[ why did he have to put it so clinically? like he's being forced to do this at gunpoint. although when you think about it, it does feel like the both of them have guns trained on their heads at this very moment. the City may be a special kind of hellscape, but they've never been coerced into doing something this intimate -- mostly because that place all but tries to discourage emotional attachment in order to continue surviving in it.

but they're human, so they can't help but get attached to people anyway whether they like it or not. ishmael may acknowledge that she and heathcliff have had some differences, but she cannot deny the fact that he's her only friend left in this unfamiliar sea of strangers. and she'll hold on to that familiarity while everything else continues out to spiral out of their control.

she watches him continue to chow down, wondering if he's stalling for time. she gets it, though. she can't imagine herself to be the most exciting partner to have in bed either. heathcliff would've wanted to choose someone else in the bus if the others were here, and vice versa. yet she pulls herself up to her knees on the bed and reaches an uncharacteristically gentle hand out to wipe the crumbs from the corners of heathcliff's mouth anyway. ]

I may as well get this out of the way now before we embarrass ourselves. Have you ever had sex before?

[ damn

but before he smacks her for asking that, she presses onward. ]

'cause don't expect me to know all these things either.