grin is somewhat secretive as she turns texas' hand in hers, caressing over her palm, raking her claws over skin. seeing that mark may as well just instantly make her worse on principle, as much as she'd make some effort to turn texas off from offering a room.
of course she wants it. of course she wants... so much. so fucking much. texas should probably know it. this mark is doing something to her or whatever or maybe she's already been drugged during five months or who knows or cares what the hell's happened. the disgusting feelings burning in her gut, the twist in her chest, she'll just leave it unsaid, she'd be surprised if texas wouldn't know at least a little of what she wants. ]
What does it really take to satisfy it?
[ surely not just cute nice hand holding, like this possibly counts. but she wants to hear texas say it.
she always wants to be with her, almost always, with the instability of her sickness and her dedication and... there's a part of her that constantly thinks about, someday, truly giving up on texas. but even she's not sure if she ever really would. ]
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so maybe for lappland it's sounding like a paradise, because they're both trapped here. no way to leave other than trying to play the game and going from there. that's the issue in itself, how would they get the cards to make their exit or whatever else? texas doesn't want to consider if they'd be trapped there for an eternity.
the question is one she has to answer, she knows it too well. lappland has had further feelings all the same, things that are between the two wolves that often go unmentioned. while lappland doesn't say it, texas knows it. the mark sits and burns. half mockery, the other half pointedly demanding she speak her mind again from that grin and claws going along skin. she did know that things might worsen, but can anything really not get worse in the resort? she doesn't know the answer to that question in particular, but she does know what lappland wants to hear.)
....sex, so touching me.
(which means. cellinia touching lappland whenever she has her turn to get marked happen. checked-in and suffering all the same way that texas did with her "gift" from the house. a pity that her suit mark remained a stubborn brat, but she can't change that.
she couldn't change that, but....maybe she knows they're both cursed at any rate. sex is a two-way street in the resort, some use it as a transaction at best and others have found partners they primarily sleep with while maintaining open relationships. that was how they've managed, from what texas knows. so, who knows what might happen now between them.)
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something so impossible and laughable. and something almost as impossible as having sex with texas. it may as well be the kind of dream she'd fuck herself to at night with the bitterness and sickness of her heart. and now that it might just happen all she could do is just... maybe just not think about it, how much she wants, or she'd just go insane. she just looks at texas for a longer moment, eyes half-closed, texas' hand in hers. if she thinks of how much she wants she'll go insane. how she might want to pull texas close and bite her mouth, shred her clothes, claw her bloody, just about tear her apart. maybe her fantasies could barely count as sex. ]
All right. I understand.
[ she holds texas' hand to her cheek, turns her face just so to brush her mouth over texas' palm. the gentleness that nobody would think of her, if she's not going to do something so crude as rip clothes right now, apparently. ]
Do you want to, right now?
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tonight was no different, nothing else, except not with thoughts of her self-destructive tendencies. their eyes lock, amber on silver with the burn of that spade mark running through her. a demand. she wants to touch and be touched, doesn't she? it's got its hooks in her and is trying to push again. influence instincts she buries down often, make her react to something that would just as easily rip her to shreds. the same way that she might were she able to whenever she feels a shiver down her spine.
if she understands, then why doesn't she touch her? she has an offering, her hand, which her lips brush against. an admission that she needs this. she isn't good at saying it, much less being more honest with herself. wouldn't now count as one time she needs to be? maybe. that gentleness caught cellinia off guard, but texas also knows that lappland isn't always vicious. that's always depended on her, her mood, and what she's thinking about.
which means....shouldn't she say it, here? that texas wants to be touched? no, she needs to say it.)
....touch me if you want to.
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she closes her eyes briefly; that heaviness presses again in her chest; it's with an effort that she tries to stifle it. how funny it is, lately she's simply been thinking over her feelings with texas, considering letting go of them altogether. she's just texas, and i'm just--she knows, with all the memories and clawmarks of their lives together, she would and had done just about anything and everything for her.
this is just another favor she could do for a friend, but, ]
What a thing to say to me, Texas. [ even she doesn't know anymore if her feelings or words are a little bitter, or just bittersweet. she'll simply turn herself instead to what should be fact, that she doesn't have feelings at all. if she does, she'd want to kiss her, she might even want to do something like this somewhere nicer than inside a... admittedly nice, luxury car, but still kind of a questionable place to try to fuck her friend.
she draws in close, her sheer nightgown falling looser around her shoulders. her hands go to texas' top, her smile small but crooked, ] Let's get you out of this, then. Looks rather complicated, your new outfit. [ it's more to undress than herself, nearly entirely naked already. ]
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terrible to the point she can't bring herself to do something more than say it without having it feel like it's always gone deeper. isn't it funny?
