[ Frankly, Keita isn't entirely sure how he wound up involved in this particular production. First of all, he's Buddhist—he's barely even been inside a church, let alone attended a confession. Second of all, moving pictures haven't even been invented when he's from, which makes him a terrible candidate for any of the roles involved in such a production—

And yet here he is, sitting in one half of a confessional with one knee neatly crossed over the other, listening to a priest ask him what he'd been saying. ]

I said, [ Keita replies, his voice laced with both wryness and amusement, ] "forgive me, father, for I have sinned." And I believe I'm now meant to tell you when my last confession was, but I've never made confession, so I suppose it's been about 41 years.

[ Maybe he had better just jump right into the sinning bit. The director had been clear on this subject: whatever Keita confesses to, it needed to be salacious. It didn't have to be true, but it did have to be horny. For better or worse, though, Keita feels it a better idea to rely on something that's at least half truth rather than trying to be creative. ]

My sin is lust, [ he says. ] I recently let myself be—fucked [ Keita is not used to saying that word out loud ] by a giant octopus.