TDM 04

[goldmods]

【 Thank you for choosing the Golden Peacock, 5-star resort and casino. You are currently registered as a WILDCARD in our system.

Due to a high volume of check-ins, temporary accommodations have been made on our brand new beachfront for new guests. We will endeavor to have all guests moved into their reserved rooms as soon as possible. We apologize for any inconvenience. Affected guests may convene with the nearest lifeguard or reception for a complimentary swimsuit, at their earliest convenience.

Please remember that beach-appropriate attire is mandatory. Guests found breaking dress code may be escorted off the beach until they return in proper swimwear. We hope you enjoy your stay, and have a beachy keen experience. 】

BEACHFRONT PROPERTY

A BRAND NEW DEVELOPMENT

As the resort moves into what it claims is summer, the days grow longer. The sun is projected well into the evening, the heat of its warmth dialed up to a level some guests complain is unreasonable. Then there’s the most excessive transformation of all – half the Cloud Dwelling Gardens have been transformed into a sparkling beach of white sands and blue waves, seemingly overnight. Statues nearby have been dressed up with wide hats and stylish sarongs. Upbeat music fills the air without any discernible source.

A section of the beach has been reserved for a collection of bungalows. These cute pastel homes open straight onto the sand, and are comparable in size and amenity to a rank 7 or 8 suite. All screens within these bungalows are fixed to a channel that airs reruns of Boobwatch around the clock, a classic TV series about blue-footed boobys running in slow-motion across the beach. Staff and long-standing guests all agree — there’s no better summer programming than this!

IT’S FREE REAL ESTATE

▷ Thanks to a classic move called “overbooking,” new arrivals are being checked in to all this wondrous new property that’s just opened up. The catch? Why, characters are stuffed up to 4 in a room, of course. Don’t worry, that’s what the bunk beds are for!

▷ Characters still wake up naked save for a robe, as is standard for the Golden Peacock. This round’s robes are a light and breezy linen, patterned with tropical flowers and colorful designs. Some of these robes are more sheer than others. Watch out that the gentle breeze on the beach doesn’t reveal more than you wanted.

▷ Existing characters are welcome to temporarily take up residence in any empty slots in these homes. The staff understand that sometimes you want to pretend to be a brand new guest again, all bright-eyed and ready for adventure. They can even lock you out of your real room for an extra bit of authenticity. No need to ask! It’s all taken care of already.

THOSE WHO POUND SAND

▷ Several lifeguards have been newly hired to protect the beach and its visitors. These burly fellows and lasses all have three things in common: skimpy swimwear, rippling muscles, and seagull heads. They spend most of their time hanging out in groups, flexing and gossiping loudly. If characters approach them for their complimentary swimwear, they will provide whatever they’re currently wearing for them to use... by force, if necessary.

▷ Characters who seem particularly vulnerable or are holding something particularly tasty may find themselves surrounded by these lifeguards out of nowhere. The seagulls are relentless, pushing and shoving and pulling hair until they get what they want. Hope you didn’t like your sand castle very much. Those on the lower end of the rank scale will suffer the worst harassment, and they may even go out of their way to harass wildcards, 2s, and 3s just for the heck of it.

▷ Being new hires and fairly low on the resort staff hierarchy, these troublemakers can be easily chased off by someone of a high enough rank, or an assertive enough presence to pass as one. T-they’re not scared! They just remembered they have a mandatory group cawing session to get to! Buzz off!

FUN IN THE SUN

DON'T FORGET TO OIL UP

What’s a beach without fun and games? Dreadfully boring! That’s why all of the beach classics have been expertly set up by staff, including strip volleyball nets, giant boob-shaped beach balls, and plenty of floaties for use in the shallower areas of the temporary ocean. A row of parasols with paired lounge chairs underneath them are placed in some prime viewing areas for festivities. Any time you get thirsty, there’s always a cooler full of canned drinks conveniently nearby, courtesy of Cock-a-Doodle-Doo’s. Sometimes you can hear the staff whispering to each other, “What if it’s too perfect? We won’t be able to deal with the ratings dip once the beach ends!”

Seashells have been arbitrarily scattered along the shoreline, coming in both natural shapes and ones a little more... erotic. The sexiest ones of all are conch shells that let you hear the moans of another guest when held up to your ear; supposedly, if you hook up with the person on the other end of the shell, you’ll be extra lucky in the casino for the rest of the summer. All in all, it’s a carefully tailored creation that can be called nothing short of paradise.