she's a hypocrite, always prone to being harsh on many things she shouldn't be. maybe texas should have stopped talking. she's quiet when lappland reaches closer, her hands along that jacket part of the outfit she was given for this stupid party. she would have liked it to be somewhere nicer, but....the cars as close as it gets for them. her suite is off limits thanks to the "lovely" ghosts. anywhere else is too, technically speaking, that isn't the casino or here.
so she's uncertain on what she can say, or maybe her eyes watch a little too closely how that gown slips down along lappland's shoulders. the crooked smile. part of her did wonder if this is a good idea, it's likely not. not with her maybe, for something different, leaning in when lappland comes closer. texas isn't the best of kissers, she can admit that much on a good or bad day. yet this is something different, her bare hand reaches to touch lappland's cheek in a gentle caress that shouldn't have made texas shiver the way she did and....
for once, she found need to do something right when texas comes in closer. if possible, she kisses lappland. lips crushed together like she was holding back this whole time from something more than that. it makes everything go quiet, no mockery, no burns along her hand. just. silence.)
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and however more pathetic is, she could idly think, if helping texas means touching her or having sex with her it could maybe still be just be done as a matter of fact and not much more than that. the flattery of seeing the mark, the sinking feeling in her gut over what it could mean because it'll just finish in more inconvenient feelings for the both of them. if she had feelings she'd want to kiss her or sink her claws in her and never let her go. but she doesn't do that and so she almost freezes when texas touches her because--
she's not sure if texas has ever done that before, actually, if she were to think of it, for their entire criminal lives.
and she could dream of texas kissing her with the idle thought that of course it won't happen. she's tense through it, tail stiff, ears trembling before flicking back. her heart aches with longing. the snarl of her self-control tries to clench down on it. she doesn't move for a moment before, almost tentatively, trying to kiss back as her eyes flutter and heat flares in her chest. how useless it is to want something like this, she barely considers her selfish wants, but she'd always wanted to do this. ]
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but that's something to worry about in the future, that future being whenever she's not lip locking with her friend and enemy. she's still not the greatest at this, with kissing. she's still trying even with her tongue licking at lappland's lips between each of them to taste her. she's pretending. half pretending that this did not make her suit worse in some of the things she was feeling, the other half wanting to strip down and let out some of those feelings she's had hidden away. not the whole truth (please, it's texas, she would never stop that) yet enough to make something clearer.
that she hides her own feelings too well at times, her own desires, if she withheld from touching lappland or going past handholding as they grew older in brunello for that long in what rarer instances she can remember of that much.
the kiss is starving, teetering into being a mess. how can she get this hungry for someone she claims she didn't trust, that she claimed she couldn't while saying all those things hurtful things? that's better off left unanswered. if not now, then maybe never out loud. she's understood too well that they're doomed, and there isn't any other way around it. and by doomed, she means they'll never be normal about this. perhaps never even get that far knowing one of them terminal and the other is....a coward more than she wants to admit. likes to admit, truly.)
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she could just about dedicate her life until she could slowly admit she doesn't have terribly much life left, however much her life is worth. she could finally try to use it against other goals.
but the dedication and obsession might never quite leave its claws in her like sickness. if she were any more selfish she would have tried to make texas hers any time sooner or at all. even now the idea barely occurs to her until she could feel texas' hands at her nightgown, texas' body nearly crawling into her lap. she shivers hard in realization and desire, the sudden crash of it onto her. the sanity she's not supposed to have keeping her in check for so long. her hands tremble as she grips texas' top. every sickly and savage and covetous and pathetic desire she has shakes in her chest. ]
You're insane, Texas.
[ for wanting her or indulging her. or maybe texas is just hormonal or whatever. she'd accepted their relationship as friends and enemies and she told herself to be happy with that. changing this might as well just be disastrous for her if she wants any more than this. she returns the kiss with sudden vindictiveness, with a growl in her throat as her claws sink into the fabric of the masquerade outfit. if texas might play with her heart or just feel like being selfish, she'll do so too. ]
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it's depressing to about how long she's been there, more depressing to remember that lappland might die soon. that's not on her mind, not when her hands glide along exposed and sickly pale skin. how they reach to cup her breasts, to grab and squeeze them. it's interesting, she doesn't normally take the lead herself. not whenever it's between them, but she is for a change. through a kiss, and by how she's touching her. it feels too good to do that in comparison to what times she's been with others for her own survival.
like that restless beast in her is calmer, despite the cravings for more. keep going, keep going, that's strongly whispered in her ears and not by her suit. this was texas herself (even with the encouragement from that spade mark) deciding that she can try and be different. that in itself would take time, there's always things which are easier said than done in that regard. changing habits which she had for quite some time included. but enough about that, her ears are ringing from how hard her heart pounds. loud, bursting, drumming.
that remark causes her to growl, as if to say she's always been this way. texas by no means is....sane. she can act a good game, but nobody does the things she does without being crazy. which is why part of her feels they changed roles with that, from the sheer number of times she's said it to lappland. though that was more a handful for her.)
