[ there's something sweet about this, and embry does not consider himself a sweet person by any means. only ash thinks that, and mistakenly so — ash is so good and so noble that embry could (and has) hurt him in so many ways, and ash still thinks the world of him. embry, on the other hand, is overflowing with bitterness at how the world has personally fucked him over, how a god he doesn't believe in has laughed in his face and handed him a gun and said kill a man, but fuck you if you think you can love one.
and then here's hawk, worse off than he is, decades before the shithole embry lives in. it's humbling, to say the least, as someone who knows and respects history. who's disgusted by so many parts of it. the way hawk kisses him carries a certain weight. his touch feels hotter, more electric. maybe embry just hasn't felt alive since being here, severed from a life of suffering over what he can't have — and he needs it. the suffering. the pain. the longing. what is he without it? ]
A complaint?
[ hawk's hand makes him shiver despite how fucking tame this is compared to what embry is used to — but it's everything when he fixes it in the course of his life and presumably hawk's. he's learned to play the game so well that being a model closeted citizen feels normal. ash asking him to uproot everything they'd hidden their hearts for had stung — and his rational brain can recognize the inherent fucked-upness of that. embry is never going to be waving a pride flag in the streets when he could just dick down a stranger in a club and relish in his bisexuality with pure carnal pleasure. ]
That you're not going to fuck me in public.
[ it's a tease, and half a promise that he'll get hawk there one day, not because he would ever admit to any truly good intentions, but because it seems like the rightly corrupt thing to do to a man who's never experienced the joys of public promiscuity. ]
It's a deal. You really are a politician.
[ embry runs a hand through hawk's hair, closing his fingers around a fistful of dark strands and yanking back to expose his throat, so he can suck a hard kiss right where his pulse flutters against his mouth. his fist sets an unforgiving pace at hawk's dick, hard strokes making it apparent that embry does not intend to take his time with anything. ]
If it leaves a bruise — [ his tongue soothes over hawk's reddened skin, kissing up to his jawline. ] Then I owe you a favor. Cash in whenever you want.
no subject
and then here's hawk, worse off than he is, decades before the shithole embry lives in. it's humbling, to say the least, as someone who knows and respects history. who's disgusted by so many parts of it. the way hawk kisses him carries a certain weight. his touch feels hotter, more electric. maybe embry just hasn't felt alive since being here, severed from a life of suffering over what he can't have — and he needs it. the suffering. the pain. the longing. what is he without it? ]
A complaint?
[ hawk's hand makes him shiver despite how fucking tame this is compared to what embry is used to — but it's everything when he fixes it in the course of his life and presumably hawk's. he's learned to play the game so well that being a model closeted citizen feels normal. ash asking him to uproot everything they'd hidden their hearts for had stung — and his rational brain can recognize the inherent fucked-upness of that. embry is never going to be waving a pride flag in the streets when he could just dick down a stranger in a club and relish in his bisexuality with pure carnal pleasure. ]
That you're not going to fuck me in public.
[ it's a tease, and half a promise that he'll get hawk there one day, not because he would ever admit to any truly good intentions, but because it seems like the rightly corrupt thing to do to a man who's never experienced the joys of public promiscuity. ]
It's a deal. You really are a politician.
[ embry runs a hand through hawk's hair, closing his fingers around a fistful of dark strands and yanking back to expose his throat, so he can suck a hard kiss right where his pulse flutters against his mouth. his fist sets an unforgiving pace at hawk's dick, hard strokes making it apparent that embry does not intend to take his time with anything. ]
If it leaves a bruise — [ his tongue soothes over hawk's reddened skin, kissing up to his jawline. ] Then I owe you a favor. Cash in whenever you want.