THE BEACH BUNNY BARBECUE BONANZA

▷ This booth constantly has smoke billowing out the top and is manned during the entire day by one man – Steve, formerly from reception. It seems this is his punishment duty for be-bathrooming all of the arrivals, last time. Those willing to lend Steve a sympathetic ear will be entreated to bring him water, since the sweltering heat of the booth dries him out like nobody’s business. No matter how characters try to help him, though, a tragedy always occurs and the water always ends up spilled across the sand. That curse really is something, huh?

▷ The signature item at this cookout are the Flamin’ Hop Skewers. Made due to the current overpopulation in the Conservatory, these spicy-sweet — emphasis on the spicy — glazed skewers temporarily grant those who consume them the soul of a rabbit, including their insatiable desire to mate. Any rabbits that resort-goers have formed an attachment with have not been culled, so don’t worry about your precious buns!

▷ The booth also boasts several other exotic meats and vegetables that are considerably safer to eat, for guests who find themselves unable to overcome their attachment. Some of these skewers also feature fruits, including the hybrid ones from the previous gardening collab with the Dizzy Pigeon. Characters are free to revisit any of the Orchard prompts under the Smoky Nectar section of our PREVIOUS TDM.

A SHOW OF STRENGTH

▷ When the projected sun is at its highest, staff members will start bringing out tarps and watermelons, fresh from the gardens. What’s that, you ask? Oh, of course these were donated willingly! What a strange question!

▷ The goal is to smash the watermelon the staff give you until the succulent red fruit inside is splattered all across the tarp, perfect for falling comically into or... eating, if you’re into that. The rules are that you must use your buttocks to do so, and you only get two tries. Successfully cracking open the watermelon on the first try will earn characters a large payout, and if it’s on the second try, a medium payout.

▷ Failing to bust a watermelon at all won’t have any penalties associated with it, and you can always try again tomorrow! In order to keep their watermelon supplies steady for the duration of the beach festivities, the staff do ask that guests attempt this no more than once per day.

DAYDREAM PARASOLS

▷ Every umbrella set up on the sands has two lounge chairs set up underneath it, with a shared table between them. The chairs are padded and oh-so-comfy — sitting in them for too long while another person is present will result in both characters falling into a deep sleep.

▷ While asleep, characters will discover they’re sharing a dream with their umbrella-mate. The dream is always set on the same beach as the waking world, but there are floating clouds and sparkles in a range of pastel colors. Other beachgoers are faceless, if not entirely absent. It’s just the two of you.

▷ Anything the characters think of can drift in and out of the dreamscape, including but not limited to items from home, scary monsters to dramatically rescue your partner from, and strange abilities to fly or float through the air. However, characters will also be at full suit activation in the dream. Once both characters orgasm or they naturally wake up from their naps, they’ll find things are entirely back to normal, as much as they ever are in the resort.

NOTES

▶ All new arrivals have been issued four food and four clothing vouchers. These vouchers are as good as money around the resort. The staff will strongly insist on characters picking out "summery" attire with it, though.

▶ Existing characters may be booted into the bungalows or locked out of their room against their will. We leave it up to player discretion if this happens and the degree to which they're removed from their normal suite.

▶ For the Daydream Parasols, wildcards may be afflicted by whichever suit their player prefers for the duration of the dream. This will have no bearing on their suit selection when applying, and suit effects should not manifest once back in the waking world. It's just a dream, after all!

▶ The dreamscape has no explicit time limit, so feel free to make them as long or as short as desired. Dreams should also be sexy first and foremost. While you can include your mom dying in the background if you'd like, you have to be horny about it too.

TWINKLING CURRENTS

THE PARTY NEVER STOPS

As the sun sets in a cascade of colors over the water, lamps are lit and floating lights surface from the depths. Stars twinkle in the sky, and Steve is finally released from his smoky shackles. Though the daytime amenities have gone to sleep, the night promises its own set of beachy wonders sure to please even the most distinguished of vacationers.

Flyers posted in the lobby and in the hallways promise of a bar ran by the most enchanting mermaids you could ever want to fuck, as well as a fireworks show in every color, including ones you’ve never heard of. With the seagulls gone to bed, peace settles across the sands, tinted blue, yellow, and pink from the myriad of lights. For those seeking a more subdued, romantic air — this is the beach for you.