Haven't I always been?
(this is the woman that murdered her father over her grandfather's death they're talking about. that was all it took to make her wipe the slate and leave. the outfit is annoying (the one that texas is wearing) though she won't care if lappland in her vindictiveness does rip it off her. she might just rip that pretty flimsy gown off with her teeth in exchange the rest of the way, or her panties if she had any with how bad this is getting for her to feel this aroused.)
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You don't have to tell me that. [ she had been with texas... she wasn't the first, she probably wasn't even the longest, she's not sure when exactly texas and giovanna became friends. and she certainly wasn't the closest. she held the closeness of a whole seven year separation. she isn't bitter over it, she had no choice but to accept it. the reality of the matter is they're both lone wolves and yet she wondered over and over again in that separation why it was, all she wanted was if they could be alone together.
all her life, all her life, all her life wanting to be with her. wanting almost completely nothing more than that. accepting the separation, or rather acceptance was something like a constant battle to do just that every time she'd talk to texas' friends. all her life wanting one thing, one person, the contradiction and jealousy and bitterness and acceptance that it won't happen, wanting one person and not even really considering the idea of being wanted back until it seems to be happening now and if she really accepts it even more fully she might just go insane beyond her current self control.
texas touching her, like she'd barely imagine. texas kissing her, texas undressing her... of a single robe, but it makes her shake near uncontrollably when she's fully naked now. the sick-pale skin, the crystalline lesions, her modest breasts, the fur between her legs. the old scar crossing her body from the shoulder, the wounds some of which texas knows and many she probably doesn't from seven years. her hackles raised, her look at texas somewhere between furiously ecstatic and almost close to despairing, her face a snarl. for a split second like she's a hit dog again, a creature who adores one person only, who chased after one person only and accepts her place in knowing she won't be chased back.
but she always, always, deeply, devastatingly wanted... ]
You might regret making me think you want me this badly. [ well there's no angel here, no idol, no giovanna. just herself. and if she allows herself to want texas she's not actually sure what the hell she'll do. ]
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(because she's always been this way. a different type of crazy, not the insanity of lappland whenever she genuinely feels that way. the insanity of a woman that chose one of the not sanest approaches to living, that girl who killed her father and burned it all down. of the three, cellinia was the one that made her own decision to not fall under the paths that giovanna and lappland themselves took. that path was a path meant to be the hardest. she may never stop feeling angry, but her choice was and still is the decision she made. that she would shoulder on her responsibility in this mess she once was part of as a familiga wolf. she is not that golden girl, what she is now is someone that went against the fold.
because cellinia texas held and saw one thing, what she likes most is life. living, dreaming, and breathing. the risk always had it's biggest highs to her and no matter this choice setting her further away from those she grew up with, she chose this. the two were part of her life and were in some ways precious to her. the difficulties of showing this is another story. because texas knows she might not ever be able to do that. they'd never reach her with the paths they took, and she'd never reach them in a similar vein until they all find what they're after. it was just humorous that the runaway lone wolf saw what she wished for first over time when she returned to siracusa.
as a lone wolf, this had been her choice. maybe now it counts again as her decision, would she regret this? can she? that's the thing about living, there would always be regrets. so maybe, just maybe....she wants to live even with those regrets. and desires more importantly to do something that plenty would call her insane over. broca would call her stupid, she knows him by now. aak might even think she's crazy after their conversation last time. but she knows, she knows what she wants to do for now. she can defend herself if it comes to that with or without weapons. so she touches lappland, her fingers trailing over one particular shoulder scar. not the one left by ingrid, the other one. seeing it again reminds her of that night. she still has a rather familiar one from her hip to her stomach courtesy of someone that's in front of her.
funny. they gave one another mutual scars that night, but her touch is gentle for looking it over. the touch of her rough fingertips tracing it before she reaches to get that vest unbuttoned and that cape she was wearing dropped to the floor. as loathed as she is to stop kissing lappland for now, she did need to keep this from being ripped off. they can't go to a party nude (even if that wouldn't be much of a surprise in the resort after she came in on that vampire blood orgy just about) despite her having a feeling that would be acceptable to the house. those bastards in the end that run everything.) If you think you'll act out, whether I regret it or not is on me. But what I do know is that if I have to, then I'll be the one to stop you from doing anything. (she should have said that from the start, she might regret it in some ways. in others, maybe not.
because that's living, that's always how it should be with or without regrets once that vest is down on the floor. her dress shirt and ascot are left, so are those slacks and her boots. damn pain in the ass outfit, ugh.)
