[ well it's not exactly the wrong thing to say or think, because the right thing to do is to never try to get involved with her again at all. or it's just the case that they could recognize their current relationship and keep it that way, it might as well be what lappland has known and forced herself to accept. better that than killing texas' friends and if she really went off the deep end, texas herself. those vicious thoughts she personally tried to keep under lock while knowing in reality she's just about a dog who'd do anything for who she's infatuated with and isn't that pathetic.
and however more pathetic is, she could idly think, if helping texas means touching her or having sex with her it could maybe still be just be done as a matter of fact and not much more than that. the flattery of seeing the mark, the sinking feeling in her gut over what it could mean because it'll just finish in more inconvenient feelings for the both of them. if she had feelings she'd want to kiss her or sink her claws in her and never let her go. but she doesn't do that and so she almost freezes when texas touches her because--
she's not sure if texas has ever done that before, actually, if she were to think of it, for their entire criminal lives.
and she could dream of texas kissing her with the idle thought that of course it won't happen. she's tense through it, tail stiff, ears trembling before flicking back. her heart aches with longing. the snarl of her self-control tries to clench down on it. she doesn't move for a moment before, almost tentatively, trying to kiss back as her eyes flutter and heat flares in her chest. how useless it is to want something like this, she barely considers her selfish wants, but she'd always wanted to do this. ]
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and however more pathetic is, she could idly think, if helping texas means touching her or having sex with her it could maybe still be just be done as a matter of fact and not much more than that. the flattery of seeing the mark, the sinking feeling in her gut over what it could mean because it'll just finish in more inconvenient feelings for the both of them. if she had feelings she'd want to kiss her or sink her claws in her and never let her go. but she doesn't do that and so she almost freezes when texas touches her because--
she's not sure if texas has ever done that before, actually, if she were to think of it, for their entire criminal lives.
and she could dream of texas kissing her with the idle thought that of course it won't happen. she's tense through it, tail stiff, ears trembling before flicking back. her heart aches with longing. the snarl of her self-control tries to clench down on it. she doesn't move for a moment before, almost tentatively, trying to kiss back as her eyes flutter and heat flares in her chest. how useless it is to want something like this, she barely considers her selfish wants, but she'd always wanted to do this. ]