SWIM UP TO THE BAR

▷ While the advertisements promised mermaids, they were careful not to include any photos or illustrations. Wading out into the sea to the floating bar quickly illustrates why: these merfolk are fish on top, not the bottom! If asked about this configuration or accused of being unsexy, they’ll lift their elegant legs out of the water and exclaim, “How else would you be able to fuck us if not for these!” Though a few guests seem unsatisfied by this clarification, there are no complaints about the drinks themselves.

▷ HOLDING ON TO SUMMER. This cocktail brings seaberry-gin, limoncello, white crème de cacao, and freshly squeezed lemon juice over pebbled ice, wrapping you in decadent flavors accenting the season. Drinking this cocktail can cause you to be overcome with the desire to lean back and sink into the ocean itself, but fret not! It also grants you the wonderful ability to breathe underwater, no gills required! And it’s topped with a yummy little ball of white chocolate.

▷ MANGO STAR. A delightfully bright drink in a highball glass, the combination of elderflower rose syrup and seaberry-gin floats a summery pink over the orange mixture of mango juice, lime juice and honey syrup on the bottom. On top are two cute little stars cut out of mango, accented with mint leaves. Guests who drink this cocktail report some confusion in the identity of other guests, as just one drink is enough to shift perception of others. Other characters may appear to be different guests of the resort, or familiar faces from home.

▷ SEABERRY FLORADORA. This is a vibrant cocktail made of seaberry-gin, ginger beer, lime juice and raspberry syrup, highlighted by floral ice cubes and edible flowers. Despite its bright pink color indicating a level of cheerfulness for the summer, this flavorful cocktail causes guests to be quickly overwhelmed with a sense of loneliness. The longer this sensation goes on, the more guests will try to seek out company to aid in the ache, even if it means appearing quite desperate in the process. Each successive drink will increase the severity of the effect.

▷ BLACKBERRY ROSEMARY GIMLET. Blackberries, rosemary sprigs, simple syrup, and a combination of seaberry-gin and lime juice make this aromatic cocktail. It’s double strained over ice and garnished with a blackberry on a pick, giving it a regal appearance. Drinking this cocktail causes obsessive and possessive behavior, however — sometimes to extreme levels. Should your partner choose this cocktail to drink, you may not want to mention anything that could make them jealous. Each successive drink will increase the severity of the effect.

▷ JUST SOME SEAWATER? Questioning the mermaids and mermen on how they came to be the way that they are will result in them offering you an item off the sea-cret menu. Taking a glass from the bar, they dip it into the ocean and offer it right over to you. Drinking the seawater does, in fact, turn you into a very sexy reverse merman or mermaid. This occurs whether or not you drink it from the glass or take in a gulp while swimming, so watch out!

ACROSS THE NIGHT SKY

▷ Where else could you get a perfect view of the stars? Despite the sea of lights below, the artificial nature of the skies in the resort means that all guests get an unrivaled view of the galaxy. Which galaxy? Why, any of them — characters will see a shifting range of constellations from night to night, including ones they don’t recognize, ones shaped a bit like something you might find in Love Dove, and ones that are identical to those from their home. Happy gazing!

▷ A fireworks show is held every night, from 10PM until 1AM. The noises are just loud enough to block out a whispered confession timed correctly, but aren’t quite enough to inhibit conversation. Most of the fireworks are from a design series known as Matteo’s Masterpieces, and range from the standard burst to abstract shapes to... well, you know. Unlike the sloppy doodles found in the margins of books while Swan Lake was decaying, all of the boobs and dicks blasted across the sky are very well rendered. For fireworks.

SANDY SCAVENGING

A GAME OF BEACHES

It wouldn't be the Golden Peacock without a game for guests to play! All guests that wander into the beach area may find themselves receiving one of two Watch messages. Some very special guests may even receive both challenges — or continuously receive a new challenge when the last 24 hours is up. The resort just wants you to have the most fun possible!

SCAVENGER HUNT: EASY MODE (SFW)

Hello, dear guest. You have been randomly selected to play our EASY MODE: SCAVENGER HUNT! You have 24 hours to complete this hunt. Once completed, please submit your collected items to the nearest SEAGULL LIFEGUARD to claim your reward of Great Tit! Dessert Vouchers and a large payout.