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for one person. one person she could fixate on in a life-ruining way after all, in the way that she really could just about slaughter anyone for, even or especially family or even possibly herself. her ears tremble, pinned back. what a paradox it is because it took years of nearly losing a life purpose to be with texas when texas disappeared and now, finally, years later she could haltingly consider what the hell life could be if she really gives up on her. there's the part of her that burns with jealousy that texas truly will have a whole rest of her life without her and well, maybe it's all the better if she could try to space or cut their relationship and her obsession. whether she could do so is another question. texas will have the rest of her life to be with that angel and idol and forte and giovanna later, so wanting her now beyond friendship is slightly useless unless she really goes insane.
and she thinks about it all the time. ]
If you really think you can stop me, you have another thing coming. [ all the time. it's not really a joke at all if she fantasizes of kidnapping her, of locking her away, of keeping her all for herself. the toxicity and blackness and violence that she vents on corpses.
and then there's the reality of the truth where she'd kill and die and go to jail for texas after all. still, she mock-snarls in texas' direction, her claws rip the last of texas' accessories and ascot off, then hook to the buttons of her shirt to simply cut them loose and tear. ah... it's really, really such a pain. for all that she scorns people for masking their real selves, she knows she might be the biggest culprit. ]
I'll see if I can make you regret it yet, then.
Come on. Take it all off. [ of course, she's helping. but she's just saying. ] If I'm naked here, so are you. If you think you want me, I'll either cure you of that delusion or we can die trying.
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as that title she was given, her past was and still is falling under a single word (omertosa) in everything that happened. texas isn't thinking about it, what she thinks more about is that there are some things that she should have done better. those were regrets, she would always carry them. yet here they are, alone. they aren't bound by their dni, not even by the fact rhodes island contracted them. all they're here as is two wolves. two wolves that nobody knows the history of, two wolves who have been picked apart cleanly by the system they were once part of. they do not belong here, perhaps, not any further than they did in terra. likely not ever would they find a true home even if texas did make friends. cellinia is good at it, but that didn't mean she's the greatest of friends and people.
her demeanor leaves much to be desired, though she pauses her thoughts and snarls back at the mockery she's met with. the two of them would never know if cellinia doesn't try now, won't they? she didn't say that just to sound "cool", not even to sound like she's a big shot of sorts. texas intends to try. that's all she can do.
that's all she has to do, with or without a weapon in her hands.)
I'm hardly being delusional, despite what you think.
(a hiss, the cloth and fabric rips easily, the buttons popping off at least to reveal familiar (that one lappland gave her along her side and abdomen in particular) and not so familiar scars once her dress shirt falls to the floor with accessories. maybe even signs of another newer scar in the shape of talons along her right arm. those were healing from an event in october, but it must have been bad if a winged clawbeast got its hands on her.
her bra is exposed too, black and sitting pretty with patterns in the fabric whenever texas reaches to undo her belt. annoying clothes, but she's almost freed of them. almost free as the belt buckle comes undone and the sound of her zipper coming down fills the air. she's in a hurry to undress all the same.
they're likely never bound to change in some ways, but they're both culprits of being hypocrites about their own ideas. their own thoughts and more.)
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even if that sounds horribly dramatic. maybe she can’t help it. she might not even deny it, she’d practically lived her whole life pining after one person and finally faced with the idea of having her is turning her entire reality on its head to the point that she could barely grapple with it. years of useless fantasies of kissing and touching her, fucking her or even something at all even nicer. there truly was nothing she truly actually cared about in life at all, not friends or family or country or hobbies. just one person, until she really thought the best thing she could possibly do was give her life to that person until she was denied. nothing, nothing, nothing mattered. the chronic pain and spread of the infection, the fury towards family and country, the constant betrayals and massacres, the loneliness, nothing mattered nothing mattered in the world except her.
the pathetic state of her obsession and her bloodstained self but she’s really a sick infatuated dog with a tenuous leash to life in the first place. she gathers texas in her arms, both naked now, her tail trembles when she can’t even exactly find herself to be happy or in despair or anything when faced with what she might’ve wanted the most in her life. or she’s not even sure what she really wants from texas, or she does know, but she wouldn’t ask it of her. there’s a tremble from her whole body as she just holds texas close to her, chest to chest, her ears pressed back. then kissing her again, with the desperation she held of her entire life knowing and being in love with texas. there are too many reasons why. she probably simply doesn’t reach for what she selfishly wants. she’ll do anything for her but for what she wants for herself. her black claws scratch lightly to texas’ skin, her tongue seeking texas’, a soft needy sound from her throat. she could think, well maybe she could simply use her tongue or fingers or whatever else if texas might simply want relief. it could be simple as that, she might even prefer it. but she’s always wanted to kiss her, to be with her, hold her close almost painfully tender. even with all the violence in her there’s all the infatuation in her to texas. all the fantasies she has of mating her roughly, but she also just wants to kiss as well. maybe this won’t last, she’ll steal kisses at least while texas allows her. ]
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