(that smile was noticed, as pathetic as it is there was always that struggle. somehow being made to speak more to what people she's gotten to know has changed it piece by piece, some found out in different ways. cellinia herself might not ever say how. when faced with one's younger self (angry at the injustice, at herself, at everything from a system that destroys more than ever) on a war path to attempt killing you, it also adds to those thoughts being placed into perspective. texas even remembers the words screamed at her, every word that sunk deep. every remark about herself that was true, the wish for acceptance and a desire to no longer be trapped how she was.
the wish that she changed, but texas doesn't want to bring the mood down talking about the circumstances around that event. much less mention how the landscapes used her memories, she didn't want to talk about it because it's better not to. not until another time and place for that where she might no longer be so miserably pathetic.
texas however, knows one thing, that goes as a two-way street between them. knowing one another too well, despite telling themselves they do not, that they weren't that close. that's the problem in itself, isn't it? texas can say that of all the people she knows that lappland can read her to a point others could not. that maybe they both can do as easy as breathing between the soft sighs she makes between kisses, the nuzzling, and fingers running along patches of scars. she has too many. physically, probably otherwise, but she wants to lie more to herself. the only problem is that her lying wasn't working against the feeling of her lips. obsession from lappland, yearning from texas that she might not be able to say. sweet, poisonous, wanting.
her back hits the seats, beneath her this time and hair curtaining behind texas. like she were on one of the adult magazines she's seen around the resort, regardless of the pitiful state of her body. their bodies fit too well together, from that press of them and not daring to part when texas' arms goes around lappland proper, from the grind of their hips together. she moans, she moans into the kiss. feeding them like the sweets she often eats to lappland, her own hips rutting, grinding slowly against lappland's own. for someone that tells herself and lies so often to herself, there's nothing she can think about other than the feeling of heat, skin to skin, lips against lips with shivers running down her spine. sensual, but that can change to being graceless at any time.)
no subject
the wish that she changed, but texas doesn't want to bring the mood down talking about the circumstances around that event. much less mention how the landscapes used her memories, she didn't want to talk about it because it's better not to. not until another time and place for that where she might no longer be so miserably pathetic.
texas however, knows one thing, that goes as a two-way street between them. knowing one another too well, despite telling themselves they do not, that they weren't that close. that's the problem in itself, isn't it? texas can say that of all the people she knows that lappland can read her to a point others could not. that maybe they both can do as easy as breathing between the soft sighs she makes between kisses, the nuzzling, and fingers running along patches of scars. she has too many. physically, probably otherwise, but she wants to lie more to herself. the only problem is that her lying wasn't working against the feeling of her lips. obsession from lappland, yearning from texas that she might not be able to say. sweet, poisonous, wanting.
her back hits the seats, beneath her this time and hair curtaining behind texas. like she were on one of the adult magazines she's seen around the resort, regardless of the pitiful state of her body. their bodies fit too well together, from that press of them and not daring to part when texas' arms goes around lappland proper, from the grind of their hips together. she moans, she moans into the kiss. feeding them like the sweets she often eats to lappland, her own hips rutting, grinding slowly against lappland's own. for someone that tells herself and lies so often to herself, there's nothing she can think about other than the feeling of heat, skin to skin, lips against lips with shivers running down her spine. sensual, but that can change to being graceless at any time.)