Guests who do not complete the hunt in 24 hours will be hunted down and then publicly spanked by a SEAGULL LIFEGUARD.

Please note that items scavenged may not be personal items. They must be collected from other sources. Good luck!

1. Collect one unfinished drink.

2. Collect two kisses.

3. Collect three pairs of sunglasses.

4. Collect four sets of sandals.

5. Collect five feathers from a lifeguard.

SCAVENGER HUNT: HARD MODE (NSFW)

Hello, dear guest. You have been randomly selected to play our HARD MODE: SCAVENGER HUNT! You have 24 hours to complete this hunt. Once completed, please submit your collected items to the nearest SEAGULL LIFEGUARD to claim your reward of Naked Yolk Kink Vouchers and an extra-large payout. Winners will also be given a limited edition WINNER pin. Any guests wearing a WINNER pin will be treated as kings and queens of the beach, and be permitted to command any other guests as they see fit.

Guests who do not complete the hunt in 24 hours will be hunted down, stripped, and then strapped into the fuck pillory by our SEAGULL LIFEGUARDS. Losers will be free game for other guests to use for their pleasure.

Please note that items scavenged may not be personal items. They must be collected from other sources. Good luck!

1. Collect one cup of cum.

2. Collect two bite marks.

3. Collect three pubic hairs.

4. Collect four nudes (nude images).

5. Collect five bathing suit bottoms.

NOTES

▶ All effects from the swim-up bar last around 2-3 hours, but may be extended by having another drink.

INTO THE DEPTHS

IT'S HIGH TIDE WE GET OUT OF HERE

Though the beach experience is perfect on the surface, things are less elegant behind the scenes. Wave-making machines pulse and rattle down below, shaking the ceiling of the basement suites. Water leaks from pipes, streaking across walls and pooling on the uneven floors. The maintenance levels are abuzz with staff setting out buckets and pans, shooing lost guests away with a heightened level of urgency. Someone got a little too enthusiastic with mopping, they claim. Nothing to worry about at all!

Even the ocean itself isn’t without its issues. Despite appearing as a boundless expanse from the shore, the walls of the Golden Peacock are a very real factor. To avoid any undue damage to the screens that comprise the sky, the sea stops abruptly before it reaches them, cascading into a waterfall all the way down to the depths of the resort. Gentle currents become swirling vortexes and choppy waves, sure to pull down any guests that aren’t careful about where they swim. A few gull-guards patrol the line of buoys that mark the end of the safe swimming area, but the primary line of defense the resort relies on is the utter disinterest most of its guests have.

TUMBLING DOWN

▷ Characters who stray past the line of buoys out in the far sea will find themselves caught in a riptide that sucks them straight over the edge of the water. This applies both to characters swimming, or characters in some sort of vessel, such as a small rowboat borrowed from the staff.

▷ Feel free to make up any sort of vehicle rentals in general, as long as they’re reasonable in size — they should be able to accommodate 1-2 characters at most. A waverider would be okay, but a yacht would not.

▷ While falling down the waterfall, characters will temporarily black out before hitting anything solid. They will resurface anywhere there is standing water, whether that be a flooded hallway, in the Crane’s Respite, or even in someone’s open toilet bowl. There are no limitations on where in the resort the resurfacing can happen; even the bathrooms at Roost aren’t safe from this teleportation.

A RISING FLOOD

▷ Drainage is a difficult aspect to manage. Though the majority of the seawater is recycled to maintain the ocean above, enough of it is siphoned off for deeper filtration that the resort’s plumbing systems simply can’t handle the volume. Leaks are happening on all floors below ground, increasing in depth the further down into the basement characters go.

▷ Characters living in the rank 2, 3, and 4 suites may notice that in addition to having leaks in the hallway, their own rooms are also flooding. This can range anywhere from a constant, unpleasantly damp floor, to having an entire cascade of water blow them and any other unsuspecting guests down several hallways the moment their door is opened. Life vests are recommended.

▷ The flooding will intensify as the event goes on, culminating in some of the maintenance levels being entirely underwater towards the end of the event. Once the event is over, the flooding will recede within about a day, leaving only a few water stains here and there as evidence of their presence.

NOTES

▶ Any amount of standing water is a valid target for a character’s resurfacing, even something as minor as a glass of water. For situations where a character would not actively fit into the source of their arrival, they will be violently flung out of it, knocking over or spilling it in the process if that’s possible.

▶ As always, players are free to control the level to which their individual characters are affected, and being flooded out of their space is not mandatory.

---

OOC NOTES

INVITES | RESERVES | APPLICATIONS

▶ BLANKET CW: alcohol; altered states; aphrodisiacs; breeding urge; delusions; forced clotheswearing; hallucinations; harassment and bullying; jealousy; thalassophobia; transformation; unreality

▶ All characters on the TDM are WILDCARDS, which means they have not yet been assigned a card value. The house is still observing and deciding. As rank and suits are assigned upon acceptance your character's suit will not manifest until they are accepted into the game.

▶ All TDMs are game canon. This TDM acts as the game's June event. The beach will ICly be present from June 15th - June 30th.

▶ Current characters may top level on the TDM. Any current characters posting to the TDM should note they are current in their subject header.

▶ The top level directory is for new characters only. We want to make sure new characters are prioritized and receive attention!

▶ If you aren't satisfied with these prompts, please feel free to check out our LOCATIONS to explore more of the resort! There are recent additions to the locations page as well, for those who have yet to see them!

▶ Smut threads that take place on this TDM can be used for rewards. If both parties in the smut thread join the game, you may retroactively apply the character's initial card values to your 52 bank. If one character does not join the game the thread will not be applicable toward rewards (as that character would not have a card value). The character that does join would still receive a small payout for the encounter. Hopefully it was a fun thread regardless!

▶ We ask you to kindly add content warnings to your threads as appropriate.

▶ If you do not currently have permissions and kinks listed in your character’s journal we suggest leaving a note in your top level of any limits or boundaries for other players to reference.

▶ Don't forget your sunscreen! We'd hate for any chicken wings to come out burnt.

NAVIGATION • LOG • NETWORK • OOC • MEME

Comments

[bedroll]

[ It's not the answer he expects, really, and it hits him with a momentary jolt of realization. Three months had felt eternal, especially alone, especially trying to carve out something like normalcy in the day-to-day of a place that's both like and so very unlike the life he's used to back home. Six months is a true eternity, then, and for several beats Gladio's left something like dumbfounded, searching for something like—what, an apology for his pity party? commiseration? congratulations for enduring this hell? The follow-up at least saves him half the struggle, even if something about it also feels a bit barbed.

He huffs a small, rueful laugh, and tucks his tumbler into the sand beside him. ]

Can't exactly say the same, for me. Guess I'm less adaptable than I thought.

[ So much for skirting the pity party, though he at least opens up his body language, forces himself to recline in the cool sand, hands splayed behind him as he searches the sky for anything at all familiar. ]

You still trying to get outta here, then? Must be halfway there by now after so long.

[laserguy]

Took me longer than three months, if that helps.

[He admits with a somewhat wry tone, but there's that understanding still in his voice. Scott's honestly not sure if he's really fully adapted to this casino, the expectation to have sexual interactions with others, but maybe that's for the best anyway. This life isn't something he wants. He'll be fine if he was able to leave tomorrow-- he'd welcome it. It's easy to assume that the man next to him would feel the same way.

Scott folds one knee up, leaning one arm to rest against it as he makes an approving sound.]

Of course. My place isn't here. [Even if it's nice to not worry about human-mutant relations for once.] Although, I might have to disappoint you by reporting that I am not anywhere closer to returning home than you.

[...Unless they're talking about Game 52 but... Scott isn't going to make any assumptions. He's pretty sure he's lagging behind on that anyway compared to others.]

[bedroll]

[ He grasps at what little reassurance can be gleaned from the response, sardonic as it is. Three months, six months—he's pretty sure even a year's worth of time here wouldn't be enough to chip much away from a person's resolve. Something about this place manages to take all the fun out of flirting. Maybe because it feels more like a pressure cooker, or a watched pot.

Or maybe he just misses Ignis and his cooking a hell of a lot more than he wants to admit. ]

Can't imagine feeling at home in a place like this. It keeps you motivated to leave, at least. I guess. [ His thumb traces along the ridge of his cup, pondering. He takes the answer to be about the "Game," since it's what he'd meant from the question. And in that he takes just a bit more reassurance, since he's hardly made a dent in collecting his own deck. Not that he's particularly convinced that anything will actually come of it should anyone manage to finish one. ] Probably won't even hear about it when anyone manages to get outta here. Feels like people are coming and going all the time anyway.

[ The thought brings on another pang, consternation on his face as he considers even just the handful of people he's spoken with since arriving. The ones who've stayed, the one's who've suddenly deactivated their accounts, and the ones who seemed to have been more of a dream than a reality, when they were gone the day after he'd met them. ]

You come from somewhere really different, then? [ Keep talking, just keep talking, Gladio tells himself. He can't leave if you're in the middle of a conversation. ] No beaches, or just no bird people?

[laserguy]

There's some things that are nice here, but... I'll never forget my place. Even if I didn't have a commitment to my team back home, none of us belong in this resort.

[The only thing better than being able to leave this place is finding a way to break the cycle-- find those responsible for the continual kidnappings and get this to just stop. A part of Scott knows that some do prefer to be here compared to their situations at home, with some not even having a future, but... he still believes that this can't continue.] For me, this place makes it easy to keep me motivated.

[He's seen enough to last him a lifetime, thanks.]

...People have disappeared since I came here. [Scott acknowledges softly, a couple faces popping in his mind that he almost misses. Mostly just because of the knowledge that they're dead in their world and yet, this is what he still wants for everyone, right? Scott glances up at the sky once more, face neutral for a moment, like he's trying not to be too expressive right now.] I hope they're doing well.

[If he notices that Gladio is just talking to keep conversation, he doesn't comment about it.] Besides the sex requirement, sort of. [Another dry statement.] No bird people, no people with magic or even demons. Just humans... and people like me.

[bedroll]

[ There's an easy camaraderie found in the response he gets, something that loosens his chest up just a little bit. He feels like he hasn't actually met many others as concerned with getting home as he is. But it hasn't made acquiescing to the game any easier, and he's got the meager deck to show for it. Somehow, it still feels almost like it should be easier to rebel against it, refuse to play, and find a way out for non-compliance rather than racking up endless one-night stands. ]

I've noticed the disappearances too. I think we all have. But I gotta wonder if they're not just going to boomerang back here eventually. [ A note of worry in his voice. He doesn't have any experience with or really any info about the jail in the resort, but he had checked the registry for their names and come up empty-handed on any leads.

But that isn't the most interesting thing that his companion says. ]

"Like you," huh? You from Japan, too?

[ It's such a wholesomely naive question, one full of a childish hope that bobs above the surface of the loneliness the drink is trying to drown him in. Not being from Earth himself, he's met a few non-humans here, and they've all been from Japan. ]

[laserguy]

[Those that disappeared returning to this place... he's sure it's possible. He wonders how awkward it may be, but guess Scott will cross that bridge when it happens. There's plenty to think about already without thinking of that extra possibility. Granted, thinking of those things are important, but... bridge when it happens.]

Hm? No-- I'm from America. [...Guess a lot of demons and stuff have been people from Japan, huh? At least from the people he's spoken to. It's kind of amusing to think about, but Scott shakes his head with a small quirk of his lips.]

I was referring to the fact that I'm a mutant.

[Maybe some small hope that his companion here has heard of his species before, but he's not fully counting on it. He's pretty sure he's been the only one so far, with people not even hearing the classification before.]

[bedroll]

[ Ah—the other Earth country he's heard about, but only in passing and without much information. Then again, he can't exactly expect a teenager to know everything, even a braggart. (Aren't most teenagers like that...) Mutants, however, are not anything that's come up in any other conversation he's had.

The word instinctively, unfortunately, knits his brow in mild concern. Not for his safety, really, as much as the general connotation of the word. There's a discreet skim of his eyes over his fireside companion then, curious about what makes a Mutant different from a Human, wondering if it's just another word for people like Satoru, or even Hawks. Desperate as he is for conversation and companionship though, he's not about to ask such a question out loud. ]

Gotcha. [ Is where he lands, with a nod, like he understands better than he does. ] That means you've got some kind of special power? A... what is it... A quirk?

[ He's hardly a fisherman, literally or conversationally, at least not so impeded by the refreshing bite of good gin, coupled with the nostalgic, briny scent of a sea that's hardly like home. ]